In this episode, I am joined by Lauren Maria Medina to talk about her transformation inside of Momentum and THE PARADIGM. You ready? Let's do it.

Hello. You are listening to Love Your Life as a Performer podcast. I'm Kelli Youngman and I am The Life Coach for Performers. I help actors, singers, and dancers love themselves and their lives way more. So keep listening to learn how you can love your life both on and off the stage.

Hello, everybody. Welcome back to the Love Your Life as a Performer podcast. I'm so excited to be here with Lauren Maria Medina. And we're just going to have a conversation and talk about her journey with coaching. So Lauren, say hello, introduce yourself.

Hi, Kelli. Hi, everyone. Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to like reconnect with you in chat. I'm an actor, singer, artist, creative in the musical theater world, screen, TV, film world and beyond. And I started working with Kelli, really, like, I feel like more seriously in January. And yeah, the benefits and the new perspective that I get to apply in my life has been amazing. So I'm always happy to chat about it.

Yeah. So Lauren, you originally joined Momentum in like November ish of 2023. And if you can remember, like what kind of drew you to coaching or like what inspired you  to book a call? Like what was going on at the time?

Yeah, I think I think I was at like,  Breaking point sounds dramatic, but I I felt I had exhausted options like  trying to  address the constant and persistent like cyclicar thoughts I was having around the industry, around auditioning, around my career. And I had done The Artists Way, which is a really incredible book about which I've talked to you so much about, about like creative rehabilitation.  And I wanted to just keep that sort of momentum going. And, you know, I was, I still am in acting class and  I felt like I was doing,  I was being really intentional and doing all of the things within my control or at least I thought to  Have a good mindset around my career slash just progress my career period and I thought maybe a better angle in progressing my career is looking inward and changing my mindset around it. Not just alone, but with the help of somebody else, and then I was just seeing your posts and, and then I had that amazing interaction with you when we worked on a project together.

Oh my gosh. Wait, will you tell this story?

Oh my gosh! Well we were working  on a friend's like original song and like his music video for it. . I just was like chatting with you and I was talking about The Artists Way, I think. And you were like, yeah, that sounds really cool. That's kind of what I do. Like I'm a, I'm a coach and slash like my journey.

 I feel like one, I have to just say this out loud. Lauren has the voice of an angel. And so when we were working on this project, I heard the track cause we were like dancing to it and recording like the video, but like I heard her voice before I met her. And so we like, I feel like met at a random bar where we were filming part of the video and we just started having a conversation and you shared that with me and I was telling you about how I manifested my Broadway debut. Yes, that's what it was. That's what it was. And so I told you that story and you were like, Whoa, and I feel like that was just like our first interaction. And then it was like a few months later that you had decided to like make the leap and join Momentum.

Totally. That was totally the catalyst. I had to like see out where I was at at that time in order to like have the space to be ready to like take you on to be honest. So yeah, I met you and it all fell into place. But yes, you're right. That is how it went. 

So okay, so when you joined THE PARADIGM in January 2024, especially because I guess we have another round of THE PARADIGM happening right now we're getting ready for enrollment for January 2025. What was like? What was your biggest desire or like, what did you want to get out of doing that container in the first place?

I feel like so much. I just wanted,  I wanted to do everything within my power and within my capability to, like, in a practical sense, progress my career.  And also, it felt really urgent and necessary for my, like, well being and peace to, like, unblock all of the blocks I had as a human being, living my day to day life and in relationship to my career in my in this industry Like  all of it. I think I think they're now i'm realizing they're a lot more One in the same than I thought  but yeah, like I just wanted to improve  my quality of day to day life and I found myself like almost having like a strange like obsessive attitude about like  my rejections and like the stagnancy, I could sometimes  feel in like the lack of momentum.

And I was feeling so much momentum. I remember I had just left a really great job playing a really sick role. And  during the like final month of that run, and like the following weeks after I had final callbacks for like five different shows.  And all of them really sick projects. And I thought like, surely one of them will land and none of them landed. And I felt really crushed about it. And I felt like I didn't want that feeling to like, continue to cloud my time re emerging into New York. And I wanted to continue the momentum that I was feeling from that show and those callbacks.  Yeah.  I hope that answers your question.

You know what's so wild, Lauren, is actually because, okay, we're recording this right now in October and we wrapped up THE PARADIGM in July, so this is also like a little bit of a reunion for us. So it's all kind of coming back to me too, is that also there was like a lot of resistance for you in even being in New York during the winter. Yes. And  I think it was really interesting because again, this is part of why coaching I think is so valuable is like your perspective on it was like, oh my gosh, like none of these landed. Yet you were in the room for five incredible projects, like making it to final callbacks. And on top of that, correct me if I'm wrong, but I think like the momentum of your auditions actually was still going. Like you were still getting a lot of auditions at that time, right? 

I was, but I think I was just so,  I was so confused and frustrated and I felt like a hamster like running on a wheel like that just wasn't gaining the results I wanted to, that I think part of me was like fuck it like maybe I should just  I mean I honestly I like sometimes still feel pulled that way just like being in your 20s and figuring out what you want Like I think a part of me was like  fuck it. Maybe I need to explore other things in my life I care about  but I think that was more so coming, which you helped me figure out, it was more so coming from a point of view of like abandonment and just running away from problems than it was making like a joyful decision towards like  exploring and being curious. Do you know what I'm saying?

Yeah, because I feel like that was a huge part of your journey. Was like, right, we were working on releasing the disappointment or the feelings that were coming up about these air quote rejections. But then on top of that, you were starting to explore, well, what else, what else? What comes after Like what's after the manifestation after the manifestation, right? Like taking that idea of your Broadway debut, which is so freaking inevitable, like it's just a matter of time, but also realizing like that there's so many other things that you're passionate about, right? Like taking that one thing off the pedestal to know that  your whole life is enriching who you're becoming as an artist. I feel like that was a lot of your journey. 

I'm curious to know Lauren, cause I feel like there was also like this idea of travel was really big for you and like, when you were thinking about like, maybe I'm just going to go and I'm just going to go away for a few months.  Let's talk about what it was like for you changing your relationship to knowing that you're not going to miss out, if and when you go on these trips or vacations. Like I feel like there was a little bit of permission granted or permission needed to give yourself to know that it was safe to go out of town. Which I think is something that comes up for a lot of performers. 

Absolutely. Well, a really direct example that happened when I went  to Costa Rica, when did I go to Costa Rica? In June, I think? Yeah, I think that's right. I went away for a week and I had, at least in my memory, since I've graduated three years ago, never had a conversation ever or never made the firm decision  at any point in the past three years. Hey, this week I'm not taking auditions. Like, I need to  honor that and relax and have a true vacation. Right? And I decided for this one being in Costa Rica and like taking the leap to actually do something like that. And like  all the work that went into it, I was like, yeah, for one week, I'm not going to take an audition.

And then of course I got this like really big audition. And it was, like, something that was going  to take a lot of time for me to do. Like, it wasn't something I could just, like, quickly get done in Costa Rica. Like, it would have taken up a day of my week, probably. Or it would have been a moment. My point being, it would have been a moment, right? It wasn't casual. And I remember being really nervous, but, like, doubling down and being like, Hi, I'm sorry, like, I'm not going to do this. I really want to honor this time.  And it's funny. Cause then my agent was like, okay, then we're going to have to pass like, they can't wait for you. And I was like, okay,  I trust this isn't the one. And then I came back from vacation and then I got an email like a week later from my agent being like, Oh, actually they can see you  and they can actually take your tape and they're still looking.

So I was still able to submit the tape, which is so funny. But like at that time,  I know it seems like a silly story, but at that time

No, it's so good. It's not silly at all, Lauren. Not silly at all. I have like, full body chills.

Like, it wasn't going anywhere. And also, like, I really, really firmly believe that like,  in order to be a fuller  I don't believe, I KNOW. Like, in order to be a fuller artist and storyteller, like, you have to travel, you have to meet other people, you have to live a full fucking life outside of this, like, weird bubble we can be in in this industry. And, like, it does feel like a push and a pull, and it does feel like a opposing thing sometimes to, like, take a step out of it and take yourself, whatever, air quotes, out of the game for a month, two months, a week, but  I, I really think if you do it intentionally, like, it, it just makes you  a fuller, more rounded human being, and it actually will make you better at what you do. 

Yeah, and I think it Yeah, totally. And I think it's also like, just deciding what even, air quote, out of the game means for you. Because when I look back on your journey, Lauren, like you weren't actually ever out of the game. You were just out of the game of like being in the cycle of thoughts that felt terrible, right? And engaging with your career in a way that felt you were intentionally getting out of that game, right?

True. True.

If you can remember what beliefs or thoughts or what allowed you to get to the place where you're like, yeah, this is my week away. I'm honoring this time. Like, I feel like you got to an intentional place about that, where a lot of people would be like, I don't know how the fuck you did that. So if you have any breadcrumbs  for the people. Like, what was the journey to get to a belief system where you could just stand and say what's meant for me is not going to pass me by?

Practice.  And I'm not perfect, obviously. And I still like grapple with that all the time. But I'm growing and I'm in a stronger place with it and it's a constant journey. But I really think it's practice. I think it's like, these are learned skills that don't just come in a day and from the flip of a switch, like, especially when these sort of thoughts are not natural to you or maybe weren't the things you were taught like it's unlearning and it's affirmations you have to  say to yourself every day I'm looking at like my Martha Graham quote on my mirror. Like I'm thinking of all the time I've put into meditating in the morning and moving my body and making space in my body, so there's space in my mind. I'm thinking of like the intentionality I had in taking what felt like  which is funny, but at the time felt like a financial risk, like committing to you. Like all of it. It's just I think it's been a culmination of like a lot of very intentional, not hard work as in like... no, yeah, like hard work like it can be difficult because there there can be resistance within you Slash like you you need to be intentional about it over time. So I really think that's what it is  .

Oh, Lauren, that's so good. And I think you just hit on a few things because I mean, I still make investments and it still feels like, all right, here we go. Right? Like that feeling, I think is a huge part of the transformation, but even with the risk or the perceived risk, that feeling of like, Oh, here we go. Like  what allowed you to anchor into  certainty and make the leap? 

The leap to work with you.

Yeah, yeah, like, because you said it felt like a risk at the time. 

Yeah, I think,  to be so honest, I think it was two things. I was like, I've exhausted so many, like I've tried on so many different things, and like, I'm tired. And like, I don't want to say...  desperation isn't the right word, like on one end I was just like,   I wish I could tell you part of it was an empowering choice, but part of it wasn't. Like, part of it was just like, I'm so sick of feeling this way. Like, one, like, I'm done. I'm tired of my bullshit, right? Tired of my bullshit.  So there had to be a certain amount of bullshit felt for me to get there, do you know what I'm saying?

Definitely.

And, but two, also,  the truer voice within me, knowing that there is no better investment than an investment you make in yourself. And like,  if you can swing acting classes and you can swing voice lessons and you can swing the outfits you buy for your auditions, I don't know, you fill in the examples. Like if you can start to unlock feeling that way about like investing in your voice, investing in your body and dance classes, investing in your craft and acting classes, whatever, right. I could go on and on.  You can also apply that mindset and should apply that mindset to investing in your mental well being and your  very important health around your perspective of your career, your relationship to it, your relationship to your creativity, maybe number one.  Because that's that's what's guiding all of it. But I don't know if I I don't know if I ever really  really clearly pieced that together. Until I made the leap to work with you and like saw the benefits.

Yeah. The other thing that I think comes up for a lot of people is like  in the beginning, six months can feel like a long time to like commit to doing something. Did that resistance come up for you when you thought about joining THE PARADIGM?

 Uh,  I could see that probably for a lot of people. I think I'm somebody that when I commit, I'm in. So I was like that, and it made sense to me. Like,  if you want to see longterm change, like you have to  commit to that level sometimes, I think. I mean, what you do is not like therapy, obviously, like it's not the same as therapy, but if I feel like if you look at it from that sort of mindset, like, yeah, there's someone unlearning to do, there's some practices to uphold, there's some handholding to be had in the beginning and like, there's kind of no way out, but through like and time.  I was never like skeptical about that. That always made a lot of sense to me and I was ready.

Okay.  Lauren. So another, you know, part of THE PARADIGM, right. It's all about having it all personally, professionally, financially. I'm curious because I feel like you had some really cool shit happen when you started opening yourself up to like, yeah, I also have these other passions.  If I'm remembering correctly, I think there were some things you had to move around once you got your show at Ogunquit,  but there was like some other really cool opportunities in creating an offer and exploring what you wanted to contribute to the world as you were pursuing your career. Can you share a little bit about that? 

Oh yeah, I mean, I just feel, I'm sure a lot of us do, I feel I have so much more to offer to the world besides, like, performing in a show or like within a job.  And I also think a huge part of enjoying my life when I'm not in a show, because so much of your life is when you're not on a job.  As opposed to the mindset being like, I'm just floating through my life and like making it by until the job comes which is just such a shit way to live your life. And I think like a lot of young people like out of school feel that way that like the job's gonna save them. Which is just not a sustainable way to live in a really toxic relationship with work. Instead, we really explored like,  how can I use my time in between jobs, like really fruitfully slash  to get back to your point, like use the skills I have outside of like performing in a show or the passions and ways I want to change the world and help people like in that time. So like I started to explore, which I'm still expanding, obviously, like Coaching. I love kids and I like have so much experience working with kids and like explore like working with children more in terms of having my own coaching business with kids, teaching them acting and on camera skills and musical theater skills.

Or like I work for this amazing company, AIM, which stands for awareness in motion, which is like  all about helping people in the corporate world or children in New York public schools or teachers in public schools, um, Like mindfulness skills, community building skills, like really tangible mindfulness practices they can do to help them show up for their jobs better. And like, that has helped me so much in enjoying my day to day life, as opposed to like going to a job that I don't feel like is me living in my purpose or like helping people.  So like, I feel like your work with me helped me to explore not only like  things I'm really good at and things that I feel connecting my purpose in outside of performing, but also like  making money off of it too. So that, so that I could take steps away from things that I felt like I had to do in order to make money, even though I hate it. 

Yeah. So good. It's so interesting, right? I think when we're in that season or in that chapter, it's really hard to acknowledge that we just have choices that we get to make and that we can lean into those choices and trust that money will come through those avenues as well.  But what was it like for you, Lauren? Cause I know there was a time when you were sort of pulling back from your serving job at the time and like wanting to give more energy to your coaching and things like that. What helped you bridge  that gap or that jump for yourself with like your financial thoughts and worries?

Yeah, I think I think just like I don't know I think you just really unlock something in me when you were like you have skill sets and talents right now that people would love to pay  Like people would love to work with you right now. Like you don't need to like fix yourself.  Obviously we're always learning and growing, but you don't need to like  "Do something to yourself" or take a million courses or whatever. Like right now as you are you have skills that people would put money behind and people like want to work with you. And I just think a lot of people don't think that way.  Because we're in survival mode and it's something that's easy and it's right there. But when you switch from like survival  slash like a place of scarcity to like a place of abundance and a place of curiosity and exploration, like, I feel like it was more just like an internal shift of like excitement about possibilities as opposed to like schlepping it to work and this is just how it's been and this works for me, but it wasn't exciting.

 That's so good. I love that clarification of like, moving out of survival mode into curiosity and abundance and really like creation mode of like, Yeah, what can I create from here?  Right?

Oh my gosh Lauren, this is so amazing. I'm so excited for everyone to hear this. I feel like is there anything  That you would say to your younger self or to someone else who's maybe still in a place where they're not feeling great about their performing career.

Oh my gosh I mean, there's so much to say.  That your mind and your thoughts are  of the utmost importance  and when you can have  first, when you can be more conscious and just like even clock and be aware of the thoughts you're having;  and two, when you can start to sharpen and control them; and three, be intentional about those thoughts being helpful for you. We've talked a lot about like helpful versus true. Like are they actually gonna like  keep you headed in the direction you want to be headed. That's like everything and more.

This business, this craft is like such a mind game.  I think I knew that to an extent when I, you know, first getting into all of this and graduating. But now I know more than ever, like your thoughts really create your reality.  So you got to check in on yourself and explore the work you need to do to keep that sharp. Because it is kind of everything. I mean, I could go on and on, but I think,  I think that is like, sort of like the ethos of your work, and like the work we've done together, and like,  the core of the changes I've made in my life. 

Lauren, so tell me, what are you most excited about now? What's like really lighting you up?  And like, is there any vision that you want all of us to hold for you? 

Oh, that's so sweet. Thank you. What's really lighting me up right now?  I mean, we had talked about this in our like final month working together, but I just  like last month wrapped up  an incredible show at Ogunquit, that was a Sondheim show. Which is like my reason for doing it all, with such an incredible theater, phenomenal actors that I learned so much from. My point being, it was such a great experience that aligns with the sort of projects and career I want to have.  And I just want to use that time as a springboard into launching me more towards the future strongly and pointedly in the direction I want to go, which is like  being a multifaceted actor, artist and creative that takes on a myriad of  different kind of projects that really awaken, inspire, and change people and working with friends and all sorts of incredible  people and creatives and actors, in tv film  stage all of it.  That's what I want to do.

And now I have  some more spare time than I usually have just from like stepping away from my serving job  and having more time to focus on like AIM and my coaching business. So right now specifically, I really want to spend that time  doubling down on acting class. And I really want to, this is like a fresher thought literally of this week, but I really want to start I think making my own work. And like oh So it's playwriting and screenwriting classes. Everyone is like almost shoved that down my throat like for years that I should be doing that um, not that I'm doing it because I feel like I should. But because I want to explore a different creative outlet and I have a little more time on my hands, so why the hell not? So all of that! 

Oh my gosh, Lauren, that's so fucking cool. And to everyone listening, like  your vision is allowed to be that, I don't even know the word, like expansive and encompassing, like it gets to be all of it. And I feel like it's such a testament to the work that you've done, Lauren. That you're like able to speak that so clearly and so openly and so like confidently knowing exactly what you want. That's really cool.

Yeah, I mean you've really helped me with knowing that like  the faster and  I don't want to say the best... what are the words are trying to say? That I guess it really is helpful when you are very specific and clear about what you want and that there's a million different avenues and there is no right way to get to what you want. But what's most important is the super clarity about  what you want, how it's gonna feel when you get it, in your body, and  yeah, I can't emphasize enough, like I sometimes, you know, have like a right and wrong mentality and that like, there's no right way to get there. And life is full of like surprises and the world and the universe will like subvert your expectations and like delight and surprise you and change it up on you all the time. So you don't know how you're going to get there, but as long as you know where you're going, as long as you know where you're going, I guess is my point. Yeah. You have helped me be very clear about where I'm going. 

So good. Lauren, if anyone listening wants to connect with you or has kiddos they want to recommend to your coaching, how can people find you? 

Uh, my website.  LaurenMariaMedina.com is my full name, has all my contact info there and more about me. Hit me up. Let's kiki. 

Amazing. All right. Thank you so much for joining us, Lauren. It's such a treat. And just like forever cheering you on.

Kelli, love and adore you.  Endlessly grateful for you for real. Thank you.

You're so welcome. All right, everyone. That is our interview. I hope you were as inspired as I was hearing from Lauren. And I look forward to supporting you on your journey as well. I'll meet you back here for another episode. Bye.

Hey, I want to invite you to get started because if this is blowing your mind, imagine the impact of when we actually worked together, you get to love your life as an actor, singer, or dancer, even including auditions. And if that sounds amazing, come join us inside of Momentum. You get lifetime access to The Performers Plan, coaching, community, and more. And I will be supporting you the entire way. Go to kelliyoungmanwellness.com/momentum to join us now.