Ep 78: New Decisions Create New Possibilities

In this episode, we're talking about how making new decisions creates infinite possibilities and how that gets to be really freaking fun when you start saying yes to new things. You ready? Let's do it. 

Hello, you are listening to the Love Your Life as a Performer podcast. I'm Kelli Youngman and I am The Life Coach for Performers. I help actors, singers, and dancers love themselves and their lives way more. So keep listening to learn how you can love your life both on and off the stage.

Hello, hello, and welcome back to episode 78 of the Love Your Life as a Performer podcast. I wanted to.  I have like so many ideas for the podcast and sometimes when I'm sitting down, I'm like, OMG, where do I want to start? But I realized that last week I started recording a podcast and about halfway through I had the thought like, "Oh my gosh, I'm rambling. This makes no sense." and when I stopped and I listened back to it, I realized there actually was a theme. I just hadn't started recording with that theme in mind. So I thought it would be fun to actually record that podcast this week.

And before I jump into the episode, I do want to just acknowledge that we just wrapped up our final call for this past round of THE PARADIGM.  It's so wild how another six months can go by and then to be able to witness and honor and facilitate the expansion, the growth, the discovery that happens in that process is so freaking cool. And so in about a week and a half, we go into the fourth round of THE PARADIGM and it's hard to believe that it is already the fourth round! It feels like just yesterday, I remember talking with one of my coaches and saying how I wanted to do this group and that I wanted it to be about performers being able to live six figure lives to know that they have the capacity and the value and the skills to make that on and off the stage. And on top of that, having a life that they love, on top of that, having a career that feels so freaking delish.

And in some ways I knew that it was possible because I was already experiencing it. And I had been working with clients in a one on one capacity, and I watched them creating transformation. And I knew  that if I put these magnetic, magical human beings in a room together, that it would only 10x their growth, because that was my experience when I joined my own masterminds. And so that was a huge part of why I wanted to bring this to my community, to my clients, and watching them step into creating it for themselves has been so much fun. And of course, now I know that this room, this container, this incubator,  It is proven, right? Like it's not just an idea or a concept, like it's actually working. It's working and it's so freaking fun.

So if you have not joined us yet, know that this room is here and it's waiting for you. It's waiting for you to step into being a performer who loves their life and gets to have it all, truly with ease by receiving rather than efforting and running around like a chicken with its head cut off. That's the work that we're doing from the self concept level. And if you're listening to this in real time, like on July 10th, just know that we are starting July 22nd. And at the time of posting this podcast, I still have a couple of spots left. So if you're listening and you've been teetering back and forth and wondering, like, maybe this is for me, maybe it's not... just go and fill out your application and let's have a conversation because I don't want you to have to wait another six months to join the room in January. Like so much can happen from here to the end of the year when you decide that it is your time. Okay. And I promise you are going to feel happier. You're going to feel less stressed. You're going to care less about what people think you're gonna have more space to prioritize what really truly matters to you and you're gonna start making new decisions. And those Decisions are quite literally going to transform your life.

And I guess in the last few months I've been reflecting on this a lot. I've been doing this work for a long time and over the past four years really truly like becoming a coach, being coached, learning these concepts and tools and mastering them on top of the personal development that I was doing for almost five, six years prior to that. Like I've been in this way of being for almost a decade. But when I really saw how much my life shifted in the last year, right? Like, I probably say this over and over again, but the fact that I went through a breakup of a long term relationship and felt so certain about what I deserve and what I desire and what I am willing to let myself experience in this lifetime. Like when I made that decision and had already been doing the work in all these other areas of my life. It was like a one millimeter to the right. I say this all the time to my clients. It's like, you know, like a gym locker. It's just like one millimeter to the right, one notch. And my life has just completely changed, like radically changed in the kind of relationship that I'm in, where I live, how I feel, like, I don't know, I have so many callbacks coming up that I'm excited for, and like, it truly is just the beginning.

And so, I don't know, I guess all of that reflection has made me really  amped up and what's the word? Inspired, motivated to keep inviting people to know that this work is so freaking life changing. And it is literally the thing   that gives you the time and space to understand where you might be shorting yourself. And I don't want to create urgency from like, Oh my God, you're missing out or your life is not where it should be. Right. We're not creating shame or pressure.  This is a limited experience that we get as humans, and why wouldn't we want to give ourselves the most expansive version of that where we're not limiting what we think we can or cannot have.

Okay. And so anyways, if you're like,  let's fucking go. I'm at the prime of my life. I feel amazing. I believe in my talent. I have my business set up. Like if you're like, let's freaking go, go to kelliyoungmanwellness.com/links — L-I-N-K-S and THE PARADIGM application is still up for my lato-potatoes. And just know that you don't have to wait another six months. You can start  actively creating with ease, the life that you want to have now. And it really is informed by every single decision that you make, especially when you're doing that from the identity level. 

And so  what I want to talk about today is really a pathway to having more fun, but also maximizing and increasing opportunities. Increasing possibility. And  I feel like sometimes I go on these rants about quantum physics, but truly, I can't go this episode without talking about the fact that there are infinite possibilities. And lately I've been calling them choice points, right? Like there are infinite possibilities available to us in any moment and,  what we do next is literally the bridge or the door  or insert other analogy of time portal, to get you to an entirely new experience.

And so this is kind of the solution if you find yourself in a rut where you've been doing the same thing day in and day out. And honestly now that I have a much different life experience, my partner is different and we both have the availability in our schedules and our circumstances, in our jobs. Like, we've created this time freedom to be able to do different things and we just like doing things. Right? But I look back and over the past few years, I realized that in some ways I was doing new things but in some ways I was doing the same thing most of the time.

When I was living uptown in Harlem, I had my coffee shop that I went to. I would do my client calls. I would maybe go to the gym or take a class. But like I had the places that I frequented and I would frequent them regularly, okay? And I don't think this is good, bad, right, or wrong because let me just tell you like my morning coffee shop runs, like  getting to see my friends at the coffee shop and being acknowledged and recognized and valued, like all of those things are important. So it's not this or that. Remember, it's this and this. Okay.  But so  again, there was just like not always a lot of times that I was going out or doing things or trying new things. And in the last year, especially my relationship with Terry, my fiance, you know, We just love adventuring and we love trying things.

And  even though I love my time at home, like I think that's one of the biggest things I realized is that for so long, I would just be home all day, every day and get a little stir crazy. And I wouldn't really know how to engage or go out in the world. And so all of that to say, I have a story that I want to tell you that I think really demonstrates, again, this quantum physics  idea,  and it's not even an idea, like this quantum physics concept, I guess that is an idea,  this theory, that's what I was looking for, theory, that there are infinite possibilities at any point..

You don't have to take my word for it, but just hear me out. Okay. If you've seen the movie, Everything Everywhere All at Once, I've used that example before on the podcast... but it's like literally right now I'm sitting recording this. And if I wanted to, I could stop recording it and go take a bath. I could stop recording this. I could go take a shower. I could go, oh my gosh, bath, shower, same thing. I could go for a run. I could go call a friend, right? Like, that's what I mean. Like, what comes next is not predetermined. Because if I did take that action or that action or that action or I called this friend over that friend, right? Like, what comes next is Is going to be different because it's going to be informed by what happened previously.

Except for when we go unconscious and when we're living sort of on autopilot and we're thinking the same thoughts on a consistent basis, which leads us to taking predictable actions, that get us to the same place, right? Does that make sense? I've talked about this before in another episode. I am certain of it. And this is where things start to get juicy, right? Because if we want to have a different life experience, we have to be willing to step into the unknown and embracing that.

And I have this amazing example. Last week, Terry and I at the last minute, we're offered tickets to go on a taco cruise. And if you're like taco cruise, what is a taco cruise? Exactly my thought.  But essentially this is a cruise where you would go, there's a DJ and you could have tacos and margaritas or something like that. And when we were offered it, it was sort of like a taco cruise?? I don't know about that. Right. Interestingly enough, I had put on my manifestation list for the summer, like boat ride. So when that dropped in, even though it wasn't like what I had imagined, I was like, you know what, if someone wants to gift us tickets to a taco cruise, maybe we should check it out. So we said yes. Okay.

And then. There was even like a scheduling thing where I was like, I don't know if I'm going to be able to go to this. I have a call back at 4:30 and we have to get picked up at 6 in Chinatown. I don't know. And so there was just like a lot of like little things that made it feel  a little tricky when it came to whether it would like logistically work out. But either way, we said yes. We both were a little bit trepidatious of like, is this something that resonates with us? Unclear. But there was like an intuitive curiosity or let's just say there was a desire to do something different. And we were like, all right, this showed up. Let's say yes. Let's engage with it. Right?

This is what I mean by simply engaging with a new possibility to open up other ones. And so you guys will not believe this. We ended up meeting after my call back and we went downtown to Chinatown area. And we were like really early actually. And we thought, well, you know, Even though it said six the fine print was that the boat didn't leave till seven, so we didn't have to rush. We were like, let's go grab a happy hour drink and we checked one place.

They didn't have a happy hour But it was cute. We went there because the day we went to look at engagement rings. We stopped there for a drink... and Anyways as we come out of that restaurant. We turned the corner and we run into one of Terry's childhood friends. They grew up together in Hell's Kitchen. They saw each other. It was like this loving, amazing moment. And then literally at the same time, we ran into a friend of Terry's that had modeled for one of his shows... and actually not to center myself at this story, but it was the first show that Terry and I had like officially started dating. So like  I guess that was like a year ago, right? So  anyways, he was in that show. He was a model. He's an actor also and we ran into him. And it just so happened that the bar we were gonna go into he was the bartender. So not only did we get Happy Hour... we got gifted drinks, we ran into two friends and then we went to the freaking taco cruise.

We ended up meeting this amazing couple in line and to be completely honest, we didn't even end up going on the taco cruise.  What? Yeah, we got there and it felt a little sketchy and we told our friend who gave us the tickets, the same thing. It just felt a little sketch, a little seedy, and we weren't sure about getting on a boat for the next three hours or like we couldn't get off. And like not really feeling like it was our crowd. So we ended up leaving the line and funny enough, the people behind us ended up leaving the line and we walked a little bit with them and we were talking and Terry and I ended up having a food adventure. We got some dumplings, we got some pizza, and then we went home and had just like an amazing night. Right?

So all of this to say, like, imagine if we hadn't said yes to the taco cruise, right? And I mean, I don't think it's good, bad, right, or wrong, but we would have just been home having another typical night doing what we do. And again, it's not good, bad, right, or wrong. I love a night in, I love a movie night. I love resting. I love relaxing.  And  like the fact that we ran into two people that we know,  that we were gifted drinks, that we went on this excursion, we met new friends. Like none of that would have happened if we had said no to the taco cruise. And I'm sure if you think back, you can think about moments in your life too, where if you hadn't engaged with what you chose to do, it would have either prevented or inhibited the chain of events from happening, right?

Like I'm even thinking about the night Terry and I met. You know, it was at J's Tony Award party and  they had just won the Tony Award. I went there by myself and one of my friends was there they left early again, like  Terry and I ended up in the buffet line at the same time,  right? Like so many little things had to happen to end up there, so that we can meet, and subsequently fall in love, and live this dream life together, right?

I feel like the moral of the story, the point of this episode is where are you disconnecting yourself from infinite possibility,? When you say that's not for me or, and again, this isn't about like changing your preferences or what you think is inherently you. I'm not saying you have to go do shit that you don't like, but really consider, what are the thoughts keeping me thinking that this isn't for me, right? Like I think that's interesting.  What part of our identity and where did we start believing this isn't for me. Like I'm even thinking now, that makes me think of Hamilton and in the beginning when I was like oh I don't know if I could be in Hamilton. I'm not a hip hop dancer, right? Like all these thoughts that we think when we're like that's not for me.

But in doing that, we create a limitation. In saying no... again, different from saying yes to everything and knowing when you, you can, and it's safe and healthy to say no. But it's like, if you're in the habit of living the opposite experience, where you're not saying yes, where you're not going out and engaging with the world, or you're not trying new things, what would it look like to say, this is showing up in my experience, why not play?

Like, I'm even thinking now about a client who had been offered a workshop and at first they were like, Oh, I don't know if that's for me. And then they were like, wait a second. Why not? Right? Like what happens when we engage with what shows up. When we're really truly trusting that things are always working out for us and that we always get what we want or better, no matter what experience is emerging, we get to trust that it's literally showing up for us. And when that happens, and we're stepping into infinite possibility, we're stepping into the unknown,  we have less predictable outcomes that leave room for the universe to surprise and delight us, to have things show up in ways quicker than what we imagined.

Like, I'm even thinking about another client now who in the last round of THE PARADIGM got to dance with a major artist at Madison Square Garden. And it showed up not even a week after they fully decided that this is who they are. They're a hip hop dancer. This is what they do. They perform on big stages in front of 20,000 people, right?

Like all of this to say, when we decide, when we are engaging with the world when we're leaving space for this is what I desire and I don't have to know how it's going to show up. All I know is that when I keep engaging with the world and going out and playing and leaving space for magic, right, that's when it can show up. Like truly, we ran into two friends. Two friends on the same exact corner at the same exact time and that contributed to us having an amazing night out, even though we didn't go on the freaking taco cruise, right? Like that's what I'm talking about. Magic is everywhere and infinite possibilities exist when you're willing to step into the quantum field where anything can happen and you simply just decide what it is that you want to receive and you take the leap to believe that it's coming.

Because even though I did put on my manifestation list, I think I put fancy boat ride, right? We got gifted this taco cruise and then actually on 4th of July we ended up going at the very last minute, like game time decision, ended up going to Fire Island to visit a friend. And so we were on ... maybe not fancy, but we were on a water taxi going to like beautiful Water Island. And so all of this can simply show up  when you're saying yes to playing in the infinite possibility of the quantum field. 

Alright, check in with yourself. Where are you doing the exact same thing over and over and over again? What would it be like to do something totally different? What would it be like to walk down a different street? Or to call a different friend? Or, or, or, right? Play with the possibilities. And plug into  what do I want to get out of this experience? What do I want to get from this day, from this segment, from this audition? And how can I just simply align with the certainty of receiving it, knowing that the more I say yes, to new things, right? The more I say yes to new things, even if that's like trying a new flavor of seltzer, right? The more I say yes to new things and expand and challenge and stretch who I believe I am, and the more I release all the limitations and the confines of this is how I operate in the world, these are the things I do. When we're expanding that, you really are opening yourself up to infinite possibilities.

All right, that's what I got for you this week. I think I should have a counter for how many times I said infinite possibilities. And I'll meet you back here for another episode.

Hey, I want to invite you to get started because if this is blowing your mind, imagine the impact of when we actually work together. You get to love your life as an actor, singer, or dancer, even including auditions. And if that sounds amazing, come join us inside of Momentum. You get lifetime access  to The Performers Plan, coaching, community, and more. And I will be supporting you the entire way. Go to kelliyoungmanwellness.com/momentum to join us now.