Ep 77: Supporting Yourself in a Busy Season

In this episode, we're talking about how to support yourself through a busy season and how you can relate to your time, your schedule, your calendar with more love and more autonomy so that you're really having the experience that you desire. You ready? Let's do it. 

Hello, you are listening to the Love Your Life as a Performer podcast. I'm Kelli Youngman and I am the life coach for performers. I help actors, singers, and dancers love themselves and their lives way more. So keep listening to learn how you can love your life both on and off the stage.

Hello, and welcome back to episode 77 of the Love Your Life as a Performer podcast. OMGG. My loves, life has been lifing in all the best ways, and  I'm feeling rested and spacious,  and I am so  looking forward to being back with you every week on the podcast. And I know that I've said that before, and I will say it again. And I am holding space for myself in busy seasons. But something that I'm working on as a business owner is also creating really clear agreements with myself. And  I just realized that over the past few weeks and honestly, the past couple of months, things have been, like I said, exciting and full in all the best ways.

I got engaged back in April and this past Saturday if you're listening to this in real time,  Terry and I threw an engagement picnic in Central Park and it was so fun. And looking back, it was also a lot of work.  It was a lot of work and I wouldn't have changed a thing. It was exactly what I wanted. And  I am just realizing that that's been taking a lot of bandwidth, party planning and being in a launch and THE PARADIGM and open enrollment for the July class. And then also just really doubling down on my commitment to my own performing career. And so I feel like my brain could talk about many different things, but something that I've been sharing with my clients and.  you know, experiencing in my own breakthrough  is really what does it look like to navigate a busy season?

And so let's talk about it  because the truth is we are going to go through  Air quote, busy seasons. And if you've been here for a while, you know that  it's not necessarily my favorite  verbiage to use only because I feel like we associate, especially in the arts, busyness with successfulness or busyness with like, I don't know, some  kind of connection to our self worth and I'm just not in the spirit of aspiring to be busy.

Right?  But how I like to think of it is sometimes we are in really full seasons where, you know, we have auditions going on and family things and personal life and work and all of the things that we desire are just manifesting all at the same time. Okay.  And I will not sit here and deny the fact that that is sometimes circumstantially true.

I think I also have mentioned that  over the last four months, I've been working an events gig that I normally do like once a week, to have a sense of community and somewhere to go to and it gives Terry and I some space as we both work from home and I love it. It's so fun. My coworkers are delightful and entertaining and interesting. And really, truly, it's been a blessing in my life and  unintentionally,  I ended up working way more over the past few weeks and being scheduled for more shifts. And I had to really like slow down.

And so, again, there are and will be times when things are full. And, Something that I've been working through for myself is just, one remembering that I'm the creator of all of it,  right? Like I truly am  the creator of my life, as are you. So when we're in busy seasons, or full seasons as I'm going to call it, we just get to look at a few different things to help us slow down and ground into the present moment.  And so I'm just going to share a couple of things that, like I said, I've been talking through and talking about with clients that I think will also serve you.

First of all, I think it's really important to know that when we're in a full season or we have a full calendar for the next couple of weeks,  there's a tendency to want to look ahead. Okay. There's a tendency to want to  almost be like, Oh my gosh, right? Like I caught myself doing this too. Like, Oh my gosh, the next two weeks are so busy. Like I have no time for myself. And just notice if that is your current thought umbrella, right? It's not good, bad, right, or wrong, but at some point we have to change the relationship to our calendar in order to have a different experience of it.

Because the truth is, we can only ever be. Right here, right now, but if we're constantly thinking about what's coming up or the full week, then we're not actually in the present.  Then we're thinking about the full week, we're thinking about no time, and we're then experiencing it, right? So whether that's creating overwhelm, pressure, lack of time, right? You just want to be aware of that.

And so the first thing we want to do is instead of looking at, Oh my gosh, the next three weeks are so busy. I don't get a break until then, right? We're like thinking about like eye on the prize. Gotta get through these next three weeks,  that's when we sort of collapse time in a way that's not delish.  That's when we're sort of experiencing time and thinking like, what the hell did I do yesterday? Because I can't even tell you, I've just been like, zooming through life. And that's because we're literally thinking about the next three weeks as one chunk of time,  instead of realizing  that right here, right now, we have every single moment and second, right here, right now. Like we can actually experience this moment as luxuriously as we want to.  But again, if we're zooming past thinking, Oh my gosh, this chunk of time is going to be so condensed, we're the ones no longer experiencing the present moment because our thoughts are projecting and experiencing the future. Does that make sense? 

I feel like it's also important to note that our experience of time comes from us. We're the perceptors of time. We're the receivers, the  witnesses of these moments,  but really, truly time is a man made structure. And if we really dive into the quantum physics of it all.  Right? Like time is non linear.  It's just, how are we breaking up our time and how are we experiencing it? Okay.

So just start noticing, how are you thinking about your life? Are you kind of thinking about it as a full week? Again, I'm not against  like having an idea of being  on top of your schedule or loving your calendar and being diligent or just even truly engaging with it. We don't even have to give it a label, but like, there's nothing good, bad, right or wrong about engaging with your calendar, but how are you relating to it? Are you thinking about the next week as a chunk of time? Are you thinking about the next three months? Has your brain already jumped to the end of the year and like next year, like where's your brain at? That's going to also clue you in on how can you slow down and zoom into right now today?

Because in today, there's many segments, and this is actually a concept that I borrow from Abraham Hicks, but we can be segment intending throughout our day. And when we break up our day and our present with it, right, we get to slow down and zoom in  on all of this time that we have right here, right now. And so imagine you wake up in the morning, you have the segment of you being in your bed  until you go into your bathroom, okay? You get to the bathroom, that's a new segment. You have all that time in the bathroom to be present, enjoy, freshen up, whatever that looks like for you. Then you, you walk from the bathroom to the coffee pot,  right? Or the  tea.  What's that thing called?  Freaking electric kettle. You walk to your kitchen. As you're making your, your morning beverage. That's a new segment, right?

And so then when we start segmenting each part of the day, and we're really present with it, we're like, Oh, wow.  This five minute  block of time gets to feel ooey gooey and  spacious. Rather than rushing through to like, Oh my God, I got to get to my 12 o'clock appointment.  Then we've already missed the morning. Not because it didn't happen, because we didn't slow down to be present with it.

Okay,  the other thing that I think is really important when it comes to navigating a busy season is really looking at what's essential and what's not. And so I'll just tell you like I really saw this in the past week, the week leading up to our party, was like, there was just a lot of little things to get done. Like errands to run. We had like ordered 20 loaves of baguettes or 20 baguettes. I don't know. Is that a loaf?  But we had like all these little tasks to do to make sure that we had the event that we envisioned, right?  And  at one point I noticed that, you know, I had coffee with a friend on the calendar and  we had already rescheduled once because the day that we had planned for, I was tired and I was really sensing that I wanted to rest and prioritize time with Terry and just, you know, Be present and together.

So I had rescheduled once, but I realized that it was like the Wednesday before our picnic happening, happening on Saturday. And I was resisting canceling or rescheduling with my friend again. Because I was like, Oh, no. This friend is going out of town on vacation, and I already rescheduled once, like, there was like a pattern of belief systems coming into my brain  that was not allowing me to even see that this coffee, while I was like looking forward to quality time with a friend, like for the week and the tasks that needed to get done, this coffee was not essential, right? Like,  yes, I could choose to make that commitment a priority. And  for what needed to get done, what needed to get accomplished,  this social thing

was non essential. And I do want to make a like quick distinction as I'm saying this because I feel like in busy seasons it is really important to prioritize rest and prioritize social things and to give yourself space. But like on this day,  bless Terry because he witnesses all of me and all of my humanness,  I was feeling like a crazy person. Because on top of  this coffee, on top of the errands, on top of the engagement picnic, like I said, I've been manifesting my next contract. And so more auditions have been popping up. More in person auditions, more self tapes, more contracts that I'm like really super excited about and wanting to do my best work. And so  On top of all of that, I was in the process of learning a song, two scenes, I had another audition on Friday. All of this was kind of  feeling really condensed for me.

And  Terry just looked at me and said, listen,  I can see that you're getting a little bit stressed out right now. And maybe these social things, maybe this is not imperative today.  I feel like there was another social thing, I wanted to go stop by and visit Terry's mom. She lives in the neighborhood and I just realized it had been a minute since I stopped in. And so Again,  I was rushing to this rushing to that. I was rushing everywhere and I just gave myself permission to call Terry's mom and let her know I wouldn't be stopping by.  I called my friend and let her know that I had other things that I had to do, but that I was still looking forward to seeing them when they get back from vacation.

Just doing that helped me honor myself and be a steward of my own time.

Even with, I call it my fun gig, but this catering job that I've been doing part time, again, I took that job for fun.  And without realizing, right, my schedule went from one shift a week, like literally four to five hours to like 20 hours a week.  That's not good, bad, right, or wrong, but I was just saying yes, and kind of being like, all right, this is my schedule, like, great, like I'm committed, I'm available, I want to be a great member of the team,  but actually for the life that I'm living, that many hours a week is just not in alignment,  right? Like I'm running a business full time.  I am auditioning and fully committed to my career and I'm prioritizing family. Like there is a neutral circumstance of having X amount of hours in a day. Right.

And  I had to really look at  the moments when I was feeling frustrated  and  be open to feeling that, and I had to also see like where I was feeling powerless to my calendar. Where I was feeling like I didn't have control of it versus like, Oh, wait a second. I could just go in to my online portal and make sure that my availability is clear. Because maybe in theory at one point I was like, yeah 20 hours a week That would be easy like a couple days, three days a week. Not a big deal right  in theory is one thing, in experience is totally different. And as my auditions have been increasing, as I've been like actively manifesting in my performing career, I just don't have that same  time and availability that I projected, right?

So instead of being frustrated or annoyed by my calendar,  I get to simply evaluate and make new choices. That included me talking to  this events job and telling them, listen, I really I am most comfortable doing one or two shifts a week, max,  right? Because I have a lot of other things going on  and that wasn't a problem. I went into my calendar for my work schedule and just blocked off my availability, right? This is what it feels like to just know that your time, your schedule, your calendar  is not happening to you and you get to be the steward of your time. You get to look at,  am I really filling my days with the things that matter to me?  And first and foremost, am I feeling the way I want to feel in my calendar? 

So I could look at my calendar, like when I had that day that I wanted to see friends, I wanted to,  you know, go visit my mother in law, I wanted to go do all these things in one day, while I had all these errands. And I totally was missing the moment where I had full creative control over how my day went. And once I took those two things off my calendar,  I just had space and time  to do the things that were essential for that moment. Right? It's not saying that that doesn't matter, but it's being honest and  available to witness how I was currently feeling. Like, in that moment, watching myself, like, starting to lose my shit,  right? Watching myself, like, become really short and feeling a little frantic, right? Like, slowing down to witness that that's what was happening in my body and knowing that I just simply didn't need to push through that. I could look at what do I need in this current moment and how can I give myself that?

  And really, it was giving myself permission to feel uncomfortable breaking plans, feel uncomfortable with not honoring a commitment. But really in that moment, what I was honoring first and foremost is my commitment to myself  to feel the way I want to feel  right here, right now. Right. Does that make sense?

And so just to recap, if you're in a busy season,  slow down.  Okay. Slow down and look at how am I relating to my time?  What are my thoughts about my current schedule? What are my thoughts about my calendar? What are my thoughts about time? If you're feeling behind, you're feeling rushed.  We have to just slow down first and check in.

Then you want to look at what is essential, what's non essential.  And how can you give yourself grace when you need to put your mask on first  and you need to tend to yourself and your energy? And sometimes that does look like clearing your calendar of things that are non essential for the priorities you currently have.

And then lastly, it's remembering that you're the steward of your time.  Right. And if there's a change you want to make,  if your brain keeps making you feel guilty, cause you're not going to dance class or you're not doing this or that. Right. It's like. Let's slow down.  What would need to be created  to shift your calendar?  What needs to happen so that you feel safe in working less hours? Or what would need to be created to make more money, while working less hours? Or what would you need to believe about yourself to know that your life is not happening to you? Like your calendar is not happening to you.  It's simply a reflection of your current belief systems and thoughts and where you've been putting your attention and focus.

So you truly do get to just make new decisions and be so clear with yourself about what makes it onto your calendar and how you spend your time. When you're holding the responsibility of that,  you just get to make sure that it aligns with the life experience you want to be living.  Because at the end of the day life is always choices. And if you're in a full season and you love everything that's on your calendar and you love your reasons for it being there,  it feels so different to find the space, how we're thinking about our time, how we're relating to it, to slow down and be present and enjoy everything on our calendars, while upping and maintaining our rest. Because it's really important to clarify that especially when we're in an air quote "push period"-  we're not just like pushing through and feeling depleted. We're doubling our rest and maintaining that rest plan because rest is essential, right? Like that's foundational always. Then you can know like, Hey, this is a full season and I'm fully up for it. Like I'm actively enrolling and I'm all in.  I'm not resisting it.

I wouldn't have changed anything in terms of the work I did for my engagement party or the fact that I've been getting so many fun auditions. Right?  I feel like when we're fully on board with the full, and we've decided we're all in on it and that we love it,  we just get to enjoy it.  And like we can still hold space for our human emotions of like a little bit of overwhelm this or that, but it's so different when we can hold space for the fullness of everything we're creating, without resenting it or being salty about it. Because that is sort of when we close off and we start protecting ourselves and that's when we're like, all right, universe, like I can't handle anymore. But if it's all good things and it's all things you're welcoming,  right? Then we just get to support ourselves in this fullness, and we still get to say yes, please, more to the universe. That's how we start expanding our capacity to have it all while still maintaining our peace and   honoring our time rather than being at the mercy of it.

Okay.  So that's what I got for you this week. I hope it opens up your brain to just thinking about your time, your schedule, your life, how you're using it in a new way,  and I'll meet you back here for another episode.

Hey, I want to invite you to get started because if this is blowing your mind, imagine the impact of when we actually work together, you get to love your life as an actor, singer, or dancer, even including auditions. And if that sounds amazing, come join us. Inside of Momentum, you get lifetime access  to The Performers Plan, coaching, community, and more. And I will be supporting you the entire way. Go to kelliyoungmanwellness.com/momentum to join us now.