Ep 74: Being Extraordinary

In this episode, I'm reflecting on what is required to build an extraordinary life. One where you know, with certainty, that you are being the most exceptional version of yourself and specifically what it looks like to navigate the thoughts, feelings, and opinions of people who are not walking your path. You ready? Let's do it. 

Hello. You are listening to the Love Your Life as a Performer podcast. I'm Kelli Youngman and I am the Life Coach for Performers. I help actors, singers, and dancers love themselves and their lives way more. So keep listening to learn how you can love your life, both on and off the stage.

Hello. Hello. And welcome back to episode 74 of the Love Your Life as a Performer podcast. Okay. You guys!  I am freaking engaged and I'm sure you have seen, if you've been on social media at all, I've kind of shared the engagement publicly and I'm just delighted. And  I am so  just  relaxed and at peace and  just in this magical space of celebrating myself for choosing a partner that reflects the value that I see in myself, that affirms the value of who I am and who I'm becoming, and  just mirrors the level of love, respect, and admiration that I have cultivated inside of myself for myself. I think that is truly  the mark of knowing that you found your person  and knowing that  you've given yourself the biggest gift  in the world.  saying yes to a life and a commitment with someone that you love. 

I am the biggest believer in love. I love love. I have dreamt about getting married my entire life,  and it's just been so magical to, have this experience. I will say that on the other side, it's been really fascinating because  even on the day of our engagement, I've told some of my close friends this story. There was a moment where I was really tired and getting a little cranky. And I was like, I don't know if I want to get engaged while I'm cranky. And the fact that Terry and I had the bandwidth and the capacity to look at, okay, well, we don't have to get engaged today. And if we want to, like, how could we create that?

The fact that we Just have that level of communication, understanding, and generosity to each other.  I think just exemplifies why this man is the man of my dreams  because literally during our whole engagement night. We had a moment where we both looked at each other felt that we were tired and a little cranky, we took a nice cold shower to freshen up, and we just came back and  You know, that moment didn't have to ruin or take away from or inhibit our celebratory, you know, proposal. We just took a little break, came back, and realigned to the magical moment of getting engaged and just sat at the kitchen table and had like a 30 minute proposal where we really did just get to  be present and available and invested in  the intention and  the beautiful commitment that we were making to each other.

And so, yeah, I don't know. I've been thinking a lot about it. And I, of course, I'm going to say, I want to do a podcast on it eventually, just like  one, the power of being emotionally available for yourself  all of the time. And two,  like what it looks like to co- create an experience that you want. Because I look back at my engagements, at picking my ring, at all of it. And I'm like,  holy shit. I really gave myself everything that I desired. Like it was exactly what I wanted.  Because I wasn't afraid to talk about and share and enroll my partner, my now fiance,  in this vision that I had for my engagement, for our engagement. And,  you know, allowing it to be  a co created process that resulted in exactly what I desired,  rather than being just like okay with whatever came. Like, I don't think there's any good, bad, right or wrong. And I just want to keep empowering people,  all of you, everyone,  to know that you're allowed to have the experience you desire.

I feel like another thing that's been really interesting already is like, people's thoughts and people's projections and people's opinions. And I think that's another one. Really like allowing yourself to hear, witness, acknowledge, know that people's thoughts are their own, and  you always get to be the facilitator, the protector,  I don't know, I don't really love to be in the energy of protection, but you get to be the one that honors the desires and the experiences you want to have always.

And so.  I feel like what's coming up for my clients recently is a lot of  one, like career stuff always, and a lot of relationship things. So I feel like that's kind of the direction I want to go for the next couple of episodes to  invite in loving neutrality of people having their thoughts and you deciding to be  extraordinary and allowing yourself to be extraordinary. Because the truth is you already are, you are an extraordinary, wonderful,  perfectly, flawed, exceptional human right now today.  And are you giving yourself permission to access that feeling? Are you feeling  exceptional  and acknowledging how wonderful you are today? 

I think it's really  interesting where this intersects with  people having thoughts and opinions and how we allow that to influence the decisions we make. And I will just continue to speak from firsthand experience  because  I know what it feels like to be going against the grain. And if you're listening to this podcast, I imagine that you're of the same mindset. That you know you're destined for greatness. That you know you have big ass dreams that you're pursuing. That you are meant to be here doing something that matters to you, making an impact in the world, right? And if you're with me, you're just like, yeah, obviously that is the life that I've chosen.

And really, that's the life that I have always been living, right? This idea of being exceptional, extraordinary, and not from pretension or like  pretentiousness. Is that the word? Not from being pretentious or elitist or, you know, above or creating some kind of hierarchy, but just knowing that you're here and meant for more, right?

I think sometimes when we  realize, start accepting, start witnessing that greatness in ourselves,  it can be a little strange, because most of the time it will have us going against the grain.  It will lead to us making different choices than most of the people around us, which I think is partially why it's so  valuable and powerful to find mentors, friends, communities that are in alignment with your big vision and your vision beyond the vision, right? A place where it's safe to dream and  do  things that are perceived as risky, right? Like do things that are out of the norm.  And to  acknowledge, witness, and experience firsthand that on the other side of that is the breakthrough, right? That like being willing to do things differently is what makes you a visionary. 

It's what expands your capacity to take risk, to step into the unknown, to bet on yourself in a big way. And so,  I just want to share what some of my biggest, scariest, going against the grain things have been in my most recent years. And how that's allowed me to step into living  a life that blows my mind and a life that has the ability to continue blowing my mind.  Because I know more than ever that this is just the beginning.  And the quantum meditations, the expanding that I'm doing right now  is only facilitating even bigger quantum leaps. And yeah, that's going to require me  continuously  stepping away from  the societal norms and the things that most people are doing.  And when I'm doing it and feeling safe to do that and knowing that it's only ever serving the highest good of myself and the mission that I'm here on this planet to do in being extraordinary and claiming that and living into it  like that's only going to accelerate the impact that I'm able to have and expand my emotional agility, my emotional intelligence, and the way that I inherently trust myself as I'm doing things, that other people are constantly questioning.

And again, I don't think people in our lives are doing this on purpose. Like no one's actively like,  Oh, that Kelli, she's losing her mind and you know,  I don't think people are like doing that intentionally  with  like intention to hurt or judge or put down. And if we're not aware of how we're valuing other people's thoughts,  they can unintentionally, as they're trying to protect us, steer us away from making the big jumps, the quantum leaps that are going to  bring us closer to who we're meant to be, right? Especially when we're doing exceptional, extraordinary, big shit that most people are not. We're not even saying that with a judgment. We're just saying that with awareness. That not everyone is living  in this frequency  of being a visionary, a leader, of desiring more. And that's okay. 

And so I thought it'd be helpful, I'm leaning into more storytelling lately, to just demonstrate these things. And like,  I still, and I've probably said this on the podcast a million times, so I will continue saying it.  I remember the moment I quit my restaurant job  and told them I was going to book a Broadway show.  That I was quitting because I was going to be in a Broadway show.  Even before I had a contract.  I look back at that moment and I'm like, damn,  I was so certain.  I had no  fear in my body.  I just decided, I'm going to be on Broadway and I'm making space.

Now I'm not saying you have to do this, but I want you to consider what would be different if you were willing to be all in to that degree?  Again, I'm not saying do this action. If it doesn't feel aligned in your current vibration.  Because there's no point in moving somewhere where your body and your nervous system is not in alignment with, and  like, what is the belief system that you would have to have to take action in that degree  to that degree?

Like I 100 percent  bet on myself and I bet on my belief in myself  and it wasn't shocking or surprising. It was like fun and surprising,  like delightfully surprising.  When seven days into the New Year,  I got the call that I was making my Broadway debut that I direct booked my Broadway debut, right?  People around me probably were like, okay,  good for you quitting your job. You have no source of income. Cool. Cool.  Let me know how that works out for you. But you  know what? It worked out freaking amazing. 

And then. Once I got that contract for 10 shows, I figured,  well, if this worked to create my Broadway debut, instead of being disappointed that it's only 10 shows, what if I just created more? So I stayed for another two weeks, then I stayed for another six months, right? I ended up being in the show for six months and closing the run.  That moment is really when I decided I was a Broadway performer,  right? Like I really embodied being a Broadway performer. 

Another moment that I look back on that I think was really timeline changing, like I collapsed time and created an entirely new reality  was when I invested in my first coach.  Again, I've talked about these things on the podcast, but I want you to see the through line of making decisions that seem  irrational, that are actually guided by intuition.  During the pandemic, when the entire industry was shut down,  I decided to start a business.  I decided to start a business. And  make multiple investments at the same time.  I invested in my certification.  I invested in a program to learn how to create programs.  And I hired my first life coach for $10,000.  And I withdrew  funds from my 401k  to invest in myself now.  What?

I know I did that with a certainty  that I was going to succeed and that my money was better used investing in myself now  than staying on the same path.  That's how I quantum leaped.  And so what I thought was going to be like this little side thing that I did  created the possibility for a multimillion dollar business  that I'm currently building and I'm enjoying and loving because I also stepped into being the version of me that was emotionally resourced, like not even financially resourced. Like the version of me that has the capacity to acknowledge what I want, to honor what I want, to communicate what I desire, to believe that I can negotiate  $20, 000 contracts or more.

Right? Like.  To know that I can negotiate anything and everything that I desire. That's really what I got out of that first 10, 000 investment that felt like I was crazy for doing. I remember telling my friends about it and my family and being like, I did this big thing. I did this scary thing. And everyone's eyes opened wide when I told them the investment that it was $10, 000. Because it did seem wild  and now I'm a coach that gets paid $10, 000. What? So it's like,  it's not tit for tat, but it's knowing  that every decision you make that's outside of your comfort zone  is expanding you, right? It's making you available for new and different experiences. 

Then I invested in a $25,000 coaching container twice, and it allowed me to become the version of me that knew I was a thought leader,  that knew I could create impact in the world.  And then that led to me finally acknowledging and witnessing the neutral facts of my long term relationship that was no longer in alignment. And I ended it with so much love and emotion, but mostly love and certainty that the love I desired existed. And within weeks of meeting this person, and maybe longer than weeks, because we were friends first, but within months, I decided to move in with this person.  And again, family and friends were like, Kelli, what are you doing? What are you doing? But now I'm engaged to the love of my life!

Nothing that I do from the outside may seem logical or rational or air quote right, to some.  And that's okay. And that's okay. Because other people are not living my life.  And with so much love, other people are not walking my path and on my road to exceptional,  extraordinary vision, impact, mission, I'm willing to go first.  I'm willing to be the person that creates safety for others, to honor the life that they want to live, to be the biggest person grandest version of themselves.

And so lately I've been sharing this vision with some of my closest friends and I'm going to share it with you now because I know that I'm going to write a New York Times bestseller.  I know that I'm going to sell out Madison Square Garden with people that are there to see and hear from me. I know that my life is growing exponentially and that there are all of these infinite possibilities that I can embody and step into now.   And so of course,  the people in my life who know me as who I used to be,  they're going to want to protect me.  They're going to want to be like, Ooh, wait, are you sure you want to do that? Like, I don't know what's happening...

Lovingly, my mom said to me the other day, you're getting very unpredictable.  And to me, I was like, yes, how amazing. Because we have to be willing to do new things to get new results.  And as someone who's creating an extraordinary life, With extraordinary impact and vision.  Of course, I'm going to be reinventing myself daily.  Of course, I'm going to be stepping into new timelines, into quantum realms to become a wealthier, happier,  more relaxed, more certain, more powerful,  more loving version of me.  And yeah, that path is not for everyone. 

And so this is my loving reminder to you  that when you are on a path to be extraordinary,  you want to be walking that path with other people who are of the same mindset.  Not because, like, the naysayers are not valuable. They're very valuable. We can love people and accept people for where they are and we get to decide what thought feeling combos are driving us. And when we stop entertaining uncertainty or judgment or needing to prove or needing people to agree, needing people to like our plans, needing people to believe in our plans, when we start giving that to ourselves, one, you're going to start aligning with the people in your life who reflect that back to you, like my freaking fiance and future husband, completely  mirrors the vision that I have for myself and sees that in me and wants that for me and desires that for me and supports me and all of it.

Not only do you start welcoming in more people who will amplify that for you,  naturally, the people who are not in alignment will just simply fall off  and that's okay too. We can send so much love to the people who are not meant to walk this path with us.  Doesn't mean anything good, bad, right or wrong about you and you get to know that it's safe  to do things that other people are not willing to do. Because that's truly the path  to being extraordinary.  Creating the emotional intelligence,  the love, the safety to do big things  without fear, and even holding space for the fear because sometimes it's not truly without fear. It's just acknowledging that the fear is going to be there and having the capacity to move with purpose anyways.

Where in your life have you been unwilling  to do things because of fear of judgment? Because of fear of being different? Because of fear of failing? Or yeah, just simply being  on a different path or trajectory from the people around you.  It's like our brain's purpose to keep us safe, to keep us in the sameness. And if you want to do extraordinary things, you have to be willing to do what most people are not willing to do.  So that's my loving Truth Mirror moment.  Where are you still allowing other people to dictate what you can or cannot do?  Where are you allowing that to limit what you believe is possible for you?  And who do you want to walk this journey with? And who do you want to surround yourself with as you step into your version, your path, your expansion  of being as extraordinary as you know, you truly are? 

And if that's the work you're about to do,  there are lots of ways to join me. You can join me in a one on one container. We can work together privately, one on one. We can work together inside of Momentum, or you can join the wait list for      THE PARADIGM, where you truly do get to start creating and doing this work to lay the foundation for having the exact life that you want to be having. The life that you want to live and experience,  not just dream about.

All right. That's what I got for you this week. Huge shifts are coming in my world. So get ready. I know you're going to enjoy riding along.  All right. I love you so much. I'll meet you back here for another episode.

Hey, I want to invite you to get started because if this is blowing your mind, imagine the impact of when we actually work together. You get to love your life as an actor, singer, or dancer, even including auditions. And if that sounds amazing, come join us. Inside of Momentum, you get lifetime access to the performers plan, coaching, community, and more, and I will be supporting you the entire way. Go to kelliyoungmanwellness.com/momentum to join us now.