Ep 61: Changing Your Entire Life with Rachel Josefina

In this episode, I sit down with my friend and client, Rachel Josefina, who also happens to be in her second round of THE PARADIGM. In this episode, we recap on all of the magical wild shit that she's created, and she gives you an insight into how she did it. You ready? Let's do it. 

Hello, you are listening to the Love Your Life as a Performer podcast. I'm Kelli Youngman, and I am The Life Coach for Performers. I help actors, singers and dancers love themselves and their lives way more. So keep listening to learn how you can love your life both on and off the stage.

Hello, and welcome back to Episode 61 of the Love Your Life as a Performer podcast. Wowie, wowie, wowie, I have been feeling so inspired and so lit the fuck up by my clients and what they're creating in the world and what they're creating in their lives. Like yes, in their careers, yes, my clients are fucking talented and amazing and just seeing how they're able to show up in all facets of their life is honestly, blowing my mind. I think I've always understood the impact of coaching and what it's created in my own life. And then getting to watch and facilitate that for others continues to blow my mind a million fucking times. 

So today I have a very special podcast for you. I am joined by one of my clients and current members of THE PARADIGM, Rachel Josefina. And we sat down and had a conversation about. All of the results she's been able to create in her career, in her business, and in her own personal life. I hope you take lots of notes for all these golden nuggets that we're about to drop. And I hope you get excited because I have lots of fun things coming down the pipeline. 

I think it's very clear if you see me on the streets, if you've seen me on my Instagram, I am just really feeling so inspired, in love with life, and I'm coming out of a season of my own breakthrough and transformation, which has me feeling energized on the other side of the River of Change.

So I have just like really fun things that I'm excited about creating for my current clients and future clients and yeah, stay tuned. I have some more details dropping soon about fun things that we're gonna do in November and of course in December as well as we get ready for the next round of THE PARADIGM. 

The last thing I want to say before I hop into this episode is that the year is not over yet. Truly. And I've been replugging into, recommitting to my own goals for the year, and also Watching my clients recommit to big ass goals. And I just want to mention this in case there's part of your brain that's been like, well, too bad, so sad. It's the end of the year. No chance in that happening or like blah, blah, blah, whatever your brain is offering you. It's so natural and easy to go to the space of, well, the year is over. The year's already over. I keep hearing it from people and I'm like, no, there's so much time left. 

And so, Just for funsies, as you're listening to this episode, I want you to just get curious and excited and think about what would make 2023 feel like a total success for you? What would you love to see yourself create? Who would you like to become? What would you like to accomplish? And let's just plug into the momentum that is here for you now. Because I promise, just because it's November does not mean that suddenly all of our life goes on pause until the New Year. Now is actually the perfect time to lean in to whatever you want to create. To start believing, being, and carrying certainty in all that is to come and that's truly what coaching creates, right?

So without further ado sit back, relax, and enjoy this podcast episode with Rachel Josefina.

I'm super excited because I am joined by another friend client, performer, coach extraordinaire, Rachel Josefina, and I'm so excited to have her on the podcast because she'll tell you in her own words, but she has literally changed her whole entire life since we began our work together. And it's been so fun to witness and so extraordinary to see someone embody these ideas in such a full way.

So welcome to the podcast, Rachel. Yay. Thank you so much for having me. Um, I'm so honored to be here and to be talking to you and to be your client and to be your friend and like to be in your world. I think it's so perfect the way we met. I actually had you on my podcast and then it was like, Let's yeah, let's work together. Like you offered to you were like, there's just no reason that you shouldn't be like, so incredibly successful. Like, let's get on a call. And let's go. And I'm just so so grateful is like, feels like an understatement, but so grateful that that happened and that you came into my life and I somehow found you on Instagram and it just all worked out because, as Kelli said, my whole life has changed since that moment.

Like literally everything - from like financially to professionally as a coach, professionally as a performer, to my relationship, to friends, like, everything, everything has changed, and it's kind of crazy to think about that. But yeah. I'm like, I know, is there anything else that you want to I mean, I gave you a little bit of an introduction. But do you want to just tell people about yourself in your own words? 

Oh, yeah, absolutely. So I'm Rachel Josefina. I am a okay. This is going to be interesting, but so I normally say that I'm a mindset coach, but I've been toying with saying that I'm a life coach. And so hello everyone. I'm Rachel. I'm a life coach and I'm a life coach for artists who helps people find their worthiness in themselves versus in the industry. And really like allowing people to let go of the hustle, to break rules, and just like get what they want. But not only get what they want, but in the way that they want it. Like that is my specialty, um, as a coach. And then I'm a freaking triple threat leading lady who is so excited to make her principal debut in something. 

And yeah, what else? I absolutely love nature. It is the number one thing that brings me back to myself. It's very interesting. Something like looking back in years past, I knew that I loved nature. I knew that I loved of nature. Something about it was so amazing to me. I remember taking a picture on like, you know, those digital cameras, like so many years ago, and still nature is the thing that brings me back to.

Like divine perfection. It's just like all my inner critic softens. Every single bit of judgment softens. I'm like my truest self in nature. So it's fun to see that even before I was doing this work, it really was my natural state to just be so peaceful in nature. So if you follow me on Instagram or anything, you'll always see pictures of nature and the sky and.

Yeah, I love that so much. And also to say, like, I love something you just said was that it really is your natural state. And I actually think that's true for all of us, maybe not specifically with nature. But like, our natural state is joy, is abundance, is love, is excitement for life, and this work really does always bring you back to you, right? In being a client, in being a coach, like in just having the experience of taking yourself to those depths. It's always coming back to self. 

I think that's one of the common misconceptions about coaching is that it's, you know, it's someone outside of you telling you what to do, rather than having the space to really decide for yourself what you want. Decide for yourself what is true, but just to really explore and have that space facilitated for you is such a gift. 

Yeah. And I mean, I can understand why it's a misconception, because at the beginning of my coaching journey, I was taught to create courses or to create packages that was like, let me teach you how to live your life. Or at least that's how I understood it in my brain. So I can understand where the misconception comes from, because even as a coach at the beginning of my journey, it was like, I was telling people that there was a right way to live life. And, like, that was one of the beautiful things of having you as a coach and seeing you coach me. Of being like, oh, okay, interesting. There isn't actually any right way. And I think I had that within my coaching there. It was like I dabbled in it, but I really do think I misunderstood coaching even as a coach at the beginning. So it's like understandable that people people misunderstand, right? Because there are coaches out there like me, when I was first starting out that do think there is a right way and a better way to be living their life. 

And so it's like. It's not coming back to self. And so I'm so grateful that I have you and the community of coaches that you've introduced me to that really is like, no, you are, as you say, like your highest authority, it's ultimately your choice. Like I'm just here as your coach offering things and you can try them on. You can take them if you like them and like, whatever lights you up and really hits you, like that verbiage, that want that desire, that's going to be the way that you want to live your life, because it's going to be coming from you, not coming from me. 

Mmm. So good. Okay, Rach. So let's get into some of the juicy... I don't know, because you really have changed so much of your life. I'm curious. How did it feel in the beginning? Did it feel for you like you knew there were things you wanted to change or was there some other experience you were having that brought you to coaching? 

Coaching with you or coaching specifically? Coaching with me. Yeah. Okay. So, or if there's a, if there's another answer there, like we can talk about both. We have all the time. Yeah. I mean, coaching specifically, like when someone offered to coach me, I definitely was at like the depths of the depths. I felt like very, very broken physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. I felt like I didn't belong. I didn't know where I was going in my life. Like I really coaching found me at like the depths of, you know, one season of life. And so I had like done that. Started to change things, created a business, all the things. 

But then when you were introduced in my life, I felt like I was making change. I was meeting better and better partners. I did have a business. I felt very strongly about my business and who I helped. I definitely felt lost as a performer, though. And I think I was like on the slow growth and was like, Oh, maybe it's just going to take a really long time. And so when you were like, no, this could happen now. Like things could happen quickly and then also like question that you asked me on the consult, was like imagine your life a year from now and you're exactly the same and that was like the most devastating thing to think about. Not that I was in a bad place, but it was like, oh my gosh. I'm not loving where I am right now. I can't imagine being here a year from now, like definitely that was like things need to change. Like I want to grow. I want things to feel even better. Um, especially in my business and honestly, especially in my relationships, which I feel like were the two biggest things besides family relationships as well, that were like rocky. And I was like, I would really love for those things to be different. 

So it felt, it felt like you opened a door that I didn't know was even there. Like that didn't even, I didn't even know it could be there. And then you were like, Hey, by the way, there's this door. I can help you open it. And I was like, yeah, let's fucking do that. 

You know, I just got like full fucking body chills, Rach, because I think that very much mirrors how I felt about my life. Like it wasn't necessarily, again, I think this is another common misconception. I mean, you can enter your coaching journey wherever you are, and that's magical and beautiful. And it's not always when you're at the depths of something really heavy or hard or big. Actually, it's really fun to even expand and realize there's a totally different door there when things are great. And you're like, what else is there available to me? And again, like similarly, I feel like I've been very open and transparent about the fact that my life is completely different. And all of that started because of working with a coach and realizing it could just be different. It could be that much more. And not from an insufficient place, but from like a really truly abundant space, right? Of like, this can just be better. This doesn't have to stay the same. It doesn't have to be so crunchy. 

And so what do you feel like has been the biggest change that you've witnessed in yourself? And maybe there's like one, I don't know, maybe there's one core thing. Maybe there's a few different things, but I think that when we change one area of our life, it naturally carries over because we're different. Like, even if we're working on something in your performing career, again, it's inherently going to change your relationships or vice versa. Looking and investigating how you're relating to people is also most definitely going to change how you're showing up and relating to your career. So... Is there one thing that stands out to you as far as, like, being the catalyst for your change and your growth? 

Um, I mean, kind of circling back to what I was saying before with, like, being a coach starting out and believing that there was a right way to live life. I think, honestly, I mean, and it's still, like, right now, in our coaching call the other day, like, I'm reaching a new level of understanding that even more, which is wild, that there's like a whole nother level of that and I'm excited to see what's on the other side. But really, I think it was that like other people get to have different life, different opinions, different ways of being, and that it's just not a problem.

 So like, they're not being a right way and that it doesn't have to be a problem that that's that way. And so all of a sudden I don't have to fix myself. I don't have to fix them. They don't have to do it any differently and I can just love them where they are or in a romantic sense or in a professional sense if I don't like It's not a problem that it's the way that it is, but I actually don't have to choose to engage if I don't want to, and I can do that from a really, really loving place. Mmm. Of like, this is just not what I choose for myself, but it's not because I think that the way you're doing it is a problem or not the right way. That's just not a yes for me. And like, I send you so much love. Because like you're on your own journey and that's incredible.

And that honestly changed the way that I showed up to auditions because I wasn't coming from an entitled sense of this is what I should be auditioning for. It also really impacted my family life. Because I feel like I've never been more loving and understanding and supportive to my family and been able to let them do that to me as well and not feeling like I'm an outsider or like I'm different in a bad way or a better way. Right? There's no like judgment there. And in relationships where I could really just own like this is what I want in a partner and it's not a problem if you're not that. And like you're not going to be my partner and that's okay. But again, it's like I don't have to change you because you're doing it the wrong way to be my partner. I don't have to change you to so that you can be in my life like it's totally fine. You can just be a filter and you don't have to be in my life and I can still send you love. It just doesn't have to be a problem. 

Rach. So good. It is really like removing so much judgment. Right. And I think that's one of the biggest things is like, we don't realize that when we're judging others so harshly. And I mean, I feel like I also went through a phase where I was like, Oh, this is, and it's like, I think it comes from love and it comes from the right place. And it's like excitement for what we're learning. Like when I first started learning about the Law of Attraction, when I first started learning about all of these things that were changing my life, it comes from this enthusiastic place of like, no, no, no, wait, it can be so delicious. 

But we don't realize in the beginning, especially when we're like starting to do this work and we're, we're really at the, the edges or at the beginning stage, we don't realize how much then wrongness we're adding on or wrongness for self if we're not in high vibrations or if we're not in a feeling good place. And so, I do think it's part of the learning to like be willing to go to that place and like also then removing that wrongness. It just creates a whole, like you said, a whole different depth where it's not like this is the right way and you're doing it wrong. Instead, like this is just something that's really helpful for me. This is the lens that I want to live my life through. And if you don't, that's, that's like totally fine. But like, this is where I am. Like, I think that's so, so powerful. Because, yeah, I think the point I was making was that when we are creating that filter of judgment for others, really, we're doing the same for ourselves.

And I think that comes up a lot for people when they start doing this work and they start seeing results and they start feeling like, Oh my God, I love things. And then our like hints of perfectionism comes in and our hint of like, well, I gotta do it this way so that the Universe responds to me. It unintentionally becomes very conditional, right? And I know we've talked about this and worked through it. Do you have anything to add to that? To someone who maybe finds himself in that place of like, Ooh, yeah, I am being a little critical of myself and others, or I am expecting myself to be perfect at my vibration or perfect at my thoughts or perfect at managing my mind. What has been helpful for you to release that? 

Yeah, um, I think the first question of like, if you were perfect at that, if you were holding what you thought ideally was like the best vibration forever and never got away from it, like, what do you think would happen? And is like that actually true? Is that the only way to get that? And the answer is no, right? It's like, I actually just had this like really clear, because it's funny we're talking about because I'm going through like a whole 'nother layer again of this, but just like at such a deeper level. So it's very interesting because I'm like, oh yeah, I'm not at the beginning. And all these stories from the beginning are coming up again in a new way. So it's like, okay, great. And so I just wrote down in my journal actually last night that I was believing that I needed to shoot off, like Abraham says, rockets of desire at every single moment of the day. 

So much extra work. So much work. Oh my gosh. So much effort. And I'm like, Oh, I wonder why I was so tired. Um, but really like when you go to a sandwich shop and you ask for what you want, They're making the sandwich. They're gonna do it. Like, you've put in your order. They're, they're making it. You don't need to stand there and every single second remind them this is what you want. Hey, by the way, I actually want a sandwich. Light mayo, toasted, whatever. Like, you don't need to be standing with them every single moment as they're putting the bread in the toaster, as they're putting the meat on. Like, That's the universe lining it up. You don't need to be telling them every single moment of the way that that's what you want. That's so fucking annoying. And they're like, they're going to do it, but it's the same thing with the universe. Like, I don't need to be shooting off rockets of desire and have the perfect vibration all the time. Like you tell the universe that that's what you want. And it's already getting to work, lining it up for you.

So then like, it's your job to just be human, enjoy your life, like, invite in flow, invite in freedom, and honestly, I wrote down like, feel good in whatever way that looks like. So that might be feeling good in something totally different. Because it's just like, yeah, like going back to the beginning, our natural state is joy and abundance and freedom and flow. And so if you're not finding that in one area, then like, it's fine. The universe already knows that you want that. Like, Just go enjoy your life however else you can because that's our number one job is to just like enjoy this life that we have and that includes like the stuff that feels shitty sometimes too. Yes. Here we go. Here's a lot of lessons. Can't wait to learn. 

Yes, it's like I always say like let's just be willing to see the shit and be in the shit. Because on the other side of it, like, that's all the golden nuggets that's creating our next breakthrough. And we quite literally can't experience the highs and the height of our highs if we're unwilling to feel the depths of our lows. It is a mirror image of the range and the capacity that we have to feel. Whether it's on the perceived negative end of the spectrum or perceived positive end of the spectrum. 

And I think you brought up a really Great point, Rach, is that at every level, we're going to have to go through the same growth. And I think that's one of the things that surprises people, or I've, I've watched myself and clients feel entitled to feeling good. And it's so interesting. I was actually having a conversation with one of my coach friends. She's in Germany. And I asked her that question because it had been coming up a lot for me and for my clients and we were peer coaching one day and she thought that was so fascinating. Like, why are you entitled to feeling good? And she was saying that in German, they didn't even have like a direct translation for that idea. Like she was trying to explain it to her husband and it's so interesting how we get to a certain place and we just have like a thought error that it's going to be like, set it and forget it. And we're never going to have to go through those same thoughts or fears. 

And so something that I witness a lot, too, is like then all of a sudden it'll bring up these questions of like, well, why am I feeling this again? Like, why am I having these thoughts again? And all of a sudden the thoughts and the feelings that we have become this problem instead of like, oh, of course. Hello again. Of course, you're here. I'm going through another like up level. I'm going through another quantum leap. I'm going through the next level of expansion or growth. Of course, if I'm stepping into that portal, if I'm stepping into becoming the next level of myself, of course, these things are going to arise. Then we like can, I think, bypass and not bypass, maybe that's not the word, but I sometimes call it like "solving for things we don't need to solve." 

It's like we actually don't need to like go to the depths of like, why is this happening? Why? And like try to make meaning of it. Like oh yeah, I'm going through growth. Of course these thoughts are going to come up. Not a problem going back to what you're saying. It's not a problem like welcome. You're here I can hold space for you to be here and I'm still gonna keep moving towards my growth. There's like a different relationship that you create with those thoughts with those beliefs with those questions That's no longer like this is a sign of me not moving towards what I want versus like this is actually perfectly timed and is a reflection that I'm moving towards that I want. Otherwise, these thoughts wouldn't be here. Right? 

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. I mean, because it's like, if you wanted your life to stay the same and not grow, then you might not actually reach that next level of, of those stories coming back, right? Because it's like, we're just staying the same. And staying at the same amount of comfort and all the things, which is what happens. It's like the ignorance is bliss, right? Like if you don't know, um, that there's a next level or the next place to go, then like, you're going to be fine here and amazing. And I was thinking of this analogy the other day that like becomes more clear and clear every time, because this is such a thing within coaching and within personal growth. Right. And I witness it in myself and in clients all the time of like, I should be over this. Right. We've talked about that so many times. I should be over this. Like, well, I'm having to do this again.

But it's like, if you're going to the gym, right. And you're doing like lunges. Okay. And you're working on it with a 10 pound weight. And it's like, at first you're working on your balance and you're working on your core and it's like, feels really hard. Then, once you've been doing it for a while, the 10 pounds are going to feel really great. But then of course you're not like, okay, great. I never have to do lunges again. And you also like don't stay at the 10 pounds a lot of the time because you're wanting to grow.

So you're like, okay, let me pick up some 15s. So when you pick up the 15s, you're like, then going to have to deal with it feeling hard again and feeling different and like potentially working on your balance. And guess what? That's exactly what you went through before. But like, it makes so much sense to people when they're doing PRs, right. And they're doing like heavy weight lifting or pushing their bodies to the next level. It makes sense that they would have to go through that it's like hard again when they pick up hard, bigger weights, but that's the exact same thing. Like when you're picking up quote unquote, bigger weights, because you're getting to a new goal, you're up leveling to a new identity, like, of course, those things that you went through at the beginning are going to come back again. And so I just feel like it's been such a tangible, um, analogy that I've been using for myself and my clients because I'm like, Oh, this happens all the time. Like how can we visually see it? So it's like, yeah, you're just picking up heavier weights. So of course it's going to feel hard again, but then you're going to do it over and over again and feel easy. And then you're going to pick up even heavier weights. And of course, again, it's going to feel hard again because it's different. It's new. So, and like, That's it. It's not a problem. It's accepted. Like, you signed up for this. 

Yes. Rach, that is such a fucking amazing analogy. Genius. Genius. And it's like, it's so true, right? Like, we actively sign up for it. And I've been saying, another thing I've been saying recently is like, when you increase and allow, wait, actually, what have I been saying? I'm like, I've been saying this so often. I'm like, I don't even know what the fuck I'm saying. But in order to, in order to lessen the resistance, you have to be willing toincrease the allowance. That is not what I've been saying. The willingness. Thank you. Yeah, yeah. You know what I've been saying. 

To all you listening on the podcast, this is my morning brain. Ha ha ha. Yeah. Increasing the allowance helps you to lessen the resistance. But only when you increase the allowance will the resistance soften. We got there. Yeah, you ask me and like us all the time, like, what are you not willing to feel at the moment? Right. Or it's like, I'm scared of this. And it's like, okay, great. Can you be willing to feel that? Because then when you're willing to feel that, then, then you're willing to feel that. And what's... then there's no fear, right? It's like, okay, well, I'm willing to feel that. I'm willing to put myself in a place to experience that. Great. Let's move forward and go do that because now I'm willing. So it's not, it doesn't feel as hard.

So good Rach. Okay. I feel like I really want to get into some of the specifics of your unique journey while we have a few minutes left, because I just think it's so fun how you've created contracts through Instagram. You've like booked shows without an agent. I feel like your journey is just so beautifully, like you said, your journey, your own unique way. You manifested your dream partner. You have grown your business to making lots of money. I feel like all of that has really shifted. Cause we've worked together one on one, but also in THE PARADIGM, I feel like there was a huge self concept shift that happened last round. And so, could you give everyone listening just a little bit of insight into some of the the magical things that are Rachel Josefina?

Yeah. Um, okay. Yeah. So starting out, I think the, one of the biggest things as a performer is I was a non union, non represented actor when Kelli and I started working one on one and I hadn't auditioned for anything. I was feeling very lost. And in 2022, I was just like, okay, this is going to be fun. And I think it'd be really fun to like find things out on Instagram and not have to like scour the internet. And then of course I opened my Instagram and I saw that a theater in California was doing In The Heights. And I was like, Oh my gosh, I have to do this. And from that moment, I was just like, yeah, I'm going to do this. And it was the first thing I auditioned for post pandemic, and I got the job. I booked the job as Ensemble/understudy Carla, and then I ended up getting to be a dance captain as well, on a contract as a non equity member with an equity contract.

It was just like, that shouldn't happen, right? Like breaking all the rules. Yeah. Air quotes shouldn't happen. It's not a normal thing that normally happens. Yes. Right. And so it's like, how could I have ever thought that that was going to happen and what magic that was. Um, and I ended up booking two more contracts. I booked On Your Feet at Papermill Playhouse. I booked 42nd Street at Riverside Theater, again, non union, non represented actor. via self tape, like all of these via self tape, everyone, like it is possible. There is magic, the rule that like, oh, no one watches your self tape. That's just a thought because I booked three jobs in 2022, non union, non represented actor via self tape. 

Like it's possible. So good. Um, and Then recently, I've been really stepping into, like, I am a leading lady. I play roles and that was one of the biggest identity shifts from last, um, round of THE PARADIGM to this round of the paradigm. It was like, oh yes, this is who I am. This is what I do. And like, really stepping into that, which has been really fun.

And then in my business, I wait, Rach, and you also joined Equity. Oh, yes, I did. Yes. I also joined Equity, which I really gave myself the freedom. And you like helped coach me through it every step of the way of really allowing it to be a yes when it was a yes. And I kept not having a reason except for that my body wasn't telling me that it was a yes and like really allowing that to be enough. That like when it was gonna be a yes, it was gonna be a yes And then when it was a yes, it was a Fuck Yes. Oh, yeah. I just joined and it was so easy and I am so happy that I joined. It is the best decision ever. I think also having the fun thoughts of like, I love paying my dues. Like, they're so inexpensive. It's like, nothing. You know? And like, what an amazing, I would happily pay dues so that I can manage my calendar. And so that I get to be guaranteed to be seen. Like, I'm just so happy to pay that. 

And... Which kind of leads me into the next thing of my relationship with money has changed drastically. Like when I tell you that at the beginning of coaching, I was like on the side of the road, having a mental, emotional breakdown about money with Kelli. So like, feeling like I was gonna just die. Like gonna die. Um, and then on the other side to be here to be paying more than I've ever paid in rent, to be so excited and grateful to be able to pay my fucking bills, to just to have like more money in my bank account than I've ever had, to be making more in my business and really to just like, enjoy my money and not feel restricted. It is like night and day my relationship with money and I am just so excited about that. 

And then my business, I went from making $1,000 in one whole year in coaching to now I've so far this year, I've made $17,000. Woo. And the year is not even over. So good Rach. Yeah. So I just, and then like my family, I went through one of the, actually the hardest thing with my sisters and with my mom of like not talking to my sisters and choosing that for myself and like having my own back in the decision to have that separation and being so grateful now for that and being able to again, like really choose myself and have my own back and know that it was hard and know that it was like the best thing that could have ever happened. Because now I have the best relationship with my sister. The most loving, free, supportive, fun, like, relationship that I've always wanted with her, that we just like, we had to go through that and being able to go through that with confidence that I had my own back and that I got to choose me along the way and that there was like a win win situation that was possible was huge. And that is just incredible. Like I just really wouldn't be here with my family the way that I am without coaching and specifically like without Kelli as my coach and so I'm just so grateful for you, because I yeah, I, like, I have the family relationship that I've always wanted that I just didn't see how it could be possible. And just like opening, again, opening the door to see like, this is possible. Let's go, like, let's walk through it together was amazing. Because I couldn't, I, I just couldn't have done it by myself. Like, I just couldn't have done it by myself, and I'm so grateful to have had you there. 

And then, in my romantic relationship, I be I went through, uh, Great relation, good, great, good relationship, but like, I became the best partner ever. Like week after week, coming to Kelli, crying, being like, why can't I just believe that he's all in and just like learning to choose my own experience and like be the partner that shows up the way that I want to, no matter what. And like being the partner that takes care of their emotional well being first and doesn't blame the other person for the way that I'm feeling. That has the ability to pause when I'm triggered by them and like literally pull out my journal and be like, I need to pause for a second and pull out my journal, talk it through myself, and to be able to have the tools to do that so that I can ask for what I want from a place of desire, but not from a place of need and like not being okay. Right. Not asking from a place of insufficiency. 

That I went through that relationship, was able to get through the breakup so clearly, and so um, easily, honestly, right, like had all the feelings and then was like, yeah, I know that my future husband is coming. And then go through dating so clearly being like, my husband is going to be here and then meeting the absolute love of my life and truly like every single day, I cried the other day about it. Like we're a year in and I'm like still just sitting here in awe, crying so grateful that like, that this person loves me for who I am, that I created him, and that like, who he is to me, I am to him too. That was like the biggest breakthrough, is that like, he is my safe place, he is like, everything, but I, it's like so new for me, but, but I'm that for him too. Like, I'm his safe place and that was like, oh my gosh, this is the best thing ever. So, so yeah, those are all the things that I've created. 

I'm like sitting here. It's just amazing. If you like saw the video, well one, thank you so much for sharing all that so openly and honestly and vulnerably. Um. I'm just like sitting here beaming, because it's like literal magic. And it is like, it really does, I think, help when you've had a coach that has walked through these things firsthand, like almost every single thing you mentioned, like I also had to walk through on my own for my own life. Right. So it is like working with a coach that has created the results that you desire, I think is so magical, because it's a clear path. And it's also like, I got you. Like, I know what it feels like to feel like ass. And on the other side of it really is everything that you desire. As long as you're willing, I mean, you go back to the allowance and the willingness to feel. As long as you're willing to feel the discomfort, the breakthroughs on the other side.

And I think I'm just like, I don't know. Yeah. I just want to celebrate everything that you've created and what a powerful example you are for what's possible. Because I think every performer can feel this way. Every human can feel this way. As long as you choose and decide there's more, right? Like they're, they're, and I think the people who want to do this work, especially if you're listening to this podcast, I already believe you're one of those people, right? But like, it really is trusting the inkling and the intuition, that internal nudge from your Highest Self that's like, I want more and that's okay. I want more. I desire more. And it's possible. When that's your belief, we can go there, right? 

Okay, Rach, I want to honor our time and I don't know. If there was one thing, there's never just one thing. I mean, people can engage with your work as a coach on Instagram and connect with you, but I'm curious, like, for, for someone who's listening, especially because THE PARADIGM is an early enrollment and we're getting ready to enroll for the next round in January 2024, is there anything specific that you would say to someone who's considering joining THE PARADIGM?

Mm. Yeah. Um, do it. Join it. I mean, yeah, this is my second round. I'm so, so happy that I'm a part of it, being able to have, like, the specific container of the one on one and the group, I think is just so genius, because you get both, you get the community, actually meeting members of THE PARADIGM, like, in person at auditions was just so much fun, and like, Ai and I were just so excited, like, I love having you in my community. We both just got to where you're Like look at each other and be like, I know what you're going through.  And like, we get to share so freely our wins and our losses. Like, this is a community where you get to win together, which I think is not a community that happens very often in the performing arts. Right. It's like very safe to lose together and to be, to commiserate? Is that the right word? In the like, woe is me. But when you can really win together, and really like celebrate every single bit, and have people who are going to remind you who the fuck you are, without being scared that it's going to take away something from them, that is where you find gold. And that's what's in this room, is everyone in this room is there to celebrate and hype you up in whatever way that like that looks like for you. And it doesn't have anything to do with the other person. Like we're just really here to celebrate your journey again. It's like everyone's journey is so unique. No one's going through the same thing yet, the coaching that you get on the group coaching, it applies everywhere, right? Like it's just amazing. So I would say join. Because it's a magical room where, yeah, that's unique to the performing arts, it's just, there isn't a space like this, so you want to be here because that's where you get to have everything. 

Not just a great performing career. Like not just a great performing career. We're not here to teach you how to be a great performer. Like yes, you learn that too, because being a human becomes like being a performer. It's one in the same, but like how to have the life that you want. And the career that you want and everything. Like it's not just one thing. 

Thank you for sharing that Rach. Of course. Okay, and then aside from the paradigm, is there anything any one last thing that's on your spirit, on your heart today, that you'd like to leave people with Mmm. Um, I think just what I always love to come back to is that you just always have a choice. And I think  it's easy to get stuck in, well, this is just the way that it is, or there's no way out, or whatever it is. But it's like, when you really come back to, there always is a choice. You're just like, I find I'm so much more empowered when I'm believing, you know what, I really do have a choice. And then possibility like comes from there, right? But it's like, you have to be aware that there even is a choice to begin with before you can see what those choices are. Um, so yeah, just remembering, like, in everything, like, you just always have a choice. 

So good. Rachel, what a treat to have you on the podcast. Thank you so much for making time for sharing your heart, your experience, your wisdom. And yeah, I freaking love you. I love you too. Thank you for having me on. Of course. All right, everyone. I'll meet you back here for another episode. 

Hey, I want to invite you to get started, because if this is blowing your mind, imagine the impact of when we actually work together. If you're committed to loving your life as an actor, singer, or dancer, come join us inside of The Performers Plan. You get lifetime access to the program, the community and high quality coaching for the rest of your career. Go to kelliyoungmanwellness.com/theperformersplan to join us now. I'll see you inside.