Ep 57: Manifesting and Receiving Love

In this episode, we're talking about manifesting love and feeling worthy of receiving the kind of romantic love that you desire. It's been coming up for clients and it's been my recent experience, so we're getting into it today. You ready? Let's do it.

Hello. You are listening to the Love Your Life as a Performer podcast. I'm Kelli Youngman and I am The Life Coach for Performers. I help actors, singers, and dancers love themselves and their lives way more. So keep listening to learn how you can love your life, both on and off the stage.

Hello, hello and welcome back to Episode 57 of The Love Your Life As a Performer podcast, I am looking out the window at a beautiful blue sky in New York City with an amazing tree outside of my window. And I cannot help but feel so in awe and grounded and just so alive. Have you guys been feeling it or is it just me? And the fact that I am just so in love with my life.

And here's the thing I've been thinking about this a lot, because if you asked me a year ago, if I loved my life, actually pause, I feel like if you asked me a year ago,  if I loved my life, I remember that in the fall, I was constantly having the thought, I should be happier. And it was really interesting because I was getting coached on that a lot. Like I was having the thought, I should be happier. And if you listen to the podcast, if you follow me on Instagram, you know that I am always saying that shoulds are soggy, but it was really interesting to just acknowledge this dissonance inside of myself and to be able to acknowledge that something just wasn't quite in alignment.

There were pieces of my life that were no longer a fit. And in hindsight, I can see that. But when I was in it, I just knew that something needed to change and I wasn't quite sure what it was. Um, I don't think I had the clarity that, you know, I have now looking back and it's just so interesting. And so I think the reason why this is coming up right now is because I've been in so much space and ease and flow with myself, with my life, with my business, with my career as a performer. All of it's been feeling really delicious.

I mean, I will say I also have a human brain. So I've been noticing that some thoughts have been coming up and like upper limit things, which we're going to get into today on this episode. And. It's just so good. It's so good. I'm so grateful that a year ago I was sitting in discomfort and that I had the awareness that that was happening, right? I'm so grateful that I went through some months that were really hard and I consider myself a person that leans positive. Like, I definitely feel like it's easy for me to find the good most of the time unless I get into a, a place or a thing that's a little bit er, like a little sticky, like I feel like for the most part, I do lean positive.

I think I've created a personality, I've trained myself over many, many years, because I don't think this is always my way of being. I've said that before, too. And I tend to lean positive now. And so it's interesting to have the awareness when things aren't feeling good and just acknowledging it and knowing that on the other side of the discomfort is everything that you're looking for. Whether it is in your career, relationships, financially, um, with your own worthiness, right? Like no matter what area of your life you are looking to make a change, I just want to like really honor that it's part of the process to actually go through the trials, the tribulations, all of it.

Like, I know this is not new information for any of you, but I feel like it warrants saying again. Because it just keeps being a really clear lived in experience for me over and over and over again. And the depths of it, my understanding of it as it continues to expand, allows me to really shift through things and work through things and process things and release things at such an exponential rate, because I've done the work. Because I've taken the time to get to know myself and my cycles, I've gotten to know how I personally respond to things and I've invested time, energy, and love into myself to really become so intimate and aware and close with myself.

And so if you're looking from the outside, I just want to offer that the reason why it might look like things are happening so easily for me, which sometimes like truly I'm like, Oh shit, like life is amazing and my life is so wild and I keep manifesting things that are even better than I imagined. Like I do believe that's happening at exponential rates and only as a result of being willing to slow down and be in the shit.

I've been coaching clients through this a lot this week in terms of really honoring where you are and knowing that no matter how messy and mucky it feels, that when you are willing to commit to the growth, commit to the work, commit to the inquiry and the curiosity of understanding yourself, understanding your triggers, understanding what you're getting out of things, right? Like understanding why you're, you're allowing yourself to keep choosing what you're choosing only then. When you aren't judging it, when you aren't resisting it, when you aren't shaming yourself for it, only then can you actually make a change. And yeah, making a change is scary as fuck. A hundred percent.

And like, I really do want to shout out my coaches because. I went through some of the hardest times of my life last year in sitting with what I was allowing to happen in my life and knowing that it needed to change and knowing that I could be happier, but I wasn't. Like, I feel like my coaches really navigated me through that growth and held space for me and my emotions and you know, encouraged me and gave me clarity when I wanted to defend the things that were happening, when I wanted to justify why I was allowing things in my life to be the way that they were, right? Like my coaches really challenged me to love myself more than I knew I could love myself. And I hope, it is my mission and my commitment as a coach to be that space for my clients. To always be inviting you to believe that anything and everything that you want to receive is possible.

And it's really fun. I'm laughing so hard at myself right now. The fact that I'm crying and I'm like, it's really fun. But no, these are like the most amazing tears. It is so fun to be on the other side and to see the ways that I've expanded what I believe I am worthy of receiving. And I continue to do that. And I continue to bump up against challenges and I continue to expand. Right. And like that is the process. And so that's kind of what I wanted to talk about on today's episode, right?

The process of expansion, the process of expanding your worthiness. It's so uncomfortable and only when you are starting to believe in your own worthiness, not even believe, but maybe the more appropriate term is recognize. When you really recognize, acknowledge, and celebrate, and sort of raise the bar for what you believe is available to you, you will be surprised at how quickly the universe wants to surprise and delight you in presenting anything and everything you thought would make you happy.

And as I'm saying that, I don't even know if that feels like the most accurate thing, but like how quickly the universe wants to give you everything that you desire, right? I mean, I do think that we want everything that we want in life because of how we think it's going to make us feel, right? Like that's why we do everything in life. And, we always get what we want or better. Like we literally always get what we want or better. And if you're in a moment where you're looking around you're like wait a second I don't want any of this shit. That's when you get to invite in some loving curiosity and radical responsibility.

Because where are you not yet believing that good things are coming for you? Where are you not yet believing that you're the kind of person who gets what they desire? Where are you not believing that everything you've been asking for is on its way to you right now? And I will tell you with certainty that the person I'm seeing now, my partner, is quite literally everything, every single thing that I've desired in a partner.

It's wild. I like didn't know that it existed, but when I look back, I can see that I was using my own Emotional Map. I was meditating, I was masturbating. I was aligning to the frequency of love over and over and over again. Love for myself. In a way that made me a vibrational match to receive the kind of romantic love that I wanted to experience. I was doing so many different meditations and like really intentionally deciding who I wanted to be in the world over and over and over again. Which allowed me to keep tuning myself to the frequency of what I wanted to receive.

Like, it just makes so much sense when I look back, even though, like, a lot of the times I'm like, Holy shit, this came out of nowhere. This happened so quickly. But really, I've been pre paving. this relationship for my entire life, right? Like every single thing that has been what I didn't want or been sort of close to what I wanted. Every time that it wasn't what I wanted, I was sending out signals and clarity of what I did want, right?

There's so much value in experiencing what you don't want because automatically you're Identifying and creating what you do want, like the universe freaking hears what you are saying and how quickly it comes to you is how quickly you align to it energetically and emotionally, right? Like that is the work. Becoming a match to the things you desire, even before they happen.

And so when we talk about being in worthiness. And I actually think this is fun to talk about. I was going to talk about something else today. Isn't that like always what I say? I know a lot of clients have been going through and getting excited about dating and opening themselves up to romantic love and wanting to feel worthy of being in a relationship that they desire. And so I did not even know that this is gonna go this way, but we're going here.

Is like, based on everything I just said about my own experience, right? It's the same for our performing careers BTW, it's literally the same. And when it comes to being in a frequency of worthiness, it really does go back to identifying what you desire, which honestly is already so clear, like the universe knows, but maybe you haven't consciously given it time and space and maybe the reason you haven't given it time and space yet is because you haven't considered it's available to you, right?

Again, I love being able to draw the parallels between performing and personal life and dating and auditioning. I just think it's all the same. Like I've talked about this over and over and over again with clients because usually we'll like have that frequency figured out in one area of our life and we haven't quite translated it to the other yet. Only because we have more resistance in one area or not. And so if you are looking for a romantic partner, if you're looking for someone to share your life with, the first thing you want to do is start by believing it's available.

I hear this all the time. And again, it's, it's the same with performing and dating, but I hear so many times like, Oh, dating, Oh, people, people suck. One of my coaches, she always goes, No, you love people. You love people. You want to help people. She says it because she's a coach for life coaches. And I want you to imagine that if you are in the energetic space of like, Ugh, dating is so exhausting. No one is looking for a serious relationship. No one out there like is interested in me or interested in what I want, like all the good men or women or humans are taken, right? Like just notice what your thoughts are around dating.

If you're in a relationship that you love, amazing. Like I feel like I could do a whole other podcast about that. But if you're calling something new in and you aren't seeing it in your life, you have to stop and get curious about your thoughts. And again, if you are not currently dating and you're currently seeking a job, right? Like the same is true. If you're currently seeking more money, the same is true. You cannot receive what you do not believe is available to you. Because you are the creator. And if you are constantly believing and creating a story where it's not available to you, you won't even go to the place where you're actually aligning to the frequency. Whether it's a Broadway show, signing with an agent, creating the love of your life, finding your dream apartment, literally whatever it is, you have to start with the belief before result.

Like, hello, and if you're like, wait, what's belief before result, welcome to my world. This is what I do. I help people believe in what they want, even without evidence, even before it exists. Because that is the only way that you can create anything and everything that you want.

Okay. So to come back to dating, remember you have to stop. And look at your thoughts, gain awareness of your thoughts. I actually just created an entire new module for my programs about Self Coaching. And this is one of the tools and the practices that we use. It's a thought download, getting really clear with what your brain is already thinking and believing. Right. And so if your thoughts about dating are the ones that I mentioned before that have no space for possibility, no space that you could meet anyone just randomly at a party, which, by the way, that is how I met the man that I love. At a party, unexpected, wasn't looking for it, and... I'm now in the best relationship of my life.

Like if you don't have the capacity yet to believe that that could happen to you. I just want you to ask yourself, why not? Why couldn't you meet the love of your life today? Why does your brain think that's not possible? Like it just would be really interesting to sit with and get curious about that. And then, I think it's really fun to get a little specific. It's like, how do I want to feel in my ideal relationship? How will I feel? And when you identify your Emotional Map. If you haven't listened to that episode yet, go back, identify the emotional map, and then start feeling that way today, right?

The way that we feel worthy to receive the things that we desire. No matter what it is, is by practicing that belief, practicing the thought that you are worthy and really starting to unwind and untangle why your brain thinks you are not worthy, why your brain thinks that it couldn't happen to you. This is where you get to be in the practice of what I shared that the journey that I've gone through myself, the journey that I help my clients go through is like really, really getting clear with why am I not allowing myself to feel loved? Why am I not allowing myself to believe that I am lovable?

I think that's been one of my biggest breakthroughs and one of my biggest growths, lessons over the past couple of years is like really, really being willing to see my own shit, to look at it, to love myself through it, to hold space and understanding and compassion for myself as I continue to deepen and expand my self love and my self trust.

Our experience in our lives, in our careers, all of it. All of it comes from us and our thoughts and what we allow ourselves to believe is possible. And so today, this week, I invite you to get curious. What are you believing is available to you? You don't even need to know the how. You just need to decide how you want to feel, decide who you want to be, who you want to be in your ideal relationship. And it doesn't mean that you still won't have human thoughts come up because believe you me, now that I'm experiencing more love than I knew was possible, I am fucking hitting my own upper limits too.

I was telling my clients in The Paradigm this week that there is definitely my own upper limits happening. And when I'm ready to share more about it, I will. And I'll do a whole episode about that. And our worthiness is really just our own decision. And actually, I don't even know if I stand by that, but our worthiness is inherent and what we allow ourselves to receive is a decision. It might be uncomfortable. It might be uncomfortable to be in the lack of having love. And I want to just come on here and report that it's also uncomfortable to be in the presence and respect. receiving of love. It can be equally uncomfortable. And no matter where you go, there you are. It's you and your own brain. And I want to just Invite you to believe again, that anything and everything that you want is possible.

So just get clear, have some fun. What would it feel like to be in your dream relationship? What are all of the qualities of the person that would light you up? And then like, just spend some time practicing feeling that way. And if you're like, what? How do I even do that? Book a launch call. This is what I do with my clients all day every day.

This is what we do inside of The Performers Plan, inside of The Paradigm, and inside of my one on one containers. I help you learn how to believe before results. I learn, help you imagine and get clear and feel how you want to feel today. Your life is happening now and I love you so much. And that's what I got for you this week. Alright. I will meet you back here for another episode.

Hey, I want to invite you to get started because if this is blowing your mind, imagine the impact of when we actually work together. If you're committed to loving your life as an actor, singer, or dancer, come join us inside of The Performers Plan. You get lifetime access to the program, the community and high quality coaching for the rest of your career. Go to kelliyoungmanwellness.com/theperformersplan to join us now. I'll see you inside