Ep 55: Decide What "Result" You're Creating

 In this episode, we're talking about the value of knowing and deciding what result you are currently working, whether it is in your personal, professional, or financial life, knowing with certainty what you are creating will change the intention of how you show up. You ready? Let's do it.

Hello! You are listening to the Love Your Life as a Performer podcast. I'm Kelli Youngman and I am The Life Coach for Performers. I help actors, singers, and dancers love themselves and their lives way more. So keep listening to learn how you can love your life both on and off the stage.

Hello, and welcome back to episode 55 of the Love Your Life as a Performer podcast. I am honestly, truly sitting in so much love, appreciation, wonder, and awe for the way life can change, for the way that we have access to creating anything and everything that we freaking want. I've been recording some client testimonials recently, and I'm looking forward to sharing them soon once they get edited and uploaded and shared. I just want for you to be able to witness the magic of my clients as well, and to witness and experience how possible it is to change anything and everything about your life.

I feel like I've been really, again, sitting in this so much for myself as well, because my life now is vastly different than a year ago. Vastly. Like in the outside circumstances that are present, but also in the way that I feel, the way that I trust myself, the way that I move through the world, right?

Like, it's just totally, totally different. And that just keeps being reflected back in the work that I'm doing with my clients and the way that they're also seeing their life is completely different in many ways, like being in the best relationships of their lives, making more money than ever before. Like all of these things are so new and having different career experiences, Broadway debuts, everything can change so quickly, when you get your brain and your mind on board.

And I'm going to continue to invite you, if you haven't noticed, I'm going to continue to invite you to get started, because no matter where you are, again, you'll see when the testimonials are shared, that almost everyone had some sense of, I don't know if the word is confusion or hesitation or trepidation about beginning. They all maybe had a little bit of resistance or thought that it wouldn't work for them, or, you know, that they were being unrealistic with what they wanted and through the space of coaching, literally all of my clients have found confidence, certainty, clarity about what they want.

And having that and then moving towards what you want changes everything. It changes how you show up. It changes how you command time and space with the universe. When you are the universe, when you know the power that you have, it really does. change everything. And so I have to be honest when I was sitting and getting ready to do this podcast, I actually have two different topics that are right on the tip of my tongue.

I actually have like five podcast ideas coming up and I know that I always am like, Oh, here's another idea. Here's another idea. And I think I've said this before, I'll say it again. That's the benefit of starting this work and just jumping into a coaching container, whether it's The Performers Plan, getting ready for pre enrollment for the January class of The Paradigm or one on one, you actually get help with the things that you specifically need help with right now.

Because yeah, I love putting this out. I love that it's additional value for my current clients, past clients, future clients. I love that this is just like a free resource that gets to exist for professional actors, singers and dancers and beyond. I know I have a lot of people who listen to the podcast who aren't in the performing arts at all. We love you as well. And, when you are doing the work, that's when you really get to be in the process of change, to experience not only the intellectual learning of the content and the ideas and the tools, but you actually then get to implement and you actually get to be in the process of integrating and embodying it. So it's not just an idea, but it's an actual lived in felt experience.

So anyways, regardless of what capacity you want to join in and get started, you're going to go to kelliyoungmanwellness.com/launch to book a launch call. We'll spend an hour on the phone, me and you, and we'll get really clear about what you want to create in your life, where you're getting stuck and we'll just co create a plan to get you there. And yeah, I am just, like I said, completely in awe of the magic of this work and the way that it has changed my life, the way that it's given me courage and belief and clarity about what I still want to move towards and also, then getting to see it play out in my client's lives, too. It's just magic. It's magic, and it's also not magic at all, because it's very, very simple.

Okay, so, like I said, I have two very different topics, and I know that I'll address both of them on the podcast at some point. But the one that I want to talk about today is being clear about the results that you're working.

And... I'm going to tell you exactly what I mean by that. One of the things that I hear most often from clients is like just this general idea that things are not working. It's like, Oh, my career, the industry, ugh, like I want to be better with, I want to have more money. Right. But it all is very general, and it's not good, bad, right, or wrong, because there's actually a lot of beauty in being willing to go general and to have an idea of what you want to create. And, at some point, we want to be specific, so that you actually know what result you are working, what result you are actively trying to create.

Because in the process of creating, you are going to basically have an idea, go do some shit, and the way that you use that neutral information, the way that you evaluate it, is going to give you the clarity to move forward. Again, I feel like. This comes up for clients a lot too when they're like, you know, it just feels like I'm throwing spaghetti at the wall, like I'm going to auditions, but I'm like, I'm just going because I think I'm supposed to go.

And so again, it isn't good, bad, right or wrong, but you can already sense that if you're not clear about the intention of the action that you're taking and you're not clear about how it's serving the result you're creating, you absolutely will feel like you're just going through the motions and it will feel like you're not getting anywhere. Not because you're not doing the air quote "right things," right? They might be the same exact actions that someone else is taking. The difference is in the clarity, the intention and the purpose behind why we're doing these things. And then when you actually have the purpose, like I said, that's when you'll have the ability to evaluate in a really clear and concise way. So you always know what it is that you're working and you're not waiting on your agent or on casting or anyone else outside of you to give you feedback so that you can keep moving forward. Right?

So again, when we go back to this concept, like knowing the results you're working, knowing the results you're creating, I'll probably use those phrases interchangeably until I pick one when I named the podcast episode, but knowing what result you're working is so important. It's so different too. I think it just gives you different access points. And like I said, it gives you the ability to break down a bigger idea, a bigger concept into very clear, measurable results.

So like for me, something that I'm going to talk about on the podcast at some point and something that's been really important for me over the last year is my own journey with food and my body. This general idea that I had was I knew that I wanted to be healthier. I would always say that like I wanted to have freedom, love, health for my body, for my mind, for my food, right? And I knew that I imagined that at 80, 90s, I just wanted to be like really fucking healthy. Like I knew I wanted to be able to be a grandma and to like be capable of still traveling and going on trips.

So like there is this, this future focused idea and a connection of why I wanted to have that result. And then I really struggled for a long time. And it wasn't until I started. started getting really specific with what's the results I'm working, that it made it easier to access specific thought/feeling combos that were going to serve me, but then also getting really granular with the actions that I'm taking, right?

Another way I've said this before on the podcast is like, are we looking at macro or are we looking at micro, right? The macro is kind of like the big picture. And then the micro is like the small junctures, decision points, that are really again in the granular everyday moment by moment, right?

And so to use my example, right, if I'm just like, Oh, I want to feel better about my body and I want to feel good about food, again, it's not good, bad, right, or wrong to have this sort of broad stroke, but then I want to really be clear with what results am I working? Okay, and so for me a lot of it was like I had such a problem with overeating, I would always eat till I was stuffed and I like could not understand why I was doing this to myself, right?

It made no sense in my brain. I'm like, what is happening? So when I started getting specific about the results I want to create is that I no longer overeat, right? That I stop when I'm full, that I'm aware of my body when I'm full, right? Like even just the simplicity of being like, Oh, I want to have a healthier relationship with food, it gets so much more specific when I say I am actively working and focused on not overeating. I'm actively working on being aware of my hunger and fullness cues. So when I got granular, when I got specific, it was so much easier to track the metrics and to know if I was actually making progress on the thing that I wanted to create, right? So that's just one example.

Another way to use this is like, I have clients that know they want to make more money in their business. But they're not being, and I mean, I'm raising my hand, I know this firsthand as well... that's why I'm able to coach my clients through it. And it's so different to say, I want to make more money in my business. Like again, that's not a good, bad, right or wrong general idea to have. But then to be really specific about, well, what result are you creating?

I had a client who, unintentionally, they were making the result: I want people to know who I am. And again, it's not good, bad, right, or wrong. I think that's actually really valuable when you're building something. You want to be the go to, you want to be reputable or known or recognized for the work you're doing. Absolutely. Like it's not. misguided by any means. It's actually like, of course, that makes sense.

And it wasn't until we got really granular that they realized that they weren't actively creating or working the result of signing two new clients, right?

Every action they were taking was to create the result of "people know who I am." And at some point, right, all that happened is that they weren't actually selling their services. They weren't actually inviting people to hire them and to get started or to book a consult, right? They weren't working the result of two new consults on the calendar or sign two new clients.

Instead, their objective, their focus was "get people to know me." And so when we really looked at this, granularly, it was like, Oh, well, you just haven't been inviting them to book a consultation. You haven't been inviting them or believing that they're ready to hire you. Now, you've been you've been unintentionally working the result: I want people to know me, which is amazing. And it's working. And now, in order to reach the financial goals you have. We actually just have to make the result sign to new clients. And again, you might be thinking, and maybe not, but I know in my head at the beginning, it felt like these were the same things.

But I'm hoping that as I'm talking about it, as I'm sharing with you, it's getting clearer that we have to be specific about the result we are working. And when we do that, it will change and inform how we're showing up, what we're doing and who we're being while we're doing those things, right?

Because again, all of this comes back to created identity and who you're choosing to be first. Because the actions will never create the being. You can't like hustle your way to become something when you, I mean you could, that's like the most exhausting way to do it versus when you're like really deciding who you want to be and letting that inform the decisions, the thought, feeling combos, all of it, right?

And so let's put this in the context of auditions, because I think it's just, I just think for most performers, auditions are like, and maybe actually, maybe not. I don't even want to generalize because if you're listening to this podcast, you probably don't think that way. Or if you do, again, it's not a problem. I think we've all gone through phases where we're like, fuck auditions are slow. There's no new shows coming in. None of them align with me, blah, blah, blah. Like we all have these stories that we tell ourselves, right?

And it's so different to be working the results of having three amazing song selections in my book, right?

Getting clear on what three songs I want to pick and then, I don't know, going from there, right? And to like have voice lessons and feel prepared about them. It's so different to sit, to work the results of three amazing songs that I love to sing. Versus like do well at auditions, right? Like, do you see how it's like, obviously the, the more specific thing is going to contribute to the bigger goal, but when we're getting specific, we can get measurable, measure, oh my gosh, measurable about the progress, about the action.

And then also I, I feel that when you're specific about the result, you're working, it also adds to momentum, right? So when you're going to auditions, it's very different to say, I'm working the result of getting asked to sing. I'm working the result of booking my next show. I'm working the result of signing with a new agent. Again, it's so much more specific and granular. And each one of those different things that I just mentioned are going to have different thought/feeling, combos, and actions than just like having a successful career or I don't know, booking a show.

Each one has the capacity to be more intentional when we're getting specific about the results we're working. It's very different to say, I'm going to go to class and the results I want to work is picking up the choreography quickly, versus like, I want to go to class and I want to get asked to dance in small groups. Like, those are two different results and they might happen simultaneously. Two things can be true at once. And the objective, the intention, the actions, the thought/feeling combos, again, all of it will be informed by the result you're working to create. And then, with the specificity of knowing what result you're working, you can get granular and specific about what is adding to creating this result? What's not contributing to creating this result? What needs to shift? And this is really when we talk about it, it's just another entry point to the process of change and being specific about what you want. Because again, it is in your hands.

And the last thing that I want to say about this, is the reason why it's so amazing to be clear about what result you're working is that sometimes our brains will get distracted. We will make a decision or be like, you know, my goal is to sign two new clients or you know, get two new voice students by the end of this month. And if it doesn't happen, sometimes what our brains will want to do is to change the result. We'll go and say, well, that didn't work. So maybe I should go try something else instead of being willing to stay committed to the result, right?

Whether it's creating 5k months or having two new clients every month, or having X amount of auditions every month, or having X amount of self tapes... like, we'll like, set the goal or set the intention of the result, and when we don't hit it, our brains will want to move on to the next thing. When you remain committed to the results you're creating, when you're willing to do the evaluation process to see what worked and what didn't work, to like, really, keep moving towards it till you create the result.

One, not only does it allow you to become more resilient, it allows you to actually accomplish the thing, right? Even if the goal is to like feel amazing about money or to understand money, to have money left over at the end of the month, to budget well, right? If you do that and you get the momentum, I used to do this all the time. I'd have the momentum and I'd be working the results, then I get to the end of the month and I'd be like, fuck, it didn't happen. It didn't work out. I'd be like, Oh, well, I guess this is just what it is and then I'd move on to the next thing that felt shiny and new.

I want to invite you to decide what result you're working, whether it's in your personal life, in your business, in your performing career, whatever it is, to get really specific and then to be willing to troubleshoot, to be willing to use all of the information as so freaking neutral and then be able to evaluate. Because only from there will your own brain get smarter. Only from there will your own brain be willing to sit with the discomfort of not accomplishing something and get curious about how else you could go about it, right?

It's like the difference of being like "I tried everything" versus like "no matter what, I'm committed to creating this Let me see what else I can do". It's just such a different mindset. So that's another benefit of being really clear and specific about the result you're working, because then you have a metric, you have an idea, you have a place to come back to, and to remain tethered to even before the result comes.

From being specific, from what results you are working, that's going to give you the most effective path forward. Then you're not confused about why it isn't working or, you know, what's happening or any of that, because you always are going to have the capacity and the tools and the perspective, the vantage point to see, okay, this is the result I'm working. This is what I tried. This is what didn't work. This is what I want to do differently, right? It's just like really utilizing the evaluation process until the result is created.

And if you're not willing to stick with it, if you're not willing to create the result, I think that's a very human thought/feeling to have. And I just invite you to get curious. Why are you unwilling to do the work? What is your brain feeling like is an obstacle to remaining committed to whatever result you want to create or whatever result you're working, right? It's actually okay. It's fun to be in the process and it's fun to be in the actual journey of getting to the thing. And I think that comes from also allowing it to be fun, allowing the process to be just as enjoyable as the destination.

Because we know that once we get there, it's not always exactly how we think it's going to feel, especially when we're thinking that the outcome, the circumstance, the result is what's going to make us feel the way we want to feel right. It's always coming from us, our thoughts, our beliefs every single time. All right. That's what I got for you this week, and I'll meet you back here for another episode.

Hey, I want to invite you to get started, because if this is blowing your mind, imagine the impact of when we actually work together. If you're committed to loving your life as an actor, singer, or dancer, come join us inside of The Performers Plan. You get lifetime access to the Program, the Community and high quality Coaching for the rest of your career. Go to kelliyoungmanwellness.com/theperformersplan to join us now. I'll see you inside.