In this episode, we're going to be talking about how your uninvestigated belief systems are always running the show. It isn't good, bad, right or wrong. And when you have this awareness, you can invite in curiosity and expansion to create something new. You ready? Let's do it. 

Hello. You are listening to the Love Your Life as a Performer podcast. I'm Kelli Youngman, and I am the life coach for performers. I help actors, singers, and dancers love themselves and their lives way more. So keep listening to learn how you can love your life both on and off the stage.

Hello, and welcome back to episode 49 of the Love Your Life as a Performer podcast. Before we jump into today's episode. I want to share a few things. Okay. First things first, this is totally random, but I have to just share that something that is giving me so much pleasure these days is making an egg and feta sandwich. I go back and forth between whether eggs feel like super delicious and yummy. And sometimes I'm just like, this is just a random share that sometimes I'm a skeeved out by eggs and I don't enjoy them, but right now I'm in a phase where I'm really loving them. And so it's on my mind because I literally just ate an egg and cheese sandwich. And it was like literally the most delicious, warm, nourishing bites that I could have had today. And I'm just so appreciative of this fricking egg and feta sandwich. Give it a try if you're an egg person. Okay. 

The other thing that is currently lighting me up is that we have began, begun, we have started this next round of The Paradigm. We literally had our Welcome Activation last week. And if you're listening to this in real time, this week, we are meeting for our very first one on one calls and I am just so fucking delighted by the magic that's already unfolding and, you know, in The Paradigm we get to meet not only for our LIVE Coaching Calls as a group, but we also get to meet one on one and it is just like chef's kiss, so fucking fun and so many breakthroughs are already happening. 

And so yeah, I just have to talk about the magic of how profound this work is and getting to re-experience someone engaging with coaching for the first time. It is like light bulb moments. Lots of silence, lots of, I don't know, I've never thought about that. Like it's all of these aha moments that start clicking. And the beautiful thing again, is that when we work together, you have at least six months to give your brain this experience of investigating where your brain might be filling in gaps and you get to start being intentional about how you're relating to literally everything in your life. And that will never not be mind blowing to me. The way that this work is cumulative and the way that it completely expands what you think is possible and how you subconsciously react to certain things and get to change how your brain works. It is fucking amazing and I'm so in love with what I do. I love my clients and this work is everything to me. 

Anyways, all of that to say one other thing that I wanted to share before we jump into today's episode, and honestly, I think this ties into what we're going to talk about today to this idea of really leaning into the magic of today has been so simple, yet beautiful and profound for me and especially the last week, of really coming back to the magic that every single day is an invitation into the beautiful present now moment where literally anything can happen. Literally. Anything and everything new can happen today. It is literally an opportunity to create every single day. And if that is not inspiring you, like come talk to me and let me just like hypothetically shake your shoulders. 

Because in the unknown, in the present moment, in the newness, that is where all the opportunity and possibility exists. And what would it look like if every single day, again, if you were willing to destroy and uncreate, I feel like this is a whole other podcast I have to do, but if you were willing to destroy and uncreate all the things that are working and all the things that aren't working, and literally step into new, what would change in your life if the objective every single day was to experience something new? 
So that you're not only recreating some version of the past or some expectation, again, based on the past or some projection of what we think the future is going to be. But instead invites in new, from the unknown, from the uncertain, from the anything can happen space. When you're inviting and playing in the micro moments, that's when new things can happen. That's when there is the potential for change. That's when your whole freaking life, the trajectory of your life can shift because you're no longer operating from expectation of the known, you know, like all these predictable things that could occur. Instead, you're literally inviting in new potential, new possibilities, new outcomes.

Like, seriously, I want you to just like sit with that. Because again, this is not a new concept to me, but every time I reengage with it, the texture of it shifts so much. And it's been welcoming in so many breakthroughs for me, and I want you to give yourself the opportunity to experience the breakthrough of inviting new things into your life every single day. Of making choices that are different, of doing things differently. Like literally that is where all the magic is. And it doesn't have to be a be all end all, because again, there's always another choice from there. But remembering that life is choices and new choices will create new results. 

Okay. That is what I got for like, just like the fun things that are happening.
Oh, one other really fun thing that I have to talk about because it is time sensitive, is that starting next Monday, July 24th, inside of The Performers Plan, we are taking on a 7 Day Challenge and Exploration. I mean, if you listen to last week's podcast, all about prioritizing self pleasure, it is something that has been revolutionary for me. And again, not only sexual self pleasure, but just pleasure in general. Like, hello, did you just hear how I talked about my freaking egg and feta cheese sandwich? That is what I'm talking about. Living in the savoring pleasure of the experience you're having. Not later when you're reflecting back on it and wishing like, oh gosh, I could have been more available for the magic of that moment.

No, like in real freaking time. Okay. So inside of The Performers Plan. We are taking on collectively a seven day prioritizing pleasure challenge and exploration to redefine, rediscover, and recommit to fucking inviting pleasure into our lives, right? Again, sexual or otherwise. And I mean, I feel like I just have to say, if you're engaging with me in my spaces, just know from here on out, we are sex positive, queer, all about being in your most authentic self. And I hope that by listening to this podcast, you're already one of those people. So yeah, we're going to be talking about masturbating. We're going to be inviting in curiosity with ourselves in all different ways. Okay. 

And so with that being said, there's never been a more perfect time to join us inside of The Performers Plan, because you can be doing this challenge with us in real time, every single day, there's going to be a video with prompts and questions again, just to explore and rediscover what pleasure even fucking means to you. Because it is going to be individual and it is going to be different for every single person, right? This is a space to play and to again, just explore what pleasure means to you. And define how you want to invite it into your unique life. Okay. And if you happen to be listening to this podcast, after the challenge has begun, just know that this is going to live on in the Bonus Content of the performer's plan. So literally, even if this is like. Three years later, you will still have lifetime access to the Prioritizing Pleasure challenge that you can start and engage with literally any time you want.

When you join The Performers Plan, you get instant on demand, lifetime access to the program, the community, to our live coaching calls, the replays, and literally any future content that is born, like this challenge. There's literally never been a better time to join us. You can go to kelliyoungmanwellness.com/theperformersplan to join us now. There's a one time payment of $1000 and once you are in, you are in for life. Okay. Like literally it's a no brainer, but come join us. We're going to be prioritizing pleasure and just again, inviting this to be not only something that you create for the next seven days, but something that you integrate into how you live your life, how you approach your life, and how you choose to prioritize how you feel and the experience you're having on a day to day basis. 

Because pleasure is not just as a reward. It's not something that comes later. It's something that can be Woven into, woven, woven, like woven. Okay. I literally don't know which word I'm trying to say, but it can be literally a fabric of how you live, not an afterthought. And when it is, I promise, how you feel, how you move through the world is going to be so different when pleasure is just a given, when each day is pleasurable. Hello. Like, what is the point of being alive? Right? 

Okay. Anyways, that's my spiel for today. And now let's jump into today's episode. Something that has been on my mind a lot and something that I reinvestigate for myself often is my current belief systems. And I was talking to a client about this and it kind of posed some questions. So I thought it would be an interesting topic to bring to the podcast. The thing is, right, our belief systems are literally what drive our lives. And some of these beliefs are conscious. Some of them are created, especially if you're working with me or you're in my world as a client, you have conscious created beliefs about yourself, core beliefs that you are intentionally choosing.

And then we always have these sort of uninvestigated beliefs, these uninvestigated belief systems that have come from family, friends, society, our culture, our upbringing, et cetera, right? It's sort of like I use the term collective consciousness a lot. It's sort of like these again, uninvestigated agreements that we've just sort of accepted. 
As a coach, it just becomes very obvious to see in myself and in others, when certain belief systems pop up. I was reading a book and I might have said this on the podcast, I'm going to say it again, is that when we have a belief, right, each belief is held up by at least 25 other beliefs, right? It's just really interesting when you get down into the fact that we've created these lifelong beliefs, our brain create shortcuts to make the way we're thinking, making decisions, operating on a day to day basis, just second nature. Right. It's creating efficiency in our lives and yes, we love our brains for it. 
And when we don't pause to investigate it, a thought I've been thinking, which has been so much fun is just like, Oh, your belief system is showing. Right. This is not call out culture. This is not a judgment. It's truly just an awareness and an awareness that I'm inviting for myself as well. 

I'll try to give you a few examples, but you know, I was having a conversation with a friend and something came up about how difficult it is to mix work and friendship. And it isn't good, bad, right or wrong, but it was just so evident that that is a very collective conscious agreement that like, don't mix business with pleasure, or don't work with your family, that it gets tricky, right? I'm sure there is lots of evidence for that to be true, right? And it was just so interesting because that has not been my experience at all.
I actually have worked with lots of friends as clients, and my experience has been that when I am very neutral about it, there's plenty of space for friends to step into this work, to enjoy life changing transformation of coaching, and to still honor our friendship outside of that container. Right? It's just like a totally different container.  And so... It isn't good, bad, right, or wrong, but I want you to imagine if you have the belief system that it's hard to work with family, the other beliefs, thoughts, feelings, actions that are going to be under that thought umbrella, right? It just already is changing the lens through which you're seeing the possibilities.

Another example, again, I think I've maybe mentioned this already, but the idea that breakups need to be hard and messy, right? I am not denying that breakups have their challenges and that they are going to be an emotional rollercoaster of sorts. And honestly, that's not even the most neutral way that I can say it. But of course, a breakup is going to involve a range of emotions, right? Lots of different emotions, lots of processing and healing on its own timeline. And something that I invited in from early on in my recent breakup was the idea that this breakup could look any way that I wanted. That it didn't have to be messy or uncomfortable or hard, but that it could be whatever I chose it to be.

Are you starting to see the through line of what I'm saying. I hope so. Let me think of one more example. I mean, again, even coming back to what I was saying with pleasure, when we have the idea that it's irresponsible to prioritize pleasure or that having too much fun is a sign of irresponsibility, right? We can feel really guilty for having fun. This happened to me one day last week when I did let myself just engage with the magic of the day and I was letting things unfold and I met up with friends and I spent time in the park and I just had a very free flowing day. I will share that my brain wanted to offer me that it was irresponsible that I was neglecting my work. 

To be honest, was there anything specific that needed to get done that day? No, right, but my brain wanted to go back to my previous belief system that during the week You should be focused. During the week you should be prioritizing work, right. That you should not spontaneously take a day to just laugh and drink and enjoy and be in the presence of other amazing humans, right?

It's almost like the same idea of reaching an upper limit where our brain is like, nope, nope, nope, you've reached the capacity of your specific capacity of fun, joy, success, love, right? Which again is a lot of the work that I do with my clients to expand the capacity. And even in that circumstance, it was just like, not a problem, but it was like, Oh, my belief system is showing right. I am believing that work is more important than play. My brain wants to argue for the limitation that I should not be having this much spontaneous fun. 

Right. And so. So again, all of this to say isn't good, bad, right or wrong, but these belief systems, our belief systems are creating, either consciously or unconsciously, creating the parameters through which we are living our lives.

And now, the thing about this too, The beauty of coaching is that when you start getting so intimate with your own mind, you start realizing and questioning and I feel like the word is maybe challenging. It doesn't have to be aggressive, but challenging, does that need to be true? Do I still consider that true today?

Right. And I feel like, again, going back to what I was saying about my client, like something that came up when I was. sharing this concept with a client was like, well, then what does it look like to constantly be reevaluating your belief systems? And like, it almost was like shaking them to their core. What I want to offer is that investigating your belief systems doesn't have to be identity shattering. It doesn't have to be something where you like. I feel like the idea I have is like, you just lose yourself in consciousness and you become no thing, no one, which honestly is like a lot of the beauty of meditation is coming back to just pure consciousness, pure being without these labels and perceptions of who we believe we are.

Right? I think there's a lot of beauty and freedom in that. And I don't want you to go get freaking lost in the ethers. And I do think what's valuable about that is that when we are inviting in curiosity, there's just space for change. Again, going back into this idea that new. Thoughts, new beliefs, new actions can create new results. 

The thing again about these belief systems, if something goes against your belief system, it's going to be really hard to take action outside of it. For example, and I feel like this is another podcast coming down the pipeline. Maybe someone out there is taking note of all the times I say this and you want to like send me an email with all the topics, I really wouldn't be mad at that. 

But if you're believing that. You know, again, I think this comes up for performers and artists and creatives a lot, if you're believing it's hard to make money as an artist or there's no money in art, again, collective conscious thought belief, if that is left on investigated, you might just settle. And again, not consciously. We're not like, I don't think any of us consciously settle for less than what we desire or want intentionally, unless we're just like really committed to a limiting belief that we're not fully aware of. Right. We're not just like purposely trying to do these things to us ever.

Okay. But if you are believing that it's hard to make money as an artist, if you're committed to that belief, you're not going to actively go out and give yourself the experience of making money in a way that feels fun, easy, and simple, right? You're not ever going to have the ability to make money in a way that's sustainable and fun, again, like it's just not in the parameters, right? 

Like, I feel like I don't even know computer programming, but this is the image that's coming to my mind. It's like, if you design a game where like, these are the parameters. Like freaking Pac Man, right? The parameters are, you go around, you eat the little dots and you get the freaking things, right? This literally is the worst example, but I'm running with it. I want you to imagine. That like, the parameters of Pac Man are the parameters of Pac Man.

You can't like, go and do some Mario Kart shit inside of Pac Man. Right? It's like, it's just not possible. Because it's a totally different game. It's a totally different structure. It's a totally different set of rules, restrictions, and possibilities inside of that game. Totally different objectives. I want you to imagine that that is your belief system, right?

If you have a belief system where it's hard to make money. That you have to, you know, give all of your life to your performing career until it happens. And then after that, you can decide if you want to do something else. Like, I'm just trying to like, think of like the most common things, but then also like, You know, you have to be working hard every single day in order to make money and in order to be successful in this industry.
If those are your belief systems, it's going to feel really shitty if you're trying then to welcome in more ease, more rest. More alignment and like more synchronicity because the synchronicity comes from energy, not from effort, right? If your belief is that effort is what creates your results, it's going to be really hard.

It may not impossible, but it's going to be challenging to sit with the possibility that your energy and your alignment could create faster, simpler results then any action you take. Right? And again, it's not one or the other. We know that in this world of doing this work, especially through my work, it's a combination of both, right? It's mindset and magic. It's thought work and inspired action. Like it's all of the things, it's energy and action. It's not just one thing ever. We get to invite in the possibility, the parameters can just be so much more open than we're creating, and that comes from our belief systems. 

All of this to say, again, it doesn't have to be like identity crisis, like, What are my beliefs? What are my core values? What? Who am I being in a way that feels scary? Because You're always going to be you in your purest form as love. Like that's never going to go away, right? you're here on this planet being who you're being and Imagine what happens when you start removing the limitations the rules all of the things you think you're supposed to do. And again You always have the option to keep any beliefs that you want to keep. That's for you to freaking decide. And there's just so much freedom in allowing it to be a conscious choice rather than a subconscious program running the show. 

I'm trying to think of another example, but I know for me, like this happened a lot with like people pleasing and thinking that in order to be a good person, I had to go out of my way for people all of the time. Like that the only way that I could be a valuable friend or human was if I was willing to go above and beyond. And you might even hear that and say, you know what? That's not good, bad, right, or wrong. Maybe that is a very nice quality to have. And if that is the parameter, imagine how shitty it feels when you have to be willing to say no. I don't have the capacity to hold space for your discomfort. I don't have the capacity to listen to your complaining right now. I don't have the capacity or the bandwidth to drop everything I'm doing to prioritize you. Right? 

There's like this layer of self abandon that comes in when my parameters and, you know, rules air quote rules that I'm creating, my belief systems are that in order to be a good person, I have to be willing to help other people dot, dot, dot at the cost of myself and my own peace. Right. And so. All of that to say, when we invite in the awareness and curiosity, we get to just be a little bit more aware of the nuances of how we're operating from, and just like to literally rewrite the programming, right?

To say, there's literally no such thing as failure, right? Like anything I do is going to invite in learning and expansion and growth. But if you grew up thinking and believing failure is not an option. You must get all straight A's. Hello, ask me how I know you have to be the star student. If like perfection and ambition and productivity are kind of running the show from your vantage point of your belief system of like, these are the most important things to accomplish success. Right? It's just going to create a totally different experience than if you're prioritizing the pleasure and the fun and the enjoyment of the process, not the result, right? Totally freaking different. 

And so what I want to offer again is that our belief systems are always showing and how we're moving through the world in our actions, in our thoughts, in our feelings, in our judgments of others and our judgments of self. If we think it's wrong to cancel something, or again, say no, if you're unavailable, imagine how different that's going to look when you like, just do shit all the time that you don't actually want to do, right. It's just a totally different life experience. And our belief systems are always showing. It is a gift.

It is magical for us to see these human perceptions we've created and attached to, and when you're willing to release and question and again, just inviting curiosity, it just creates space for new possibility, create space for new awareness, new understanding. And from there anything becomes possible. 

You know, the last thing I want to say, and I think I started saying this and didn't circle back to this thought is I'm going to do a whole podcast about this because you know, when you are starting to charge money for your services, whether it's voice lessons or coaching or makeup or literally any other sort of like parallel skill that you have, again, this is something we work on specifically inside of The Paradigm, but I just want to offer that if you're thinking it's hard to run a business that people don't want to pay you, that people won't think you're skilled or qualified enough if you don't have a degree in the skill or in the service that you're offering, it's going to inhibit the action that you take and the offers that you make to help people, right? It's going to be hard to charge money. If you're thinking that it's unfair to, I don't know, charge more than X amount of dollars, right? If you're thinking it's selfish or greedy to charge money and that in order to help people, you should be willing to do it for free, right? Imagine how different that belief system is from creating the belief system that will allow you to create a six figure business while you're pursuing your performing career, dancing, singing, acting, whatever your unique path is. Right? 

It's going to be really hard to create that if you're thinking you can't give your attention to anything outside of performing, if you want to be successful. Right? Like this is what I mean. Our belief systems are always showing in literally all of our actions and without letting it completely destroy... And again, it's not good, bad, right, or wrong. Maybe there's beauty in destroying how you're perceiving yourself, but I think this is just a reminder and a wake up call to investigate what you're currently believing about life, what you're currently believing about yourself, and what you're currently believing about being an actor, singer or dancer, about money, about relationships. All of that is going to be reflecting your active, possibly uninvestigated belief systems. 

This is like such a huge part of the work we do together. And if you want guidance through this process, that's what I'm here for. That's what coaches do all day, every day. And you can just start being onto yourself and start looking at what belief is driving this action. Is this the most expansive perspective I can choose? Is this allowing infinite possibilities? Or am I like super committed to one perspective and one specific way of how something needs to show up in my life? 

That's what I got for you this week. Our belief systems are always showing. And you get to engage with them with love, compassion, curiosity, and just skip over The Second Layer of judgment and shame and guilt or whatever else comes up, right? You can release that and just engage with the magic and create whatever you want, right? You can create any new beliefs you want simply through practice and intention because a belief is just a thought you keep thinking. All right, I will meet you back here for another episode. 

Hey, I want to invite you to get started because if this is blowing your mind, imagine the impact of when we actually work together. If you're committed to loving your life as an actor, singer, or dancer, come join us inside of The Performers Plan. You get lifetime access to the program, the community and high quality coaching for the rest of your career. Go to kelliyoungmanwellness.com/theperformersplan to join us now. I'll see you inside.