In this episode, we're gonna be talking about negative emotion, and I'm gonna give you a slightly different perspective for how you might be thinking, feeling and engaging with your negative emotion. Because truly it's not a problem and when you understand what it's actually telling you, you're gonna feel way better about it being here. You ready? Let's do it. 

Hello, you are listening to Love Your Life as a Performer podcast. I'm Kelli Youngman and I am the Life Coach for Performers. I help actors, singers, and dancers love themselves and their lives way more, so keep listening to learn how you can love your life, both on and off the stage.

Hello and welcome back to episode 47 of the Love Your Life as a Performer podcast. Now I am pre-recording this episode before I go to Italy. Why did I say it like that? Italy. And so as it's being released, I am literally just getting back from vacation and I cannot wait to share a fun update of my trip next time you tune in.

What I thought would be valuable for this episode is talking about the ways that sometimes negative emotions, or perceived negative emotions, sometimes take on a different meaning, how they sometimes take on a different life. Now, if you've been listening for a while, you know that there is always the story that we are telling, and then the actual truth, the fact, the neutral circumstance that that is actually happening. Right. There's what's happening and there's the story that we're telling honestly, and that story can be positive and or negative, but it's the lens that we are interpreting something through, right? 

So again, there's always the truth or the fact the neutral thing that's happening or there is the story that we are telling. Now, something that I have been noticing is that oftentimes we immediately make a negative emotion, an indicator of something going wrong. We perceive our negative emotion, whether it's doubt, fear. Guilt, um regret, you know, and I'm sharing this like through the lens of, you know, knowing that recently I ended a relationship and that all of these feelings can come up, especially when big life circumstances are happening. Okay? 

And when our brain is receiving the negative emotion as a sign of something has gone wrong, what happens is it opens up this huge loop and this opportunity for distraction, and honestly, I'm just gonna say it, what sometimes can be unnecessary, prolonged negative emotion. Okay? And what I mean by that is that if we are using the negative emotion as an indicator that something has gone wrong, what our brain will do is try to solve for it. Try to understand it. And especially when it comes to making decisions, our brain likes to roll around in the fear that something has gone wrong, that we've made the wrong decision. Right. And again, that's not really a problem. And I see that when we do that, when the negative emotion itself is an indicator of bad, wrong, a problem, it just takes us to a different space of our brain.

Now you might be asking like, wait, what is happening? Okay. Then what's the alternative? 

I want to just give you a different perspective of emotions today, and then also remind you that perceived negative emotion is not a problem. It doesn't have to mean that something's gone wrong. It doesn't have to be your red flag of like, slow down, stop. We gotta turn around and go the other way, right? I want you to just see that it, just like any emotion, it truly is optional and of course, always holding space for, it's not wrong. It's allowed to be here, and all of those things, right? That goes without saying.

But here is another way that you can imagine and think about your negative emotions. When they are coming up, they don't have to be an indicator that you did something wrong or that you made the wrong choice or that like literally that whatever is happening is not what's supposed to be happening, right? Negative emotion is always an indicator of how far away you have gotten from the truth of who you are. Let me say that again.

Negative emotion is always an indicator of how far away you have gotten from the truth of who you are. I want you to think about the fact that your highest self, your inner knowing, your truest form of being not just you, literally all of us is love, right? We are literally beams of light. We know what it feels like to be most authentically ourselves. We know what it feels like to be living in truth, to be at this high frequency of joy and ease, and excitement and eagerness, right? We all know what that feels like. And when we are experiencing a negative emotion, a perceived negative emotion...

I'm just gonna stop saying perceived negative emotion. I'm gonna put a pin in it and remind you that you know what I mean when I say negative emotion. Right, because again, a negative emotion is not good, bad, right or wrong. Negative is also a label. But for the intents and purposes of this conversation, we know what negative emotion means. We know that it's the feelings that don't feel great, the pain, the suffering, shame, regret all of those, we know what they are.

Okay. And so when we are experiencing a negative emotion, just like any emotion, it is coming from our thoughts. And you know, I had a client recently say to me, but Kelli, I kind of feel like the emotion is creating the thoughts and a hundred percent it's like thoughts and emotions are linked together. And whether the body is creating the literal chemical compounds of a specific feeling and then informing your brain how you think and feel, regardless of whether it comes from the emotion first or the thought first, they go hand in hand, right? When you are feeling blissful and joyful, when you are radiating at your highest self, you're not also simultaneously thinking and believing that you're the worst and that you know your life is over or that you're a fraud, right? When you are radiating at your highest frequency, your thoughts are like, I'm the fucking shit. I know exactly what I'm doing. I trust the universe. Things are always working out for me, right? We have a correlating thought and feeling combo.

And so the same is true when we're having a negative emotion, when we're feeling a negative emotion in our body, whether it is conscious or unconscious. It's coming from a set of beliefs that are stimulating our brain and creating the feeling in our body, right? When we're not feeling good, maybe we're feeling hopeless or full of despair or lonely. Right? Those feelings are accompanied, accompanied. Accompanied. Yeah. By thoughts that correlate with that emotion, right?

When we're having thoughts of like, I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know if this is gonna work out, or this is risky, or I'm really putting everything on the line, and I might end up with nothing, right? Like those thoughts create the panic, the fear, the anxiety that a lot of times can stop us. And again, it isn't good, bad, right or wrong. And remember that your negative emotion is always an indicator of how far away you are from your highest self.

And the degree to which you feel this negative emotion is also the exact opposite that your inner being feels about you. So if you are like mildly feeling like, oh my gosh, that was the worst audition. I'm so not talented. You might feel a little like twinge of sadness or disappointment or whatever, right? But your Inner Being is also like, no, you're fine. You got this right. 

And now imagine. That you're really thinking thoughts that are on the frequency of like, I don't know what I'm doing. I'm useless. Again, I say this with love cause I've freaking been there, but that depth of that feeling of horrible, for lack of a better word, that feeling that feels like ass, that feeling is only an indicator the, the depth and the potency. The power of that feeling also represents how oppositely your inner being feels about you. Right? When we are feeling the depth of our lows, it's only ever an indicator of our highs. It's only ever an indicator of how much joy and truth and exuberance that our inner being knows to be true about us. 

Another way of thinking about this is like the worse it feels, the less true it is, right? The worse it feels, the less true it is. If you are telling yourself over and over and it's like just like, yeah, I'm never gonna make it. And it's just feeling very low or emotionally charged, or it's like really creating a uncomfortable, negative experience in your body, that is literally the sign that your inner being does not feel that way. 

Am I making sense? Also, just to recap, your inner being is your highest self. It's your true form of essence. It's your truest form of energy. Because we're not just some body on this planet with this identity that's being created. We're like consciousness, right? We're an extension of source. We are here in these human bodies to have a wild human experience. Right, and so your inner being is that essence, spirit stream of consciousness, part of you that knows who you are.

And so if you are thinking thoughts that are opposite from who you actually are, it will feel horrible. It will feel uncomfortable. And honestly, this is what I mean is that most people are using the depth of how bad something feels to indicate truth, rather than really seeing and knowing that the further down the depth of despair, the worst it feels, the lowest of lows aren't showing you that it's true. It's quite literally showing you that the opposite is true. That your inner being, your truest fucking highest self knows with certainty and clarity that the thoughts you are choosing to think that are making you feel so fucking terrible could not be further from the truth.

Is this making sense? Like truly, truly, truly. The negative emotions are not an indicator that it must be true, because it feels so bad. The negative emotions are an indicator that those specific thoughts could not be further from the truth about you. And when you start noticing this in real time, it's gonna be this weird feeling like this used to happen for me when I started, you know, engaging with this concept and really gaining awareness of how I was feeling. I would be like crying and be like, oh my God, like this is so terrible. I'm messing everything up and this isn't working, and I just should have done something differently. Right? When I'm like mid snot crying and then remembering that, oh, the only reason I feel this bad is because my highest self feels the exact opposite.

It was like this light bulb went off. It was like, I was able to just like stop crying and breathe into truth. I was like, wait a second. If my inner being feels exactly opposite, which is why I feel so terrible when I try to say these things about myself, that's actually such a relief, right? Even though the uncomfortable, negative emotions feel shitty. What a relief to know that these thoughts could not be further from the truth, right? Because if I am feeling so, so, so, so low about this thing, my inner being is equally feeling so, so, so, so high about me, right? My inner being is like, fuck yeah, KellI. You got this. You know what you're doing. You're here for a reason. Your purpose matters. You're changing the world. You get to be a light, and that is enough, right? 

Like all of our highest frequencies come from when we are in alignment with our truest self. And if you haven't found that yet, which I think if you look back, you'll always be able to find it. But you just go back to what are the core beliefs about myself when I feel the highest, right? When I am feeling so connected to myself and others, when I'm prioritizing how I feel, what are the thoughts that are permeating my being and radiating from my core? 

It's knowing the truth of who you are, who we all are, that we're loved, that we're connected, that we get to be here for the purpose of enjoyment and satisfaction and ease, right? It's like when we are in that truth, that's when we're able to breathe and relax and be present. Not when we're running around like little stress balls, feeling like, oh my gosh, all of this is not working out for me. This is so hard, right? All of those thoughts are just so opposite from the relaxed, joyful, trusting, full of knowing self, that is source and is connected to our higher power.

Again, this doesn't have to be religious, but really seeing that we are literally the same thing as stardust. We are literally cells and molecules that come together under a microscope to exist in this consciousness. Okay. And so again, the next time you are experiencing negative emotion, I just want you to give yourself permission to see that it's one, not a problem. And two, it is not a sign that you did something wrong. 

It is only ever an indicator of how far away you are from your truest self. Okay? And that is never a problem because then you have the choice to come back to you. Then you get to step back into your power and you get to choose the experience you want to have today.

Yeah. And yeah, if you've been used to feeling a certain way for a certain amount of time for years or weeks or months, yeah, it might require some commitment and practice and dedication to turn it all around, but it's not anything that you're incapable of. Right. You can hold space for the emotions without adding the Second Layer of judgment. And then you just get to be curious with yourself. You get to really ask yourself, what are the thoughts and feelings creating this negative emotion? And who would I be if I was vibrating at my highest? 

Not to use this to shame yourself or to move past a feeling or bypass a feeling that doesn't feel good, right? We're not trying to avoid our negative emotions. We're always willing to be in them, to experience them, to exist in them, because truly we need the lows to acknowledge the highs, right? We need the contrast and when you are remembering that nothing has gone wrong, there's just an opportunity to feel better, there's an opportunity to be intentional with your thoughts and your focus.

Then you can create the belief system that supports your Created Identity. Then you can really look at and step into truth about your potency, your power, your capability, even when your brain wants to throw a fit and invite in all of the doubts and fears and all of the just very well-rehearsed frequencies of doing something new. Right. None of that is a problem, and the power is always in your hands, inside of your own mind to change your energy. 

Okay. So literally the biggest takeaway is your negative emotion. It is not a sign that something has gone wrong. Your negative emotion is only ever an indicator of how far away you have gotten from your truest self, from the truth of who you are. And the depths of your lows Only ever indicate the height of your highs and how oppositely your inner being feels about you to the positive end.

Okay. Listen to that a few times. Get curious. Give yourself that opportunity to take a deep breath, to plug into this concept while you're experiencing negative emotion, and just see what happens, right? You don't have to take my word for it, but you can try it on, and I promise you it will give you access to different ways of being and different ways of experiencing your negative emotion too. When it's not a problem, when you're not afraid of it, and when you're not making it mean something has gone wrong. Okay, I will meet you back here for another episode. 

Hey, I wanna invite you to get started, cuz if this is blowing your mind, imagine the impact of when we actually work together. There are two ways to work with me privately, one-on-one, or inside of the paradigm with high quality community. Either way, you're gonna go to kelliyoungmanwellness.com/launch to book your free launch call. We're gonna spend 60 minutes together with you and your unique dream and vision to co-create a plan to get you there.

Let's freaking go.