In this episode we're gonna be talking about if you want it bad enough. If your brain has ever offered you the thought, Do I want this career bad enough? You want to listen to this episode. It's gonna be a juicy one. You ready? Let's do it.

Hello, you are listening to Love Your Life as a Performer podcast. I'm Kelli Youngman and I am The Life Coach for Performers. I help actors, singers, and dancers love themselves and their lives way more so keep listening to learn how you can love your life, both on and off the stage.

Hello, and welcome back to episode 40 of the Love Your Life as a Performer Podcast. Today is such a gorgeous freaking day. I had a client call with one of my amazing clients, and honestly, I'm just fired the fuck up and I have to be honest, this isn't the normal day that I record podcasts and I kind of usually have an idea and I set it aside, but I was like, no. There's no perfect time to record this podcast and what better time than when I am literally fired up.

And so actually, I think I'm going to batch a couple of episodes because truly my brain is on fire. And I want this to come out as passionately and powerfully and just as potently as I can say it. Okay, so we are just gonna jump right into today's episode and what I wanna talk about today first is the question of do I want it bad enough?

Okay. Do I want it bad enough? This question rolls around in my mind a lot. Because I also think that, I hear this from people on the other side of their careers, people that have left the industry. And again, it's not good, bad, right or wrong, and I'm always really curious about what the criteria was for their decision of, do I want it bad enough?

Okay, so if you have asked yourself this question before about your career when you're maybe facing adversity, or maybe you've had a air quote drought and you haven't had auditions in a while, or you haven't had callbacks, like I feel like the lingering question that comes up is like, how much longer can I do this? Do I really want it bad enough? And so I literally wanna just talk about that one idea today.

And so, yeah, I might've already said this, but I wanna remind you, you're not alone. You have a human brain welcome. You have a human brain that is presenting this idea of, do I want it bad enough. First, I wanna just address where this question might be coming from, right? Do I want it bad enough? Do I want this bad enough?

When we are having this question, really, truly, anytime we have a question, it comes from a statement first. So I want you to imagine that if you are asking yourself or if the question has been rolling around in your brain of, do I want this bad enough? Your brain is already entertaining the thought. I don't want this bad enough. Okay, and again, This does not have to produce shame, guilt, embarrassment. It's just valuable information to know that your brain is thinking this.

So when you are already thinking the thought, I don't want this bad enough, I want you to imagine how you show up, right? Like, I don't want this bad enough. To me in my body when I think I don't want this bad enough. There's already like a resignation. There's like a hands up moment of like, I just don't want this that badly. Right. And again, it's not good, bad, right or wrong, but it's just an invitation to get accurate.

Okay? To get clear on why is your brain having this thought. Usually when we're having the thought, I don't want this bad enough, or I don't want this, that badly. It's because we're looking at the exchange. The exchange of what it's gonna take to get it right. Like I'm even thinking about if you are having a late night craving and you're like, let me just pop into McDonald's for a little chick nuggie moment, right?

If there's a long ass line and you were like, you know what? I don't want this bad enough. I don't wanna spend the time. I don't wanna invest the time. I don't wanna have this wait. Like it's not worth it, right? Essentially, we're like, it's not worth it. I don't wanna trade my time to stand in this line. I just don't want it that badly.

Right? The same thing is true when we're thinking about investments and money and like where we're putting our resources, right? You're like, eh, if you're not fired up about the thing that you're wanting, you're like, eh, I don't want it that badly. Like, I like this dress. Or these shoes or whatever. You're like, yeah, do I like this item? Sure, it's cute. Do I wanna trade $300 for this item? Eh, not worth it. I don't really want it that badly. Right. So I want you to just be aware of, is your brain already looking at the trade off? Right. Our life is choices and trade off air quote, trade off. And like the idea of trade off is honestly very neutral. Right.

But so when you're thinking about your career in the sense of like, I don't want this bad enough. Really what you are saying is, I don't want my career for what I am having to trade off. Okay. Like I don't think the exchange of my time, energy, focus, maybe money to investing in studio space or lessons or classes to stay current that is not currently equating to what I value and I don't want it bad enough. Right?

So I want to just show you. In the simplest form, that is what your brain is saying. And again, this is not good, bad, right or wrong, we do it all of the time. The reason why I think this is so fucking important to talk about though, and again, it's not good, bad, right or wrong, but sometimes I wonder if performers are making this decision without knowing that the trade off could be different, the trade off the air quote trade off could be less than what they are equating it to. And so this is where coaching comes in and where I wanna invite you to just imagine a different experience. Okay.

If your brain is already saying, I don't want it bad enough. I want you to get specific. What does your brain currently envision the trade off? Right? What is your brain seeing as the exchange of your life, of your time, your energy, your focus, your resources? What is it imagining the trade off is to have the career that you want to have? OMGG this is getting spicy. Like truly. I want you to think about right now, and if you wanna pause this episode, freaking pause it. What does your brain think that the tradeoff is.

Now my theory. And actually not even theory, because I know it's true. I see this happening in conversation when I'm speaking with performers, right? Most people are saying, do I want this bad enough - if the trade off for my career is that I have to show up to auditions and never get cast, that I have to keep being, um, rejected. Like I have to face daily rejection is a big one that I hear, right? Like I have to spend time and money to record self tapes, right? Like I have to spend all this money and I barely get cast, right? I have to. You know, put off my happiness and not have a family until I have enough money to support myself, I have to, you know, put off my desire to buy a property because again, I'm in a career path that doesn't give me the financial stability that I'm looking for. Right.

Just notice if any of this is coming up for you. And most performers from this vantage point are like, fuck no. I do not want it bad enough. I do not want to trade my comfort, my happiness, my stability, my lifelong dreams for my human experience. I don't want to trade that for a career in the performing arts. And when you're looking at it from that vantage point, you know what, I don't blame you. I don't blame you.

And the thing is right, I wanna reiterate that this is going to be different for everyone, right? Like your unique decision of like what makes it worth it for me? That is up to you, right? You might decide, yeah, it's not worth it for me to spend, like, I don't wanna spend studio space. I don't wanna do this thing, blah, blah, blah. Like, yes, everything you just said, that's a fuck yes. For me, I, it's not worth it. I don't want it. Right.

And I wanna invite you to consider that when you are looking at that vantage point. Your brain has not yet considered the possibility that you actually get the career you desire. What? Okay, I'm gonna say that again. When you are imagining dot, dot, dot. Is this worth it or this is not worth it? I do not want this bad enough. Are you actually considering the moment that you book the job? Are you considering the moment that you have the career that you want to have? And are you considering that you could potentially still have the stability, the happiness, the financial status, the lifestyle that you actually want to have as well.

And if that is on the other side, not just like a big pile of nothing, then is it worth it? Then do you want it bad enough? Okay. I really want you to just consider that your brain is gonna go to a different space when you're actually seeing yourself with the thing that you want on the other side. Of course, it's not gonna be worth it, of course it's not gonna feel like you want it bad enough if you're thinking that. You just have to suffer and struggle and put up with a bunch of bullshit. And again, I'm not saying that there might not be moments of challenge and. Is your brain actually seeing the possibility of having it all? Is your brain actually seeing the possibility and being in the belief that you are the one that can book the job, that you are the one that can go on to create the career you're envisioning, right?

Or are you currently identifying as the person that just doesn't get what they want because then, yeah, right. Do you see what I'm saying? The trade off will never feel worth it if you are still thinking you are the person, the performer, the actor, singer, dancer that comes out the other side without the contract.

Is this making sense? I feel like my brain is like literally, I am just like supercharged right now and I know this is gonna be one of my most valuable podcasts ever. So even if it takes you a few listens, I really want you to think about, for you, where is this thought stemming from? And rather, who is this thought stemming from?

Is this thought of, I don't want this bad enough, coming from the version of you that is living the career you imagine, or is it coming from the version of you that is identifying with struggle, unemployment, and like unhappiness. Okay. And here's the thing, it is not a problem, but we want to get clear, because your most potent energy and ideas are gonna come from your Highest Self.

They're gonna come from the version of you that has lit the fuck up in certainty that you are the one who gets to succeed, that you are the one who thrives. Okay? And yes. Can you be happy without having the career you want, without booking the job? Can you find happiness in other places? Yes. And I imagine that if you are listening to this podcast, you actually do desire the career you're imagining. You don't actually want to go find happiness somewhere else.

That's when people end up in regret and shame and guilt for sort of giving up on their dream. And here's the thing too. No matter where you are right now, you get to trust that you are exactly where you're meant to be. And so even if that means you've taken time away from your career, if you have, you know, like ventured off into another side of your career and another side of your passions, that's not a problem either, right?

But this is where we get to get really clear and invite you back to the potent truth of, do you want this bad enough? Maybe you want to change your answer knowing that your happiness, sacrifice, all of that is not like this trade off, but that you can still have it, right? You can pursue your career with the happiness, the financial stability, the ease, the joy, and like the feeling of success even before it comes, right? Just notice right now, right? What is coming up for you? Does your answer shift when you consider that you could go to your next audition and book a show? Right.

And so I feel like the value of just pausing to notice and even acknowledge if you have this question is just get clear for you. What are you imagining is the trade off? When you ask yourself and say, I don't want this bad enough, what's the equivalent of like waiting in line, trading your time for money? Like what's, what is the threshold for you? And really, truly, I mean, the value of these coaching tools are that what if your experience didn't have to feel like waiting in an hour long line or didn't have to feel like failure after failure after failure.

What if the experience that you were having changed simply because of the relationship you were creating with auditions, with air quote rejection? Like imagine if every audition you went to didn't feel like shit after and have to like, lay on the couch and cry and call your friend and like sulk over not getting a part, right? And again, we're not minimizing that you're allowed to be human. You're allowed to have your feelings, but I want you to imagine that you could find out you didn't get a part and that you could actually be okay.

If you knew that every time you didn't get something, or every time you didn't get a call back, or every time that you know, you found out that someone else booked their Broadway debut, if you know, if you knew that that moment would not be painful, if that moment didn't spin you out for days or weeks or months, or even your entire career, right?

Like if those moments. Didn't take away from your life experience, but even getting the No created more fire and momentum and fuel for where you're going. Like, would your answer be the same? Would your answer be the same if you believed that you could make any amount of money that you wanna make in a job that feels good for you and still pursue your career, would your answer be the same?

Would you still say that this journey was not worth it? Would you still be thinking that you don't want it bad enough? Right. Like I really do think this question comes from this place of thinking, we need to sacrifice the quality of our life, versus just really leaning into that you can have whatever life experience you wanna have along the way.

If you could have any life experience you want to have along the way and that your self-confidence, your self-worth didn't have to take a hit every time you didn't book a job, would it be worth it to you? Would you still want to pursue the thing that you love, the thing that lights your heart up? The thing that makes you who you are? My guess is the answer is, fuck yeah. If you knew you get to be who you wanna be and do what you wanna do, and it was guaranteed, it would be worth it to you.

And it's not a problem if that is your thought. And honestly, it's not a problem if ultimately you're like, yeah, even if it was still, you know, I get to have exactly what I want. I just don't wanna do that. Great. Again, that's not a problem. It's your choice. You get to love your decision and you get to trust whatever the right answer is for you. But again, if you're listening to this podcast, my guess is that that is not your answer.

It is worth it to you. It is worth it to you. And you do want it, otherwise you wouldn't be. Again, like we do make choices in our career to prioritize auditions and final callbacks to spend the money to fly across the country, to make ourselves available for these things. And what I wanna offer is that there are ways to create and craft your life around this lifestyle, around this career path to feel really fucking good.

To have the tools to navigate your brain so that no matter what you feel excited and inspired for the next job, right? If that was the experience, would it be worth it to you? If the answer is yes, I want you to come join us inside of The Performers Plan, like this is the work that we do. I don't ever want you. To walk away from this career telling yourself that you didn't want it bad enough when the bad enough, the air quote bad enough that you were imagining was not the reality that you had to live through, right?

You don't have to live through being poor your entire career, you know, like sacrificing all of your family functions to prioritize your career, saying no to things like, I feel like that is the overall image that we portray when our brain is like, Nope, you just don't want it bad enough. It's not worth that trade off. What if the trade off is so much juicier and it's like, what if it isn't a trade off? What if wanting it badly enough means I'm willing to redefine my career and my relationship with my career?

I am willing to spend time thinking about what does success mean to me? I am willing to train my brain to be in love with auditions, so that every time I go, I feel successful and empowered and certain about what my next move is. Right. What if it was like the trade off is spending time practicing believing that you are talented, practicing believing that you are an actor, singer, or dancer today, even when you're not on a contract, practicing separating your worth from your career worth and your professional worth.

Right? Like what if that is the trade off? If that's the trade off, are you willing to commit to having the career that you want to have? And then would it be worth it? Would you still want it? This is what I offer my clients, the guarantee of honoring your desire without taking the out, without deciding. Yeah, like, you know, that's nice for them. But I just don't want it that badly. Just get accurate. What is your brain imagining is the trade off? And when you ask yourself, do I want it bad enough? What are you imagining?

I think honestly, that is the juiciest shit you will ever hear come out of my mouth.

Actually, maybe not. But truly, No matter where you are in your career, it's not too late to realize that like, oh, that thought isn't coming from the highest self. That's coming from the part of my brain that's in fear and doubt. And again, I wanna remind you that for some people that still might be true. That still might be, I'm not willing to go to auditions even when they feel good. That's just not the lifestyle I imagine for myself. Perfect. Amazing, beautiful. That gets to be the perfect decision for that person.

Again, if you're listening to this podcast, my guess is that you do want to have the career that you want and you can decide right now. That you want it badly enough just by getting clear on what is badly enough. I want it enough to trade this. I am willing to do these things in order to do what I love, and I'm willing to not have those things be a burden or make them a problem. I'm willing to accept them as part of my career path and part of my life, and I can build my life around it. Okay. Again, I am going to continue to invite you to come do this work inside of The Performers Plan.

It's a lifetime membership program and community, and when you are in this community, this is the energy that we operate from. We are like loving our lives, loving our careers, and creating new possibilities. We're not just living by the stereotypical collective consciousness idea of what it looks like to be a professional. You get to decide because you are the creator of your life, and if this feels radical and new, perfect. Beautiful. If it feels like something you've heard before, perfect. Beautiful. Either way. If you want this to be your lived in experience, come join us. We're having a lot of freaking fun doing it. You can go to kelliyoungmanwellness.com/magic to join us. All right. I will meet you back here for another episode. 

Hey, I wanna invite you to get started, cuz if this is blowing your mind, imagine the impact of when we actually work together. There are two ways to work with me privately, one-on-one, or inside of The Paradigm with high quality community. Either way, you're gonna go to kelliyoungmanwellness.com/launch to book your free launch call. We're gonna spend 60 minutes together with you and your unique dream and vision to co-create a plan to get you there. Let's freaking go.