In this episode, I'm coming in hot with some Truth Mirror moments about dropping your perfectionism around your vibration, and then we're gonna dive into creating Core Beliefs about who you wanna be on an identity level. You ready? Let's do it.

Hello, you are listening to the Love Your Life as a Performer podcast. I'm Kelli Youngman and I am The Life Coach for Performers. I help actors, singers, and dancers love themselves and their lives way more. So keep listening to learn how you can love your life, both on and off the stage.

Hello and welcome back to episode 35 of the Love Your Life as a Performer podcast. Oh man, I just am feeling so nostalgic and so appreciative, and I think it honestly ties into today's episode really well. And so, I just wanna share that today I have had such a day. I woke up, I'll give you a little update. I woke up and to be completely honest, I clean my bathroom and my sister always makes fun of me because I find cleaning my bathroom really therapeutic. There's nothing better than just like taking an amazing, delicious bath in a nice pristine tub, right?

But today, look, I really went in, I got the freaking drain snake out, like took the screws off the little drain thingy and went all the way down in that baby and cleaned the shit out of my like literal pipes. And there is nothing more empowering than that. But I have to say, the day started out feeling a little heavy. And so I cleaned my bathroom, took a bath, washed my hair, had a client call. Um, what else? Did a self tape, caught up with a friend. Went to like an alumni event at Fordham, which was like really surprising, but also very inspiring about creating financial wealth and like a financial future and like investments and property, I don't know, like buying apartments.

It just ended up being such a range of a day, and along the way, there were parts where I felt like a total fucking badass. There were parts that I was like, what am I doing with my life? There were parts where I was like being really sentimental and just feeling a wide array of human emotions. The reason why I mention this is because I've seen it coming up as a theme for my clients lately, there's like this idea that our emotions are supposed to be like steady or that our vibration has to be steady or that we are supposed to be at some like, amazing, feel good place. And our success is determined by how well we hold that frequency, how long we hold that frequency, what percentage we're able to hold that frequency.

And what I am finding more and more for myself and what I continue to invite my clients to see is that when we are having this idea or this image of like a hundred percent is the goal, really unintentionally, we're striving for some idea of perfection. Which then creates this expectation and this disappointment when we're not in that space one a hundred percent of the time.

But here's the thing, who said that we're supposed to be in one specific high vibe frequency for our entire life? That's just like literally not possible. And so I've just been really allowing myself to move throughout my day and just witness and be with my emotions, to be with myself and to let that be okay. Right? To let myself rest when I need to rest. Let myself feel down when I'm feeling down, let myself feel confused when I'm feeling confused. Right. And of course, with all of the tools that we gain, with all of the levels of consciousness that we open ourselves up to, we have a choice. We always have a choice with what story we're going to tell ourselves, right?

But I think that when we're striving for this perfection, when we're striving for, you know, a hundred percent of the time feeling a specific way - like really then when we're not doing that, we're like telling this story of like, oh my gosh, I'm so messy, or, oh my gosh, I don't know who I am, or, oh my gosh, I don't know what I'm doing. I shouldn't feel this way. Right. We make the inconsistency a problem instead of really just acknowledging like, of course. Of course, I feel different ways at different things, like of course, different circumstances are going to create reactions or responses or, you know, make me feel certain ways. But when we lump it all together, Unintentionally, we start creating a narrative about ourselves, right?

A narrative that something has gone wrong, a narrative that there's something to fix or solve, rather than solving for, and I don't even know if it's solving, but like learning how to navigate and be in different feelings without making it a problem. Because, yes, of course. At the end of the day, we don't want our circumstances to dictate how we feel a hundred percent of the time, because we always have a choice. We always have our thoughts that allow us to be conscious and to choose how we wanna feel. And that doesn't mean. That we have to make ourselves wrong when someone makes a comment and our brain automatically gets mad at it or our brain has like a moment of being confused or like making it mean something, right?

Like, That is 100% normal. It's from there, having the awareness to see and to get curious and be like, huh, that is really interesting. And like I'll give you just like an example of like, someone asked me recently, are you still, you know, performing? And I witnessed myself get very defensive and very frustrated and almost a little like angered by that statement. And it was like, okay, I'm like having that response, that emotion, and with all of the tools, with all of my knowledge, I get to get curious and I mean, that is something I coach clients through... I feel like that could be a whole episode in itself. I feel like I say that every episode, but like truly right?

It's like, oh, okay, there's just a part of me that's feeling some type of way about my career. There's a part of me and a part of my artist self that wants to be acknowledged and expressed. There's a part of me that has a desire that isn't being witnessed or fulfilled, and that's totally okay, right? It's not a problem that my brain went to the space of feeling a little defensive or annoyed by that question. And, I get to like not make that my habitual response. I get to not be triggered by that if I don't wanna be. And, it's not a problem when I am. Is that making sense? I know I like really jumped into this today, but I think it's gonna tie into what I wanna talk about today on the podcast.

So I actually have a couple things that I wanna talk about today. First, I'm just gonna invite you to come back to your core beliefs and your core identity of who you are being. And this is something that we've been working on inside of The Paradigm, is really giving ourselves time to incorporate a core belief about yourself, a core belief at the identity level. And when you do this, it's not just something that you sometimes believe about yourself. It's something that you know deep in your bones.

And so for me, the way this connects to the story I told earlier is like something that I've created as a core belief about myself and you can try it on, is that I am the girl who can figure it out. I can figure it out. I am capable of figuring shit out and I can do anything that I choose to do and like I'm just thinking about, I remember when I had a clogged drain or whatever, like I went out and I like bought literally like this industrial freaking snake. Like, you know, like the thing you put down and it has like a, I don't know, it has like a windy little crank and it's like, Heavy duty shit. I remember when I bought that and I remember feeling like such a fucking badass when I used that. And I got all that shit outta my drains and I just like felt like unstoppable. Right.

And I feel like I remember distinctly when I created this belief, and actually I can't remember if I mentioned this or not on the podcast yet, but I have a light hanging above my desk where I'm sitting right now. That required, like, you know, those things that go into the ceiling to like anchor it and. It just makes it look beautiful, right? So I have this like light, this pendant light that has like a sort of like ropey cord, but it was, it basically has two anchor points that needed to be attached to the ceiling. And I remember it was right after I had submitted my application for the first round of the 200k Mastermind back in, gosh, that must have been 2021.

And I remember submitting my application and being like, I can do anything. I literally can do anything I freaking decide. So I remember getting a hammer. I got tools. I was like putting this shit in, and I hung up this lamp or this pendant lamp by myself, and my self-concept shifted. In that moment, literally, I became like unfreaking unstoppable. There's literally nothing I can't do. And then like I had submitted my application and then like a couple, maybe even a day or two later, I found out I got accepted and then I was like, holy fuck, I'm the girl who can do anything. I'm the girl who can do it. And so, this has become part of my core beliefs about myself.

And it's been interesting because, you know, like last week on the podcast I shared how I went through like a little bit of a depressive season and a little bit of a challenging winter. And it's so funny because, I've done a podcast on Identity Amnesia and like it still happens for me when I'm like, wait a second, who am I? How did I get here? What is going on? But like today, something about cleaning out my bathtub drain again, I was just like, wow. There is nothing I cannot do. I'm the girl who can do it. Right? I'm the version of me that can figure anything out, and that has been so fun to plug back into.

So I wanna invite you to start imagining what are the core beliefs that you want to have about yourself at an identity level that can go with you - no matter what. Right. And I'll just share too, like even that one core belief translates in so many other ways, right? When it comes to troubleshooting in my business, troubleshooting in my career, and just seeing like there's nothing I cannot figure out. And so you can spend some time, I'll share a couple more of my core beliefs, but really it's just like, what is the identity of you that you want to be like? It really is that simple.

We get to decide every single day who we are being, what state we are existing in, what our chosen identity is, right? It's created by us. No one else informs who we are. We do. Our identity comes from our own consciousness, from our own decision about who we are, right?

And so for me, it's like I'm the girl who can figure it out. There's nothing I can't do. People love being nice to me. I love being an uplifter. I love knowing that things are always working out for me. I love being resilient as fuck. I love being smart and becoming more me every single day. Right. Like, I don't know. Those are just the ones that are coming to the top of my brain, but it's like these are things that I know to be true about myself.

And you can really take this and run with it and decide. Members of The Paradigm have been working on core beliefs about themselves in relationship to their careers, in relationship to just like how they move through the world as humans, but also their relationship to money, right? Like your core belief could be, I'm amazing with money. I trust myself with money. I make great financial decisions, right? And even if it doesn't feel true yet, you can start practicing the belief and showing yourself day by day by day, and collecting the evidence of how that's already true, right? You can literally just decide what you want to be true about you and then go to work to be that. To live that and to step into it, right?

Because when we see it in our mind, when we hold it as a belief, we will experience it more of the time. And when you take the time to define this, to write it out, you could even record yourself in a voice memo saying the things you are in the present tense, right, and then listen to it on repeat. Say it out loud, like write it down, affirm it to yourself on a regular and consistent basis. And it's just like such an amazing tool to have so that when you are experiencing some Identity Amnesia, it's not a problem. You can just show your brain and remind your brain, wait a second, this is who I am. This is who I know myself to be, and this is who I'm choosing to be.

I'm choosing to be the version of me that is fully resourced, that has access to doing big shit - no matter what. That has access to trusting myself even in challenging circumstances where things are uncertain. No matter what, I am the version of me that trusts myself, right. Try it on. Decide what you want your core beliefs to be and then be them. Okay. And you know, I was gonna say, I feel like this honestly needs to be a whole entire other podcast, but it feels important for me to just say this today, is that, it is safe for you to love what you've got going on.

It's safe for you to lean in and love what you've got going on and like, honestly, that could be a core belief too. Like I love what's happening for me. I always love and cherish what is happening for me. Something that I've been seeing and witnessing in myself, but also in clients, is also just remembering and acknowledging that what you have going on is the number one priority for you. Right. And I think especially with social media, it's so easy to see other people's lives, things that they got going on. And it can be like this subtle subconscious shift of like, oh, well, I thought something good was happening in my life, but now I look over there and that person has this other big thing going on, and so I'm behind, right? Or I'm not on track. Or things aren't working out for me and you know, there should be more, bigger, better things happening. And then we use it against ourselves when then we don't feel good when we're witnessing other people's success or happiness or accomplishments or celebrations. Right.

And it's like, What does it look like to really put your blinders on sometimes, right. Not to say that we can't acknowledge or witness or celebrate others, but like what does it look like to know, to freaking know, that what is happening for you right now is perfect. That it serves your highest good, that it's amazing that what you have going on in your life right here, right now is freaking amazing. And what if you leaned into a core belief of like, I love what's going on for me. I am invested in what I am creating. I celebrate and cherish who I am today. Right. Like imagine if those were your core beliefs about your life. And you weren't constantly looking outside of you thinking that someone else knows better than you, that someone else has it figured out in a way that you're like missing an important integral piece to your own happiness, right? That's just a thought.

And when you allow yourself, like I was talking about at the beginning of the episode, when you allow yourself to move through your day and your life with ease, even in the ups and downs, even in the inbetweens or the air quote imperfection of frequencies or vibration, knowing that it's not a problem, knowing that that's totally normal and you can still love what you've got going on. Imagine who you get to be experiencing your life and the magic that you become available to in your own life when you are truly in belief that magical shit is happening for you too, right? Imagine if that was your core belief. Cool magical shit happens to me all of the time.

I can't take credit for that. That was a thought that came from one of the members of The Paradigm. Cool shit happens to me all the time. Imagine if that was your core belief. Okay, so just to recap. You are going to spend some time writing down your core beliefs about you. What are you ready to believe about yourself in this freaking life?

And feel free to borrow some of my thoughts, to try them on, but really like find what lights you up. Find what feels giddy and shiny and sparkly in your body when you say it out loud and then write it down. Record yourself. Listen to it. Say it out loud. And keep reaffirming it until it becomes in your bones freaking truth, knowing and trusting that you genuinely are exactly, exactly where you are supposed to be.

Okay, listen, this is part of the work we do inside of The Paradigm. It's part of my process with my clients is really choosing and knowing that you get to decide who you wanna be. In this one and only life, there are no freaking rules. And when you break out of thinking the same way and choosing new beliefs and living into those beliefs, your entire life changes. Okay, I wanna invite you right now to go to kelliyoungmanwellness.com/launch and book your freaking launch call. It is a free 60 minute consultation where we are gonna deep dive into who you're ready to become and what it's gonna take for you to get there.

And I'm gonna show you exactly how coaching is going to support you in becoming the person, the version, the performer, having the life and career that you wanna have. This work is not secondary. When you do this work first, not even first, but as you're building your career, as you're taking the action, as you are, you know, deciding intentionally where you're going, one, you're gonna just be taking totally different actions from a different self-concept, but two, you're just gonna get there faster when you're choosing beliefs that are in support of the thing you're creating. Okay?

This is part of the process, and I promise when you do this, it's supercharges everything you're creating. Because it's coming from the version of you that's already created it. It's coming from the version of you that's already in belief and living the life, the version of you that has the things you're wanting to create. It's so different when your core beliefs are shaping and informing your identity first, and then you take action from there. Okay, so go to kelliyoungmanwellness.com/launch and book your launch call today. Let's freaking go. I have never been more energized and ready to support you, and now is the time. All right, I'll meet you back here for another episode.

I hope you enjoyed today's episode, and if you did, make sure to share it with a friend who is also an actor, singer, or dancer. You can also help spread the word by leaving us a review wherever you listen to podcasts in order to help people find this resource. Lastly, you can find me on Instagram @kelliyoungmanwellness, and if you're interested in coaching, make sure to head to kelliyoungmanwellness.com/waitlist to join my list now. See you soon.