Ep 30: Possibility Play

In this episode, I'm sharing something that I call Possibility Play. It is a way to explore your options from a place of abundance rather than putting yourself in a lose lose situation. You ready? Let's do it.

Hello, you are listening to Love Your Life as a Performer podcast. I'm Kelli Youngman and I am The Life Coach for Performers. I help actors, singers, and dancers love themselves in their lives way more so. Keep listening to learn how you can love your life, both on and off the stage.

Hello and welcome back to episode 30 of The Love Your Life as a Performer Podcast. You know, It's so funny because as I'm saying that, I mean, I am a human and I have lots of thoughts and I have lots of ideas and I have lots of shifts and energy changes, and I've really leaned into allowing myself to be whoever I wanna be in this moment.
Okay. And so, I shared something on my Instagram recently where I kind of feel like I'm just like going into this evolution. It feels kind of like a rebirth, and there's some ways that the title Life coach for performers has been really fun and simple and direct and expansive, and there's some ways that that title sometimes feels limiting and restrictive and just like not as all encompassing as I know that I am. And again, as a coach, it is not lost on me that the thing that changes how I feel about that title, which is completely neutral, is my own thoughts. Okay? It's not lost on me, and right now, It does feel like I am just like having such a resurgence of love.

Love for my life, love for what I do, love for my clients, love for my partner, love for the Universe. Like I am literally just oozing love these days, and it's been so refreshing. And one of the things that I've really noticed is that, you know, my clients are thriving and they are experiencing so much growth and they are being willing to feel their feelings and go so fucking deep and.

Honestly, like a lot of that was just solidified throughout Momentum Week. And if you missed Momentum Week, I wanna let you know that right now the replays are still available. So if you're listening to this at the time, Of this episode being released, literally March 1st, 2023. You can still go to kelliyoungmanwellness.com/momentum to get access to the replays.

I honestly am not sure how much longer I'm gonna leave them up. So if you wanna catch the replays and the magic that happened during Momentum Week, it was literally the most valuable training I've ever done. I highly encourage you to take advantage of that now.

But yeah, as I was saying, I just feel like everyone in my world benefits from me feeling my feelings and learning how to do that themselves and learning how to expand their capacity to engage and receive the love that's around you, right? Like that changes your life. And the thing is too, like I've been really just conscious and aware of saying that like, yes, while all this love feels so yummy and juicy and delicious- life is 50/50, and I'm sometimes like a little resistant to that idea because I'm like, no, you can feel good more of the time, but the truth is when you aren't resisting the lows and you're valuing the lows and seeing truly how they're only ever an indicator of your highest highs and the height of your highs,  that's when you're really willing and able to feel better more of the time. When you aren't resisting it. But It was something that kind of came out of my mouth during Momentum Week, that when you are willing to feel the depths of your lows, it's literally only ever an indicator of the height of your highs. What? Yes, seriously. And like that truly is like a whole nother episode to come. But just go get the replays. You're gonna wanna see all of the magic and just witness it firsthand for yourself.

Okay? So this episode is gonna be short and sweet, and I know I say that a lot, but I think for realsies, this is gonna be short and sweet because I have a little bit of a time constraint, and I wanted to make sure that you didn't go a week without a freaking episode. Because I know that you're waiting for these and that they add value to your day and your week, and they provide huge transformation. At least from what I hear, what people tell me.

So what I wanted to offer was something that truly served my clients a lot this week, which was what I call Possibility Play. And again, if you follow me on Instagram, which you should. You might have seen this in my stories cuz I shared a little baby snippet and I wanted to put it on the podcast so that there is an episode that is here and present and recorded, what's the word I'm looking for? Saved. Like archived  for you to come back to. Okay, so on this episode we are talking about Possibility Play, and this is just a simple exercise that you can use when you are making decisions or, you know, seeking a solution or navigating something that feels a little challenging.

Okay, because most of the time. When we are, you know, faced with a circumstance, faced with a decision, faced with something that is just not necessarily ideal... our brains want to like pick the worst of the worst options and look at the horrible shit we have to choose from, right? Think of it like there's usually the thing that you want to do, but now somehow is not available or you've been put in a predicament where you just know that you don't wanna do this thing. But then the other alternative is just this other thing that you also don't wanna do, right? So like our brain sometimes presents a lot of lose, lose decisions to be made.

And what I wanna offer is that you can offer your brain the option to make lots of options. Lots of possibilities. But seriously, I want you to consider that each outcome that you can imagine has multiple different outcomes from each decision, right? It's like the idea that life is choices, and there's always like a choose your own adventure to your decisions.

Let me give you like maybe a more tangible solution so that you can have your brain think about this. So I want you to imagine that your agent emails you and says, Hey, there's this last minute audition and tape that I want you to record, and it's due tomorrow. Can you get it in? Right? Let's just imagine this is a hypothetical scenario, a last minute tape request, and you already have plans, right? Let's even make it super dramatic, cuz again, our brain loves the drama. But I want you to imagine you get a last minute tape for a project that you're really excited about and your brain is like, but wait a second, I have dinner with my best friends.

Okay. And so just notice what's already coming up for you. In this hypothetical example, there's a last minute audition. For a project that you're excited about and there's dinner with your best friends and it's been on the calendar for weeks. Okay, now I'm gonna guess your brain offered up while I either do the tape and like cancel these plans that I've really been looking forward to or I don't do the tape. I miss out on this opportunity and I like honor my agreement and my commitment to my friends, and then I'm gonna have to be disappointed. Okay? Just notice if those were the two options that your brain came up with. And it's not good, bad, right or wrong, but I want you to see that that's just two possibilities. And this is also a little of an example of all or nothing thinking, right? It's like I either get this thing or I don't. I either do this other thing and I miss out, right? It's very like one way or the other. And so when you're in Possibility Play, this is what I do with my clients.

I invite them to give me at least three to 10 different options. And I want you to imagine you like shake. And like each different outcome can go with each different solution. Okay? So even in the example that I just gave, I either do the tape and like, let's imagine your brain's like I either do the tape and I make myself and my agents happy, or I don't.

And if I don't do it, I'm not gonna be happy and my agent's gonna be disappointed. Okay. So even just in that one little example, if we shake it up and mix and matchy, it's like, what if I don't do the audition, I'm not disappointed, I'm excited, and my agents are supportive. RIght? Like I just want you to imagine what is happening in your brain when you just start taking it to different possibilities, right?

Or I do the tape and maybe doing the tape makes me disappointed. I don't know. Right. It's just like, I'm not saying these things have to be true, but it's like showing your brain that there's so many outcomes and possibilities that you haven't even considered yet. Okay. So you can do that for both ends of the spectrum. It's like, okay, I either go to dinner and honor my commitment to my friends, or I don't do the audition, right? Like see how it's one or the other. You can mix and match in those options and then here comes the wild stuff. Okay?

I want you to imagine that you get to have it all. What if you don't even have to choose? What if it gets to be easy and you can get exactly what you want? I've actually walked my clients through this scenario, or similar scenarios, especially with self tapes, right? Because the thing is too, when you are thinking about self tapes, your brain's like, oh my God, it's gonna take three hours. It's gonna be a lot of work to find a reader. It's gonna be. This, this, and this. It's gonna be hard to memorize these lines. The packet is so big, right? Like all of the thoughts you have, and I want you to imagine that instead of it taking so much work, instead of it taking so much effort, you could actually do the self tape and go to dinner with your friends.

Now, I want you to imagine too, if your brain is like, I could do the self tape and be rushed, and so the self tape doesn't even come out that good. And then I could still go to dinner with my friends, or I could do the self tape quickly, it's my best work yet, and I get to go to dinner with my friends and have the best time.

Right. Like notice if your brain is still wanting to kind of create like it's like win lose, or like you can't have the best of both worlds, or you get to have the best of all of the worlds. Okay. I want you to think about how many different possibilities and outcomes and options become available when you expand your brain past all of.
And the other thing that I'll add is like, you don't have to do all of the options. Honestly. The Possibility Play isn't even necessarily to, you know, narrow down like legit options, but sometimes it's just getting the ideas out of your brain, getting the pipes unclogged, getting the juices flowing to see what else is possible. Right. How can you let this be easy and how can you let it be possible for you to have what you want to have?

Now, in my hypothetical example, I also didn't specify, well, actually, I did specify that it's an audition that you're excited about right now. I also want you to imagine if it was an audition you weren't excited about, and if it was an audition that you weren't excited about and you told your agents you were gonna pass, that you didn't have to feel guilty about it, and that instead you could feel excited about it, right?

Like there's just different ways for the scenario to play out than the immediate sort of habitual default response and circumstance that your brain wants to present. Okay, so the Possibility Play is all about creating possibilities, creating options, creating. Like literal, like branches of possibilities that your brain is not necessarily going to. We're just carving new pathways and in the creative thinking, in the Possibility Play in the expansion of what you're willing to believe could happen - a lot of times it just starts opening up doors and thoughts and solutions that literally didn't even come to mind when you first were solving for it.

The other thing that I love about Possibility Play is it just gives you back so much freedom and choice and agency, because the default way of thinking is that like you're just stuck. Like you're stuck between a rock and a hard place. Right? Versus like believing that there's just endless ways to have it work out in a way that serves you, that has it worked out in a way that serves everyone. And that honoring what feels true for you, honoring what feels like the best choice for you could end up being a positive outcome for everyone, right? Like sometimes we think if we get what we want, someone else has to suffer. And it's like, what if by honoring what's most true for you, even if it's uncomfortable in the moment, even if it's uncomfortable in implementing that decision, that it genuinely could have a positive impact on everyone involved.

And it's like also the, the fun thing about this too is like when we think like, oh, I have to do this or otherwise people are gonna be angry at me, just know it's like equally a possibility for you to do the thing that you don't wanna do, right, trying to please someone else. And they could still be angry. Right. So it's literally putting all of the possibilities in one cup, shaking it up and like seeing what comes out, like mix and matching the possibilities and the solutions and like, I dunno... it's almost like I just had this image.

Maybe this will be useful of like, you know, those word magnets and you can like mix up all the words and make lots of different sentences and like, no matter how many words you have, you can reorder them and change 'em up. I want you to think about your options and like all the different parts of your, like air quote Stories that you're creating, like the decision. The impact of your decision, what's gonna be created as a result? Like I just want you to think about what would happen if you start mixing up and switching the orders and changing just like what you normally couple with each one.

Okay? So that's Possibility Play. And this is something that I do with my clients all of the freaking time. And when you do this, it unchains, releases you, opens you up to so much more freedom, so much more choice, so much more lightness and playfulness in the decisions you're making. So that you don't have to avoid things, you can actually just pick and decide and choose what supports you most in the moment and from there, then you make your next best choice. Then you make the next best decision with whatever information you currently have, knowing that it can change, knowing that you can change your mind, knowing that at the end of the day, it's really, truly all okay and everything is always working out for you.

Okay, so that's what I got for you. The last thing I wanna say is that thinking this way, doing this work, training your brain to respond and you know, create new neural pathways. The shit is life changing. I feel like for the past few weeks I've been trying to be very serious about how I'm communicating this and saying it in the most perfect way, and there's just like literally no more perfect way than to say that when you're thinking and deciding and choosing and living and loving from a very, very empowered place, it completely changes the lens at which you see yourself, your circumstances, the people around you and your life.

So, I want you to go to kelliyoungmanwellness.com/launch and book your launch call today. I was saying at the beginning of the episode, and I don't know if it ever ended up coming out of my brain because, I feel like I'm just thinking very fast, especially in this kind of time constraint of making this episode. And what I wanted to share is that like I've literally just been feeling like the role that I'm playing in my clients' lives right now is being a love and dream amplifier. It is not a coincidence that my clients are all experiencing the best relationships of their lives, best, like most enjoyable fucking contracts of their careers, like having these breakthroughs. And again, not saying it always feels amazing. Sometimes there's discomfort on their way to their right, but like they're creating the lives of their dreams, and as a result, they continue to be a magnet for all of the opportunities beyond their wildest fucking dreams.

Like it is not a coincidence. When you are in a container and you give yourself the space to be curious, to give your dreams like serious committed airtime week after week after week, it literally changes the trajectory of your life and career. It changes how you will see yourself for the rest of your life. And there's literally no better time to do this work with me. Go to kelliyoungmanwellness.com/launch and schedule a call because truly it's less about booking time with me and more about scheduling time with your dream. Your dream on stage, your dream behind the camera, your dream in your relationships, in your financial circumstances. Like your dream life is created by you every single day.

And when you step into this work, it is literally impossible for you to ever be the same on the other side. It's fucking magic. And if you aren't experiencing it yet, you're missing out. It literally is so freaking worth it to get to know yourself at this level, to become so intimate with your emotions, and to just also then have the capacity to experience so much more joy and to receive and engage with your success more of the time. That's all I got for you today. All right. I will meet you back here for another episode.

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You can find me on Instagram @kelliyoungmanwellness, and if you're interested in coaching, make sure to head to kelliyoungmanwellness.com/waitlist to join my list now. See you soon.