Love Your Life as a Performer

Ep 28: Slowing Down Your High-Achieving, Over Achieving Tendencies

February 08, 2023 Kelli Youngman
Love Your Life as a Performer
Ep 28: Slowing Down Your High-Achieving, Over Achieving Tendencies
Show Notes Transcript

In this episode, we're gonna talk about the high-achieving overachieving tendencies of performers, and hopefully invite you to slow down and witness everything that you are already freaking doing. This is gonna bring a lot more celebration into your life. You ready? Let's do it.

For a full transcript, go to podcast.kelliyoungmanwellness.com.

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 In this episode, we're gonna talk about the high-achieving overachieving tendencies of performers, and hopefully invite you to slow down and witness everything that you are already freaking doing. This is gonna bring a lot more celebration into your life. You ready? Let's do it.

Hello, you are listening to The Love Your Life as a Performer podcast. I'm Kelli Youngman, and I am The Life Coach for Performers. I help actors, singers, and dancers love themselves and their lives way more, so keep listening to learn how you can love your life, both on and off the stage.

Hello and welcome back to episode 28 of the Love Your Life is a Performer podcast. I am in a mood of appreciation and slowness and just really freaking savoring this moment. I was thinking about it on my walk to get some wine, and I was thinking about how I'm just really fucking proud of myself for choosing to begin this journey. Oh my gosh, I'm gonna get emotional, but I've just been really deeply thinking about the ripple effects of my work as a coach. My decision to step into this work for myself and for my clients, and I have to be honest, sometimes it is really scary for me.

Still, it's scary for me because I'm a human and I can see that this vision for my life and for my purpose on this planet and my contribution to the world is growing and expanding, and I'm so fucking delighted by that. And yeah, of course, as a human, sometimes that can feel really scary. And so I'm just so grateful for the friends and the coaches and the community and the resources that I've given myself over the years, over the last two years of owning a business and still actively pursuing my career in the arts to just honor that calling and to trust myself as this all continues to unfold and develop. I was kind of just scrolling through my Instagram feed and it's fun to see just like how far I've come in such a short amount of time in like really owning and believing and trusting my brilliant ideas, and I just, I guess I'm feeling very nostalgic and celebratory.

And for anyone out there who is like thinking of sharing your own voice in your own unique way, I just want to encourage you to start to know that if it's calling you, if it's part of what makes you unique on this planet and it's your vision and your mission and it feels big, that's okay. It's allowed to feel big and you can just keep inviting yourself to step into it more and more and more, and, yeah. Shit's gonna get weird and fun and surprising, and there will be bigger things coming down the pipeline, and you can trust that you'll be ready for them and that they're gonna show up in perfect timing for you, no matter what that looks like, whether it's in your performing career in parallel to your performing career, literally, whatever that looks like for you. Take that as it is. I'm just having a very nostalgic moment, right. Ah. Okay.

And so with that, I wanna jump into today's episode. And what I wanna talk about today is this idea of what it looks like to celebrate yourself as an overachiever. And, I don't know about you, but I think that especially to be in this field, to be a performer, to choose intentionally to pursue a career where you are actively growing and honing your skills and you know, wanting to be the best at what you do. I feel that's like kind of all been driven into our brains in one way or another. I think it does create this idea of perfection and this sort of striving for better, best, more, again, just like perfect in a way. This idea of striving for perfection. Right, and so I think it's very common for people who choose this career path to already be excellent, right?

Like you've made it through the ranks. If you're now choosing to pursue this professionally, whether that means it started out at a competition dance studio, or kind of doing your community theater production that kind of sparked your desire and your love and your passion for your craft - like there was a moment where you could have done this recreationally, but you were so fucking good at it that it was like, holy shit, this is what I was put on this planet to do. This is what I want to do with my life. This is my life's purpose.

And so again, you had the out, you had the out to be like, okay, maybe I'm just doing this for funsies, but no, you're like really good at this. You're like already the best. Right? Which is what inspired you to keep going and to pursue this as a career. Right? And so again, it. Everyone who has gotten to this point already has the talent. You have the skills, and of course, are we gonna like keep being students and honing our craft and diving into the work in a deep way that's fully embodied and expansive. Yes. Right. And, all of that to say like, I just think it's sort of ingrained in us to keep going and keep training and keep getting better and keep doing more, and keep wanting to be more and more and more and more and more.

And so again, I think maybe I've said this now a million different ways, but like I do think it sometimes creates this common thread of being like overachievers in our lives, because we've had to work really hard to get here. We've had to put in the work, we've had to train for hours. We've gone to programs or not, and we've just dedicated hours of our lives, years of our lives to perfecting this craft.

Right? And so I think that as humans, performers tend to be overachievers. We have very high expectations of ourselves. We have very big goals. We have very strong work ethics. Right, and again, like, I think that's one of the amazing things about being an artist is having that relationship with ourselves where we do want to dive in and find more and explore our craft, right?

Like I think that's an amazing thing. And sometimes I find that with overachievers, because the expectation is so freaking high that it makes it hard for us to acknowledge and embrace and celebrate sometimes where we are. Right. I was talking to a client about this and I was saying that because we're such high achievers, because we've been, like navigating and juggling and managing so many things throughout our lives, right? Because it's rare that we're only on contract, right? It's like maybe you're freelancing and you teach and you rehearse and you're auditioning full-time and you have another part-time gig, right? Like there's a lot of time management that also comes into our field and we're just used to having to navigate a lot of different things.

So we multitask, we take on a lot. Again, it's like this overachieving driving energy that makes us exquisite and biased, totally biased, but it just makes us exceptional. And so when we're used to doing all of the things, sometimes then when we're not doing all of the things, it feels like not enough. Or When we are doing all the things, but maybe we don't have, again, that that big contract that we're waiting on or that end result that we think is gonna make us feel more successful, right?

Like in those moments, if we don't see those things happening, we're just again, in the mode of like more, more, more, keep going, going, going.

So the reason I wanted to talk about this is just like, what does it look like to really slow down and acknowledge all of the shit that's going on in your life? Okay. Like I just think that because we're so conditioned to do so many things, when we're overachievers, that we forget that normal humans don't operate at this level of aspiring for so much and holding so much and just like doing the most. I know for me, like I love to do the most in some ways, and I've really scaled back in what that means and how it feels and like even if I look back on 2022, I think I shared this in one of my podcasts that like, I just was like working on so many changes in my life.

I was like, improving so many areas of my life, while running a business, while pursuing my career, while launching a podcast, while working on thoughts about my body, while doing this, and like just really like, because I have the capacity to do so much ,choosing to hold so much. And then, not fully acknowledging all that was happening.

Okay, so I want you to think about it for you in your life right now. If you identify as someone that is like an overachiever, someone that is highly driven, that is literally navigating lots of different parts of your lives, what does it look like to just stop and witness and acknowledge like, holy fuck, I'm doing a lot. And like the fact that I'm even doing it, I'm killing it. Right?

And again, I'm not talking about hustling and you know, grinding yourself to exhaustion, but like for example, one of my clients, like literally is working full-time, started a business, moved across the country, is like doing all of this work on themselves internally and is like pursuing like the dream relationship of their life.

Okay. And like I think it's so easy when we're overachievers to take out of context that like, it's not enough or that we should have more, or again, like so set on the end result that we're not witnessing the brilliance of what's happening. Like I was just thinking about this client, like the fact that they are pursuing their dreams, period, is a fucking miracle, right?The fact that you choose to pursue your dreams is a miracle, and then anything on top of that is just something that you can acknowledge and celebrate even more, right?

Like if you are teaching, whether it's acting, singing, dancing, you're teaching students and you're like having an impact in young performers lives, or your peers, right? Like if you are an expert in your field and you're working with peers, like just think about how fucking cool that. On top of the fact that you're still actively pursuing your own goals, like, can we just acknowledge that some people in this world, again, it's not good, bad, right or wrong, but some people in this world don't choose to actively live their dream.

Right? And again, it's not good, bad, right or wrong. We're not judging them. We're just witnessing that some people pick a job, they do that thing. Again, it's not a judgment or a measure of their satisfaction in life or not, but it's just like most people, most humans have one thing that they do. And if you are a performer, if you are a multihyphenate person, that word always like that word doesn't necessarily resonate with me, because I think I'm just like all, like, I'm all encompassing. But if that word resonates with you, like you're doing lots of different things, you have different facets to your life, right? It's like, I want you to see that that in itself is amazing.

Right, like if you are actively teaching and you're performing, or if you're actively performing and you have a business, like what we do is mind blowing and choosing to pursue these things and honor all parts of you is exceptional. And like, what does it look like to slow down and witness like, holy fuck. I'm just doing a lot of different things and I wear multiple hats and like again, I really love just like bringing it back to like, this is just all part of who I am. It's not different segments of my life and like I encompass a lot. I hold a lot. I am accomplishing a lot. I am pursuing a lot. And like that in itself is worth celebrating.

And so this might sound like a rambling episode. I don't know. Maybe not. I really just want you to witness that if you are in this field, if you are doing this professionally, you get to already celebrate and witness that you are excellent. If you are pursuing this professionally most of the time, that does include other passions and other avenues for income and other ways that you utilize your gifts on this planet. And like what if you just chose to see that as an amazing freaking thing? Rather than, because again, if you're an overachiever, if you're used to like being very fucking driven, instead of slowing down and saying, you know, like, I gotta keep doing more, I gotta keep going, I gotta do this, I, it's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's just zoom out for a second and really just see and witness and acknowledge yourself for all the ways that you show up, for all the ways that you are actively engaging in your life.

And yeah. Can we streamline these things? Absolutely. Can we make your experience of these areas of your life feel so fucking delish? Absolutely, right. I mean, that's what I do with my clients all day, every day. And it's like just bringing your awareness to the fact that if you are a high achieving overachiever, high achieving, is that the word? Yeah. High achieving overachiever. That is like constantly pursuing perfection of some kind, let's just pump the breaks, zoom out and witness how magnificent you are.

And that's really all I got for this episode. I want you to just sit with that and again, what would change if you were just celebrating all the ways that you're already killing it and like how would that influence how you move forward? How would that energize you to keep going? How would that fill you up instead of sort of spreading you thin?

And so again, I'm just gonna keep reminding you that this is the work that I do with my clients. We untangle and uncouple these ideas of needing to be productive, needing to work harder and do more in order to be successful. And so you can have the capacity to do multiple things, while feeling amazing, right? Like this industry, this career path, this pursuit of your dreams can feel so good. You can feel so fulfilled and have the energy to give to your families, to your loved ones, to your other passions, to your other, you know, desires. All of that's available to you. And that's the work that we do together when you work with me as your coach.

Especially if this episode resonated with you and you're like, OMGG, you're speaking my language. I have lots of desires and I know that I'm here for so much and I'm ready to do it all and have it all. We want you doing that in a way that feels sustainable and fulfilled and fucking happy. And so you can go to kelliyoungmanwellness.com/launch to get on my calendar. Book a launch call, and we can talk about how coaching can support you in your overachieving tendencies so that you can actually slow down, celebrate, and like still have all of these desires and aspirations and goals, but doing it in a way that feels healthy and loving and just nourishing to you and your life, right?

The point of being here is to feel good while we're doing it. And so that's what I help my clients do all day, every day, be exceptional and feel fucking good doing it. All right, I'll meet you back here for another episode.

I hope you enjoyed today's episode, and if you did, make sure to share it with a friend who is also an actor, singer, or dancer. You can also help spread the word by leaving us a review wherever you listen to podcasts in order to help people find this resource.

Lastly, you can find me on Instagram @kelliyoungmanwellness, and if you're interested in coaching, make sure to head to kelliyoungmanwellness.com/waitlist to join my list now. See you soon.