Love Your Life as a Performer

Ep 13: Identity Amnesia

October 19, 2022 Kelli Youngman
Love Your Life as a Performer
Ep 13: Identity Amnesia
Show Notes Transcript

In this episode, I'm gonna introduce you to a concept called Identity Amnesia. It's gonna give you an awareness for when you've stepped out of your most up to date current self concept so that you can ground yourself, come back to it, and remember who you really freaking are. You ready? Let's go.

I hope you enjoyed today's episode, and if you did, make sure to share it with a friend who is also an actor, singer, or dancer. You can also help spread the word by leaving us a review wherever you listen to podcasts in order to help people find this resource.

Lastly, you can find me on Instagram @kelliyoungmanwellness, and if you're interested in coaching, make sure to head to kelliyoungmanwellness.com/launch to join my list now. See you soon.

For a full transcript, go to podcast.kelliyoungmanwellness.com.

Join us inside of Momentum with Lifetime Access at kelliyoungmanwellness.com/momentum.



In this episode, I'm gonna introduce you to a concept called Identity Amnesia. It's gonna give you an awareness for when you've stepped out of your most up to date current self concept so that you can ground yourself, come back to it, and remember who you really freaking are. You ready? Let's go.

Hello, you are listening to the Love Your Life as a Performer podcast. I'm Kelli Youngman and I am The Life Coach for Performers. I help actors, singers, and dancers love themselves and their lives way more. So keep listening to learn how you can love your life, both on and off the stage.

Hello, and welcome back to episode 13 of the Love Your Life as a Performer podcast. Today we are gonna be talking about a concept that I created back in March of this year, March 2022, if you're listening and joining us from the future. But I discovered this concept as I was experiencing it and shared it with some of my clients, and we're gonna talk about it today.

It's called Identity Amnesia. And this happens, oftentimes it happens, when we are experiencing moments of growth or challenge or about to experience a huge breakthrough. Okay, so, oftentimes it shows up as like this miniature freak out. It's a panicked moment of like, What the fuck am I even doing?

Right? So it can show up when you're getting really freaking close to a goal, or maybe you just accomplished something great and now you're actually doing the thing, or you could even be experiencing this when you're at a perceived low in your career. Okay.

So when you are in Identity Amnesia, as the name suggests, you are simply forgetting who you are. You've forgotten the identity and the accomplishments, and the skills and the tools that you have and that you possess in this current moment. So it can feel like showing up and like being completely unprepared for something, right?

Like imagine someone just took you and put you in like a NASA.. Nasa... how do you say it? NASA spaceship. And they were like, All right, you're launching in three, two. And you're like, Wait, wait, wait a second. I am not a freaking astronaut. I don't know how to work this spaceship. I don't know what these buttons mean. I, I definitely cannot be in the driver's seat, right now. Like there has been some kind of error. There's no way I should be here, right here, right now. This is a mistake. This is not who I am.

So I want you just think about when you experience these moments and have you experienced these moments, right? It's like, who am I? How did I get here? Why am I doing this? I don't wanna do this anymore. And it can feel like a little bit of a tantrum or even a panic, right? Tantrum, panic. Screaming, kicking, crying. And the thing is, is that when we're here, it's not a problem.

But when it's happening to us, we're not actually in a rocket that we don't know how to work. Most of the times, it's like, if we are in a spaceship, it's because we've gone through the training, We have the skills and we have the tools, and we know what we're. Right. But in the moment when we're experiencing the Identity Amnesia, it's like we don't remember. Okay.

So when we are in this feeling, it's just important to ground yourself and come back to who you are. You wanna take the time to remind yourself of who you are now. Because you're never going to find yourself in a scenario that you're not actually equipped for or that you can't figure out, right? Like you have access to the tools, the resources, the knowledge, you have the capacity to hold the responsibility of whatever job you've been given or that you've taken on, or that you're stepping into. Like you wouldn't be stepping into it, if you weren't actually prepared to be there. Like that's just how the Universe works. You wouldn't end up somewhere that was completely in over your head.

Like I find this happens a lot for performers, especially when they haven't been in a show for a while, right? And if you haven't been in a show for a while, your brain might start thinking like, Oh my gosh, I'm not a performer, or I'm not very talented, or I haven't accomplished much. But then like this Performer has like been on Broadway or has like been in a movie or has done these amazing freaking things, right?

Another element of this is like forgetting that there's also so many parts of our personality. We are not just one thing. And within Identity Amnesia, sometimes it can feel like grasping for these different labels and identities and sort of like facades, but again, it, it doesn't have to feel like you're stepping into only one role or one costume or one way of being. It's like remembering that who you are is integrated into your being and there's nothing to find. It's not outside of you.

And so again, you just wanna ground into who you are and remind yourself, I'm safe. I'm here. I'm capable. I know what I'm doing. I can trust myself. Like this is exactly where I am supposed to.

And here's the thing, in the moment, especially if it is something that sort of aligns more with a higher self concept than your most practiced way of being. Like imagine you just booked something, or again, it just feels like a bigger responsibility than you've had in the past. You wouldn't be there if you weren't ready for it, right?

But in these moments of Identity Amnesia, if that higher self concept that you've been practicing and being and living as doesn't feel accessible, the worst case scenario is you would revert to your most practiced way of being. And again, it's not necessarily a problem. It might just make the experience a little bit more challenging or emotionally difficult where there might be a little bit more fear or doubt or uncertainty, but really that's it. Right?

The other thing that could happen is like, again, I was talking about the fear of it all, of like, Oh my God, why did I even do this? Why did I say I do this, I can't do this, and like I don't wanna do this anymore. Almost like a little bit of a resistance of like, Oh my God. This was crazy. Why did I, Why did I say yes to this? Right? But again, that's nothing you can't solve for.

And something that's been really useful for me is coming back to remembering that any feeling we're having in our body, like the chemical makeup of the feeling of the neurons firing in our brain, sending it through our bodies, and like moving from a thought to a feeling and the vibration of what's actually happening chemically, scientifically in our bodies can pass in only 90 seconds, up to two minutes.

Like if we are able to notice the thought, notice the feeling, ground ourselves - our body can restabilize within two minutes. So it's like even just having the awareness of like, Oh no. I'm experiencing some Identity Amnesia. This doesn't feel so great, but you know what I'm gonna acknowledge it, witness it, anchor back in, and give my body a chance to take a deep breath and get back on board with who I know I am.

And like ultimately this is a lesson in one, like really giving yourself the space to acknowledge your brilliance, to acknowledge your accomplishments, and to remind yourself of who you are. Right? And it's also, I think, another opportunity to lean into self trust of leaning into whatever is here in front of you that is making you feel like you don't remember who you are.

Like this is just an opportunity to trust that you wouldn't be here, right? To trust that you know how to handle it, to trust that you have everything you need inside of you to create the experience that you're wanting to have, right? Like you can lean on the tools and skills and your talents and all of the things that have brought you here to this exact moment.

And so as I was mentioning, the worst case scenario is that you have a moment of reverting to your most practiced identity. And again, it's not a problem, but you just wanna have the awareness so that if there has been work you're doing to move out of, let's say, feelings of insecurity or doubt or fear, and that's just been your most practiced way of being, then you can just be super intentional about what you want to create instead, right?

You just don't wanna start using those feelings and that sense of that old past identity to start informing your decisions, your way of being, or the choices that you're making today, right? You get to just know like, okay, I'm just having a momentary lapse of memory about my amazingness and I can plug back into it. I can give myself permission to be aware of what is the truth of who I am today.

And so I'll just remind you having, Identity Amnesia, especially when you're expanding, especially when you're doing big, scary, bold new things and making changes and doing things that are out of your comfort zone - just keep in mind that's like totally normal and to be expected, right? Like that is the exact moment that it will oftentimes happen and you just don't have to use that as a sign to stop or as a sign that something's gone wrong or as a sign that somehow you've put yourself in some kind of circumstance that again, is just like not within your control or within your wheelhouse or something that you're up for, right?

And when you're able to successfully move through Identity Amnesia and you're able to remind yourself of who you are, your self-concept and your identity is only gonna be reinforced and strengthened and become even more ingrained in your body and who you're being, right? Like it's totally not a problem, and you just get to come back to who you are.

So, I would love to give you a little bit of homework, to think about who am I being? What are the amazing things I've accomplished? I find that for my clients, and even for myself, oftentimes this can be a little uncomfortable to really just bathe and luxuriate in the amazingness of who you are. And I wanna be clear that like what you've accomplished doesn't have to be your resume. It could be your resume, right? But it doesn't have to be. It could be literally anything that you're super proud of that makes you who you are. It could be part of your internal work that you've accomplished. Maybe it's just like, I'm super nice to myself now and like that's who I'm being now. Like that's part of my identity that I'm locking in and I'm super proud of.

You can come back to giving yourself permission to feel talented. You can come back to honoring and tapping into the fact that you're a creative being. And like my ideas are genius, right? You can give yourself permission to just go there, go all the way there, 10 outta 10. What does it look like at a 10 outta 10, to enjoy and be proud of and celebrate who you are right now? And like you can also add on the things that you're wanting to create. And the more you're willing to do this, the more you're willing to acknowledge and identify and celebrate what makes you amazing and unique and a hundred percent yourself, the more accessible and practiced it will be for you when you're having moments of Identity Amnesia.

Like you could even just like have this list at the ready, be looking at it, reading it, and again in those moments where you're like, Oh my God, what did I get myself into? I don't know if I can do this. What is happening? I'm like, I cannot do this. I definitely can't. This's too hard. You can just go back to this list and you can just remind yourself of who you and tap back into your power, your self trust, your confidence, your love, and your certainty. That all comes from you and the thoughts that you're actively planting in your brain about you.

So do not be alarmed the next time you are having some Identity Amnesia and if you realize that you've been stuck in this for too long, this is the time. Let's remind you and wake you up to who you freaking are. It can happen in one call, and honestly, this is a lot of why having a coach is so powerful, especially when you're doing big things and changing the world just by who you're being. It is scary and there is growth, and you are gonna need freaking reminders of who you are. And you can move through Identity Amnesia so quickly when you have someone reminding you of who you are and who you're becoming, that's totally enrolled in your vision and in full belief of the big ass shit that you're wanting to create in your life.

A coach anchors you into the future, a coach anchors you into the vision that you're creating, instead of possibly engaging with someone when you're in Identity Amnesia, that's like, you know what? That might be a little bit too much. Just do this instead. It's way easier. Our very loving, well-meaning friends and family don't wanna see us struggling. They don't wanna see us going through the discomfort, so they're always gonna invite us back to safety.

So you just wanna be mindful of who you're speaking to when you are in Identity Amnesia, so that you are not picking up on anyone else's limiting self doubts, fears, or worries, right? You wanna just keep amplifying the safety and security and confidence that you've already been creating.

If you're ready to keep blasting through who you've been to start doing the scary, uncomfortable work of getting to allow yourself to become who you wanna be, let's freaking do it. Go to kelliyoungmanwellness.com/launch to book a call today. And let's look at where you might be getting stuck and how we can remind you of who you are. Alright. I'll meet you back here for another episode.

I hope you enjoyed today's episode, and if you did, make sure to share it with a friend who is also an actor, singer, or dancer. You can also help spread the word by leaving us a review wherever you listen to podcasts in order to help people find this resource.

Lastly, you can find me on Instagram @kelliyoungmanwellness, and if you're interested in coaching, make sure to head to kelliyoungmanwellness.com/launch to join my list now. See you soon.