Love Your Life as a Performer

Ep 12: Embracing the Unknown

October 12, 2022 Kelli Youngman
Love Your Life as a Performer
Ep 12: Embracing the Unknown
Show Notes Transcript

In this episode, we're gonna be talking about the unknown, and I'm gonna give you a new perspective so that you can start relating to it as fun and full of possibility. You ready? Let's go.

I hope you enjoyed today's episode, and if you did, make sure to share it with a friend who is also an actor, singer, or dancer. You can also help spread the word by leaving this review wherever you listen to podcasts in order to help people find this resource.

Lastly, you can find me on Instagram @kelliyoungmanwellness, and if you're interested in coaching, make sure to head to kelliyoungmanwellness.com/launch to join my list now. See you soon.

For a full transcript, go to podcast.kelliyoungmanwellness.com.

Join us inside of Momentum with Lifetime Access at kelliyoungmanwellness.com/momentum.



In this episode, we're gonna be talking about the unknown, and I'm gonna give you a new perspective so that you can start relating to it as fun and full of possibility. You ready? Let's go.

Hello, you are listening to Love Your Life as a Performer podcast. I'm Kelli Youngman and I am the Life Coach for Performers. I help actors, singers, and dancers love themselves and their lives way more. So keep listening to learn how you can love your life -  both on and off the stage.

Hello and welcome back to episode 12 of the Love Your Life as a Performer podcast. Now, before we jump in, I just wanna say that if you have been enjoying the podcast, if things have been landing with you, if they've been resonating with you, if you've been feeling better and applying the things that I'm talking about on the podcast, I just wanna directly invite you right now to go to kelliyoungmanwellness.com/launch and book a call with me today.

Because here's the thing, I just know that I have so many ideas in my brain. And there's so many different tools and concepts that I can share on the podcast, and I know that they work because they've worked for me, they work for my clients, and my clients are getting results. And you might even be getting results from these ideas.

And the thing is, I am sharing these things one at a time, week by week in a schedule and an order that feels good for me and feels fluid to sort of the structure of the podcast. However, when we are working together in a container, you get to experience and receive the coaching that is most relevant for you right here, right now, so that you can move forward with the coaching that best applies for you.

Does that make sense? Right? There's so many different tools and concepts available to you right now, and you don't have to wait until next week, next month, or maybe next year when I finally get around to sharing that one idea on the podcast that's gonna blow your mind and change your whole freaking life, right? You can experience it now. Six months of coaching will literally change your brain for the rest of your life. You can just find out exactly how this would serve you by coming to a launch call. So again, go to kelliyoungmanwellness.com/launch and you can book your consultation now.

Okay, so let's dive into this episode. Today I wanna talk about the unknown. Yes, we're gonna talk about the unknown and I wanna give you a new perspective that will allow you to relate to the unknown in a way that actually feels fun and full of possibility, because that's actually the freaking truth. Okay. But some of the thoughts that I've been hearing people say lately is the idea that the industry is always changing. How can you possibly exist in this industry and figure out how to navigate it when it's always changing? And this idea that you can't plan for the future when you don't know what the future holds. And like all of those ideas that a performer's life is just generally unstable and uncertain and really unhealthy for your mental health.

And I just think this is so important because when we take the time to create a new relationship with the unknown,  the future doesn't have to be this scary, stressful, sort of like wake up in the middle of the night sweating, panicked type of feeling, right? Like we actually can be along on the journey and be open and just like navigate the uncertainty with this attitude and energy of it being our best freaking friend. And so if that doesn't feel true for you yet, do not worry. I'm gonna walk you through it, okay.

But so here's the thing. A lot of times we assume that the unknown is in the future and that we can't make decisions until we know exactly how things are gonna go. And I think the more honest and truthful reality is that we never really know exactly how things are gonna go. Right. We might have an idea. We might have a suggestion, but in most cases, and especially in the life of a performer, that's just not how it goes. The other thing that I find in this scenario is that a lot of performers are attaching the feeling of stability and groundedness to their careers instead of taking on the responsibility to create the stability and the ease for themselves, right. That feeling doesn't actually come from a job. It comes from us and the thoughts we're thinking and the relationship we're creating in our day to day life.

Okay. I actually wanna share a concept that I learned from Dr. Joe Dispenza this past week. I did a two day, nine hour workshop and really got to learn some of his concepts, that look at thought work and coaching just from a slightly different entry point. If you are not familiar with his work, he teaches a lot about Brain waves and meditation and how you can really create the life you wanna live, sort of through like a subconscious reprogramming.

And through having a really deep awareness of who you're being right here and right now. And so I actually loved his idea and his concept that I'm gonna share with you now about the unknown being actually the present moment and that the unknown in the present is actually the most generous loving gift of the universe.

Because right here, right now, like I always say, we have all the power and the creative control right here, right now. And so he has a concept and he talks about it in the sense of there being a Familiar Past and a Predictable Future. So the Familiar Past is how we got here. It's who we've been. It's the way we think. It's the way we feel. It's the beliefs we hold, It's the actions we take, the choices we've made. It's the culmination of who we are right now. And if we look back and we haven't actively changed our thinking or our way of being, right, we can sort of see the types of results we get from that thinking, feeling, being right from that identity of who we have been.

That is the life experience, the personality, the personal reality that we've been creating. And so Dr. Joe actually talks about it in the sense that if nothing changes, right, if we don't change our habits, our beliefs, our thoughts, our energy, our attitude, if nothing changes today, we can actually assume that the future is gonna be quite similar and we're actually gonna move into a Predictable Future. What?

Okay. I want you to just let that sink get, We have a Familiar Past. The exact way we've been moving through the world for most of our lives. And if we don't intentionally change right here and right now, today in the generous present moment, as he calls it, of this unknown right here, right now, we're just gonna keep going along the same trajectory that we always have been.

So I'm gonna give you an example. Right. Maybe we're constantly giving into this idea that being a performer is so hard. Right. It's so hard. There's no jobs, and it's just really exhausting. And you can't build a life of financial wealth and stability when you're doing it. And the same people always get those jobs, right?

And we're in that energy and we're believing all these low quality stories that our brain is offering, right? We're believing all these stories and we're making it mean lots of things about ourselves. I'm probably not that talented. You know, there's not that many opportunities for Asian performers. Insert any ethnicity. There's too many people of my type. All of these thoughts, and we know what those thoughts create.

Those thoughts do not create the results we want in our careers. They do not create good feeling vibrations. They do not create hope. Or joy or positive expectations or possibility, right? Those thoughts are just low quality thoughts that keep us believing in the story of the industry being hard, the industry being unknown, right? And so if we keep believing those thoughts, what do you think is gonna happen a year from now? Two years from now? Three years from now? 10 years from now, where do you see your career going if you are still being the actor, singer, or dancer that doesn't enjoy being in the performing arts? What do you think the future is gonna hold for you and your career with that identity? There might be some moments of inspiration and fun, but I really want you to think about that. It's kind of a hard pill to swallow.

It's a Truth Mirror moment. If you are not enjoying your career today, what makes you think it's gonna have a different outcome tomorrow or in the future? Right? It's gonna be a Predictable Future. You're still gonna wake up feeling stressed and frustrated and angry at your agents, and you're gonna be wondering what is happening in your career and why it didn't work out for you. It's gonna just create more of the same.

Does that make sense? If we don't change something in the here and now, in the present, in the actual unknown. We are gonna move into a Predictable Future based on our Familiar Past. And so here is why there's so much power in changing your mindset, okay?

Most performers don't wanna stop to do this cuz they wanna keep going. They wanna figure out the how, they wanna meet the right people so they can get in the right doors. But if ultimately you're still believing  that there's not opportunities for you, you're gonna just still keep taking the same actions and getting frustrated and burnt out. So what do we do about this?

We open our brains up to new possibilities today, and we have to be willing to make different choices about how we're thinking and feeling today in the unknown to create a new outcome. And this is when it gets really important to be willing to observe with love and without judgment.  Because it can be really painful to see what's been created and what's being created when you're judging and shaming yourself and telling yourself that you're horrible and wrong. But when you're using this information for your benefit, and when you're using this information to make a different choice, you have all of the power and the outcome is one hundred percent in your control.

And this is what I mean, when you wanna be creating the feeling of stability, you get to just look at what right now feels unstable? What are my thoughts about the industry? How is my attitude about the industry and the instability being created, and what would it look like to make a different choice? What would it look like to believe that no matter what happens in the industry, I will always navigate it with ease, certainty, and flow. Like seriously, think about. How easy would it be for you to exist in the performing arts if you believed it was simple to navigate?

And so when we go back to the idea of the Familiar Past, creating the Predictable Future, we have to be willing to think, feel, choose different right here, right now. Okay.

What does it look like to start becoming the version of you  that feels totally secure and confident in their career? What would that require for you? And if your brain immediately wants to go to, Well, I need to know ahead of time what's gonna happen, Just ask yourself, what if that wasn't true? What if it wasn't true that you needed to know everything right now in order to make a plan?

How could you move forward with any decision with so much ease and openness, and again, flow? When we're willing to move with the universe and when we're willing to trust in the timing of things, when we're willing to believe that things are working out for us and that we always get what we want or better, right?

When we're really willing to believe that we don't have to know what is happening next week or a month or six months from now. We actually don't. We're taught that because our brains are constantly looking forward, but really when we're fast forwarding and looking towards tomorrow, or when we're living in the past, we're not actively creating in this present moment.

And again, that's where all of the power is. That's where all the uncertainty lies, which means that there are infinite possibilities. So it's like, what do you wanna be true for you today? What are you willing to practice thinking, feeling, behaving, acting, choosing, doing today? And if you really were embodying the self-concept of the person you want to be and creating a new outcome for tomorrow, right? You could borrow the self-concept of your future self that you're wanting to become.

That's actually how you create something new- in the willingness to think, do, be, feel, choose differently today in the unknown. It's your best freaking friend.

So I really want you to think about, is this moment, is what's happening right now, if your Familiar Past was becoming your Predictable Future- do you like what's being created? If the answer is no, what are you gonna do about it? What do you want to do about it? Because you get to make a different choice. You get to be whoever you wanna be. You get to believe in any possibility beyond your wildest dreams.

It just takes every day being willing to keep believing before the results, right? To know and trust that the universe is working with you to create exactly what you want and to be willing to believe that the unknown is your friend. I just want you to start there. Start exploring and seeing, what do you think would need to be different for you?

What's one thing you can do today to make sure that you don't have a Predictable Future? That you have a Created Future, and that you're actively building it right here and right now. All right. I will meet you back here for another episode.

I hope you enjoyed today's episode, and if you did, make sure to share it with a friend who is also an actor, singer, or dancer. You can also help spread the word by leaving this review wherever you listen to podcasts in order to help people find this resource. Lastly, you can find me on Instagram @kelliyoungmanwellness, and if you're interested in coaching, make sure to head to kelliyoungmanwellness.com/waitlist to join my list now. See you soon.