Ep 10: How to Love Self Tapes and Auditions

In this episode, I'm gonna give you a step by step playbook to how you can approach your self tapes and auditions in a way that feels fun, easy, and actually has you loving this part of your career. And I promise by the end, it's literally not gonna matter whether someone watched it or not. You ready? Let's go.

Hello, you are listening to Love Your Life as a Performer podcast. I'm Kelli Youngman and I am The Life Coach for Performers. I help actors, singers, and dancers love themselves and their lives way more. So keep listening to learn how you can love your life, both on and off the stage.

Hello and welcome back to episode 10 of the Love Your Life as a Performer Podcast. Ha man, I just have to share that I am having a lot of breakthroughs in my own personal growth as far as just remembering that we are human, okay? We are 100% human, and we are gonna continue to have human experiences, human emotions, very human thoughts, and very human brain.

Okay. That is just what we signed up for coming into this life, , and it never ceases to amaze me how much coaching literally can change your experience when you give yourself space to identify, acknowledge, witness your current thoughts. And create space to investigate question and really sit with what you're currently believing and how it's creating your results, right? How it's influencing the outcomes in your life. How it influences the experience of your life on a day to day basis.

So I wanna emphasize that even me, as a coach with the tools that I have need to clean out my brain. I'm just laughing at how in any given week we can be experiencing circumstances, thoughts, feelings, a whole range of human emotions that are not good, bad, right, or wrong. Right. But they totally impact how we feel and how we move through the world. And this is just the power and the benefit of coaching. When you are able to identify the way your experience is being shaped by your thoughts, it just gives you space to release, take on new thoughts, and inevitably have a totally different experience of your life.

Okay. Coaching is literally the best freaking thing that ever happened to me. I'm so grateful for the access that I have to coaching and the gift that I've given myself to invest in just training my brain to think differently, to give myself permission to see the value of having time to love and support my human brain and the experience of my human life.

It literally changes everything. Okay. So I just have to share that because Yeah. Even me as a coach, I still need to get my brain coached up, and I freaking love it. It changes everything.

So today as promised, we are gonna be talking about self tapes and auditions, and I'm gonna be going through the process from like an experienced, lived in moment. What does that even mean? I'm gonna be talking about this from the moment you get the email to going through the actual audition. Okay. And I'm gonna be talking about auditions and, and self tapes sort of interchangeably, but just be willing to see how this applies to both or either or, right? And just know that you can explore and try it on and see how it fits for you.

But I just want you to know that auditions can feel so freaking fun, so delicious, so exciting, and so energizing when you have the thoughts to create that experience. So if it doesn't feel like that yet, don't worry. It's not a problem. And I'm gonna tell you exactly how to step into that so you can start actually enjoying your auditions and your self tapes too. 'Cause it's a hundred percent available to you.

Okay? So let's start with the minute you get the email to your inbox, right? Most people will receive it - an appointment, a self tape, an EcoCast alert. Or maybe if it's like you are submitting yourself, it could be the equivalent of seeing the post on BroadwayWorld or Playbill or wherever you look for auditions, right?

So there's the moment of like, okay, there is a task at hand. There is an audition. And this is where I find that sometimes there can be a little bit of dread or overwhelm, right? And that comes from like that, Oh crap, this is gonna be hard. This is gonna be a lot of work, X, Y, and Z. So just look at what happens for you when you think of the moment you see that there is an audition, you see that there's a self tape to make. Okay, and you just wanna start becoming aware of what your thoughts are in that moment. What are you feeling right then and there?

For me, when I see this, again, I preface this by saying I'm human. I have a range of emotions, and sometimes it depends on the day, right? For the most part, when I see like there's a self tape or there's an audition, my thought is like, Yay. This is gonna be so fun, or Ooh, I'm so curious. What is this? Like, yay. The Universe is dropping another opportunity into my lap. Or I literally use it as evidence of like, I am a freaking magnet for auditions. I always get auditions, right? I let it support my belief of my constant creation of opportunities and auditions. I'm like, Yes, here's another one. Right? That's a fun thought. You could steal like, yay, another one. Okay. But so you wanna just look at how are you feeling? Even just noticing and becoming aware of that there is a self tape to make.

Okay? And then you're gonna think about, is this something I wanna do? And you get to choose, right? Like you get to be in charge of the opportunities that you decide to pursue. And actually as I'm thinking about this, this episode is gonna be a big one. So give yourself permission to listen to it a few times and go back and get the nuggets that are in here for your own brain. Okay? Cause I'm just realizing, as I'm starting talking, this is gonna be a lot.

But remember that you get to decide what opportunities you wanna take on. You get to be in charge of your calendar. You get to be in charge of the thoughts you choose to think about the things you fill your time with, and you get to decide that this is gonna be useful to do.

Okay? So you're gonna decide, is this something I want to do, yes or no? And if you love your reasons for that, yes or no, you're either gonna make the tape or you're not. Right. But you're not gonna indulge in drama of like, I should do it or my agents are gonna be mad if I don't. Right. You're gonna honor how you feel in your body about this self tape.

Okay. Or this audition, and you're just gonna decide. And if you decide like, Yes, I'm interested in this project, then you're gonna move on to the next step, which is like, I'm gonna make time for this and it's gonna be so useful. Because here's the other thing, right? Sometimes people will decide that they wanna make the tape, but then they indulge in the drama of like, This is so hard, I shouldn't have to do this. The tech is so complicated, and again, it's not a problem, but I just want you to imagine how it feels to be thinking those thoughts and then going to make a self tape. When it already feels like before you even begin, that it's literally a struggle and a challenge... it's just not gonna be as much fun, right?

And so there's a simple solution. You can change your thoughts even about the tech. What, Yes, you can change your thoughts about the tech. And so you can start thinking, this is simple. , and I know that sounds so simple and obvious, but it really does change your experience in your body, your experience of self tapes when you're believing, I know how to do this.

This is gonna be simple. This'll be fun. Or even if it's challenging, it's totally worth it. Every time I do this, it gets easier and simpler. Right. You could think about how this is true for you and how it would shape your experience. Okay? So then you decide, Yep, this is gonna be so worth it. I love it. I'm putting it on the calendar. I'm committing to doing it, and I'm gonna do it. It's gonna be so fun. Okay? And you get to just decide that that is how you feel about doing this self tape.

And there might be logistical things, right? Renting studio space or asking a friend to, you know, read the sides with you, or having to reschedule other things in your life. Maybe the only time you could do it, you're scheduled to work or you have these other commitments, and you get to just decide again, when you're committed to doing it. And when you decide it's worth it, you're gonna be way more willing to make those adjustments. You're gonna be willing to ask for help. You're gonna be willing to trade a shift with someone.

You're gonna be willing to spend the money, even if it's a same day rate of, I don't know... some studios in New York, you can get same day rate studios for like $17 or less. I've actually had clients tell me that they've gotten studio space to sing for like the same price as a latte. And I know we're talking New York prices, okay? But just know that it's available. When you open your brain up to being on board again, your brain's just gonna be so much more resourceful in supporting you and creating the outcome you want, which is like a really pleasant and fun experience of making self tapes or going to auditions, right? You get to let it be easy.

Okay, so you're gonna get on board with your decision to do the tape. You're gonna be resourceful in creating and scheduling and arranging all of it. And that it's gonna come time to like do the work to prepare. And so the way I love to think about it is just like, how would I do this if it was fun? Like what if the goal is fun? What if the goal is like stepping into my creativity? What if the goal for preparing for this is like letting myself embody what it would feel like to be hired and on set or in rehearsals for this project? How would I be showing up? Right.

There's a different level of presence when you're already believing it's something you are willing to invest your time, energy, and you know, resources into versus like, this is something that's probably not even gonna get watched. What's the freaking point? It's just a different way of showing up to your work. So what does it look like to show up as the person who gets the job? Right? You literally can infuse that energy in the creation process of making the tapes. Okay? So that's what I would offer is that you can literally do the work as if you're the hired professional. You get to then be in the experience of being a professional.

So you get to prepare in that same way you would as if you were hired, and then it's gonna come time to actually make the tape. So what I wanna offer is, again, you get to decide what you wanna get out of the experience and what if it has nothing to do with booking the show? Seriously, let that sink in. What if every self tape you do has nothing to do with whether or not you get that specific job? And now I know your brain might be saying, but Kelli, you teach manifestation and shouldn't I be manifesting this opportunity?

And yes, you get to be all in with believing I'm perfect for this show. Like I would love to do this project. Being all in on like, I'm the perfect person. They want to hire me. Yes, of course. Go all the way. All, all in. And sometimes when we go to the space of it needing to be this specific job, we actually get really freaking tight. We get really laser focused on like it's all or nothing. I need to book this. Or else. Dot, dot, dot.

And what I find for myself and my clients is that when you're in that space of like, it needs to be this specific thing, we're just making this one audition mean something about us. Okay. It's like whether I book this show or not is gonna determine whether I'm talented or whether I'm successful, or whether I am moving in the right direction. Whether my career is stalling or not. Right. And what if the results from your self tapes or auditions genuinely did not matter? What. Seriously. What if it literally did not matter what happened from this one specific audition or tape? Like literally, if no one watched it, what if that changed nothing about your end goal or where you want to be in your career?

And if this is blowing your mind, I just want you to like take a breath and I'm gonna explain exactly what I mean by this. Okay? Each audition gets to be an opportunity for you to experience yourself as a performer, right? And this is literally how I think of it.

Each audition gives me an opportunity to engage with my career. To actively be doing the thing that I love, whether it's dancing, singing, acting. No matter what I'm putting on tape or no matter what I'm doing in the room, it's not only to get the job. It's to keep growing as an artist. It's to engage with my craft. And again, like I genuinely think of it as an opportunity to have fun.

And what I'll say is, it's so fascinating because I know I've offered this before and I've even said it in like Equity Facebook groups and just offered that like you really get to allow it to be like a source of fun. And when I said this to someone, what if you just let it be for fun? People came back saying like, fun is for amateurs. If you're doing it for fun, you are an amateur and like that's literally the definition of amateur. And I just wanna offer that being a working professional is not separate from having fun, right? Fun and being a working actor or singer or dancer, those two things are not mutually exclusive.

I think I'm using that in the right way.  Like you can have fun in pursuit of your career as a working professional in this field. And what if fun is actually the thing that makes you magnetic? What if you enjoying your career, enjoying your self tapes, enjoying your auditions, makes you the person that stands out. And makes you available to do your best work and makes you an energetic match for the things you want to receive. Okay?

Fun can be the thing that creates your next opportunity, and when you're really making every audition about having fun, about loving your career, about doing your best work. Right. When you're allowing every audition and self tape to feel like that, you're just gonna continue to engage in your career in a way that makes you want to keep engaging with your career, right?

It doesn't feel fun when you are allowing your relationship to self tapes and to auditions to be a burden. When they are a burden, when they're like something you air quote have to do and not something you want to do, it feels like, obligatory. It feels like heavy. It feels like, again, not fun, a waste of time, and it feels like something that's a chore rather than like literally getting to be the thing that you love doing.

Right. What if these auditions and self tapes all get to be an opportunity to love what you're doing? And I know I've said that a million times and I'm gonna say it a million more. Okay. But, so I just want you to think about, what does it look like to go into the audition or the self tape for the sake of fun, for the sake of connection, for the sake of engaging with your craft? And I want you to explore what that looks like for you. And it might be other things too, right? But like, what does it look like and feel like when you're like releasing the pressure of I have to book this job.

And here's the thing that I believe a hundred percent of the time. What is meant for you will never pass you by. What is meant for you will never pass you. So you get to really reinforce that there is no scarcity to the opportunities and the things that are coming your way. And when you believe that, you can see every single audition as just lining you up and preparing you for the thing that's meant for you, right?

Like I look back and there's definitely auditions that like expanded my self concept, like allowed me to step into thinking I could be a leading woman or allowed me to think of like myself as a singer, right? Coming from a dance background. And you get to look at what does that mean for you? Right. If it's the other way around, like, Oh, I'm an actor who moves, and like you can just start expanding, well, what if I did think of myself as a dancer? Every time I had a dance call, I was just like, Yep, I'm a dancer. Right? Like, you get to infuse every single opportunity with the self concept that you wanna have. And then each audition after that gets to be like a little springboard to exactly where you're supposed to be.

Right? And what if you knew that everything was lining up in perfect timing for you? And that you never had to worry about the opportunity that's right here, right now. Because whether it's this one or the next, your success is inevitable. And I want you to think about if you felt that way, what would change in how you are approaching your self tapes and your auditions?

Okay. And here's the other thing too. When the outcome doesn't dictate whether you're successful or talented or good, or whatever else we're making it mean, right? When it means none of that, you're also willing to look at, okay. What worked? What didn't work? What do I wanna do differently for the next time?

And instead of then being in the drama, just air quote, drama of like, Self tapes are hard. This was a waste of time. No one watched this. I want you to just be willing to see, like instead of solving for all of that, you could be taking your brain to a space of really elevating your auditions, elevating your craft, elevating your skills of auditioning. When you're not in drama about like, Oh my gosh, this is terrible, your brain is willing to look at what worked, what didn't work, what do I wanna do differently. And like being willing to see those things without making it a problem. Right.

For example, I used to show up kind of last minute  and I would be a little like running late. Like when we were doing a lot of in person auditions, I would run late and then go to Starbucks, get a coffee and a sausage, egg, and cheese, and then I'd sit there and I'd eat it and I'd be rushing. Back then I like wasn't willing to see like, okay, this isn't working. Right? Like when I was indulging in the drama of like, ugh, they weren't actually looking for anyone, or they weren't looking for my type, or they just wanted tall girls and they should have said that, right?

Like when I was indulging in all of that drama, I wasn't actually willing to see like, Oh Kelli, you actually were really rushing. You were running late. You weren't in the energy of being your best self at this audition, and you like just pounded a sausage, egg, and cheese right before you went in and danced. Again, like without the judgment, I can offer myself love and I can be willing to see, maybe there are some things that I could change and would set me up for even more success in the future.

Right. And then also, when I'm not indulging in all that other drama, I can just be focused on the next opportunity and know whatever I learned from this experience is gonna be so freaking valuable for the next one, right? It's always setting me up for the next one, knowing that my success is inevitable. So again, I want you to think about if it didn't matter, if the outcome of one single self tape or audition genuinely didn't matter and didn't impact the inevitable success of your results, what would you be willing to think and believe and feel about yourself after every single self tape and audition?

You would be available to be really proud. To love what you do. To celebrate yourself and the accomplishment of doing that audition. You'd be willing to witness your growth and you'd just be like, again, available to love the job and the role and the lifestyle of being an actor, singer, or dancer. When you're not hating this major, because again, like this is a part of our industry, auditioning and doing these things and self tapes all of the time submitting, right? How much would that change if you weren't hating and resisting this part of the process? Right. It would be so freaking different.

Right now, I am manifesting a freaking original Broadway cast. I know it's coming, whether it's this show or the next, it's freaking coming. And like for me, I just get to stay in the love and the excitement of that journey.

So again, I'm just gonna recap by leaving you with some thoughts about self tapes and auditions. But I want you to be willing to go back and listen to this a few times because there's a lot in this episode. Okay.

So again, auditions, self tapes. They get to be an opportunity to love your career. They get to be an opportunity to do what you love. Every audition is getting you closer to your dream job. Whatever it is. Every audition is preparing you for the thing that's coming. What's meant for you will never pass you by. Self tapes get to be easy, simple, and a source of fun. Receiving a self tape gets to be exciting. Submitting a self tape gets to be an opportunity to feel proud. Submitting a tape gets to be an opportunity to celebrate how far you freaking come. Each time you do it, it gets to feel good. It gets to feel better every single time. Every time you audition, you get to grow. Every time you audition, you get to witness how freaking amazing you are. Every audition, every self tape is an opportunity to celebrate how freaking talented you are.

Okay. So I'm gonna leave it at that for now. I can't wait to hear how this influences and impacts how you're relating to your self tapes and your auditions. Because I promise, when you change your thinking about your tapes or about the work you're doing, right. When you're trusting that the work you're doing is good and allowing your tape to be easy and simple and not doing like 5 million different takes, right? Trusting that you got the shot in the first three or four, right. It gets to be so simple. You get to trust that the work you're doing is amazing and the perfect opportunity is lining up for you right now.

Okay, so if these thoughts feel really foreign to you, it's totally not a problem. Okay. My clients come to me with all of the thoughts, and then we work on creating intentional beliefs about who they wanna be and how they wanna feel in their careers and in their audition processes. And when they do, they create way more space for fun, opportunities, more jobs, and just way more enjoyment of their actual life in the performing arts.

So if you know that you're ready to get started, head to kelliyoungmanwellness.com/waitlist to get on my list now. Because the sooner you start working and incorporating these ideas and these beliefs... and again, this is just scratching the freaking surface, but when you're doing this work for yourself, you can create anything you freaking want. Okay, I will meet you back here for another episode.

I hope you enjoyed today's episode, and if you did, make sure to share it with a friend who is also an actor, singer, or dancer. You can also help spread the word by leaving us review wherever you listen to podcasts in order to help people find this resource.

Lastly, you can find me on Instagram at @kelliyoungmanwellness, and if you're interested in coaching, make sure to head to kelliyoungmanwellness.com/waitlist to join my list now. See you soon.