Love Your Life as a Performer

Ep 8: Money Beliefs as a Performer

September 14, 2022 Kelli Youngman
Love Your Life as a Performer
Ep 8: Money Beliefs as a Performer
Show Notes Transcript

In this episode, we're gonna be talking about money and how your relationship to it may be impacting your career today. You have all the tools you need to create financial freedom, access abundance, and way more wealth in your life. And this episode's gonna tell you how. Let's do it.

I hope you enjoyed today's episode. And if you did, make sure to share it with a friend who is also an actor, singer, or dancer. You can also help spread the word by leaving this review wherever you listen to podcasts in order to help people find this resource.

You can find me on Instagram at @kelliyoungmanwellness. And if you're interested in coaching, make sure to head to kelliyoungmanwellness.com/waitlist to join my list now. See you soon!

For a full transcript, go to podcast.kelliyoungmanwellness.com.

Join us inside of Momentum with Lifetime Access at kelliyoungmanwellness.com/momentum.



In this episode, we're gonna be talking about money and how your relationship to it may be impacting your career today. You have all the tools you need to create financial freedom, access abundance, and way more wealth in your life. And this episode's gonna tell you how. Let's do it.

Hello! You are listening to the Love Your Life as a Performer podcast. I'm Kelli Youngman and I am The Life Coach for Performers. I help actors, singers, and dancers love themselves and their lives way more, so keep listening to learn how you can love your life both on and off the stage.

Hello. And welcome back to episode eight of the Love Your Life as a Performer podcast. I just have to share that I got back from Spain yesterday, and I am just still processing the fact that we got to take this amazing trip and something I kept saying was like, oh my gosh, this is like a once in a lifetime trip.

And I kept having to stop myself because I was like, wait a second, Kelli. This is not once in a lifetime. You get to have a life where you can travel as much as you want. You get to create a life where you can have these kinds of experiences and you get to normalize that this is who you are now. And I just realized how much there was still this sort of like bumping up against my old self concept of like those fancy vacations are for other people and not for you and like how much my brain still wants to sometimes offer that yeah, that that's for other people or that this is like a rare occurrence. And I keep having to slow myself down and acknowledge that like, no, this is who I am. This is life I'm building. And like, there are gonna be lots of opportunities to have these incredible experiences that just surpass my wildest dreams.

And I kept saying to Steve, like, oh my gosh, this is not once in a lifetime. There's gonna be so many lifetimes . And what I kept meeting to say was there's gonna be so many more opportunities for fun, amazing things that my brain just like can't even wrap itself around yet. And that's okay.

So what I wanted to talk about for this episode was what it looks like to grow your belief and your money mindset, because I realized like, again, so much of my work has been choosing to intentionally plant seeds of wealth and abundance and financial stability and security. And I look back and I remember like genuinely being the person who felt so freaking broke all of the time. And I've kind of like sprinkled it in some of the, the previous episodes. But I grew up as one of seven kids.

And I wouldn't say that we were you know, poor or like didn't have what you needed by any means, but it was just like all of those same societal beliefs about like "money doesn't grow on trees" and like "being rich is bad." And like, those people are like that because they're rich. And again, I don't think it's any fault of my parents or anyone's right.

But like, we grow up with the societal beliefs and programming about what it means to have money, about the access that we have to money. And I think it's so important for performers to be aware of because there is this sort of like starving artist myth or starving artist perception of like, if you choose to be in the arts, you are not going to be comfortable. You are going to be struggling for money. You're gonna have to live really sort of like broke all of the time. And I look back and I just know that that was a huge part of where I was, especially when I was in college.

Some of you may or may not know this, but when I was in college, one of my younger brothers was diagnosed with cancer. And he was going through, um, chemo and all of the things. So there was a time where my family was struggling. And so when I was in college and I was sort of accruing debt and loans and sort of navigating what it meant to be a performer at that age where I was starting to learn what it felt like to support myself with like my work study income and, and working at The Ailey School on the weekends when I was in college. Like there was just all of this heaviness around the responsibility of what it meant to own that financial independence and to take on what it meant to try and create financial stability.

So I just wanna share this because if there's anyone out there that's like, feeling like money is the thing that's making all of your decisions. Right? If you are thinking like, I can't do that because I don't have the money. Right. Like I just, I just wanna emphasize that anything is possible for you.

I just vividly, I kept thinking about this this week for some reason, but it kept coming to my brain that back in the day, like on my way to Horton class at like 8:30 in the morning, I would like stop the deli and like buy a buttered roll and I'd be like, okay, this has gotta get me like through the day, as long as possible.

Like I was trying to buy like the cheapest freaking thing, like getting my dollar coffee from the bodega and just like really not fueling myself with love already out of this sense of scarcity and also like body thoughts, all of that. Right. But it was just like, what can I get that is the cheapest? Like, how can I save more money? How can I try to navigate having this little bit of money that I have? Right. How can I manage this little bit of money that I have right now and not lose any of it or you know, be irresponsible with it.

And the thing was now looking back is like, those were the exact thoughts that kept me in the space of scarcity and lack and fear around money. Right. Like the idea of like, I don't have enough. And then when I would have like a freaking surplus or I would get like, you know, a bigger check or things like that, then I'd be like, oh my god. I have to like spend this and indulge because I never ever have enough for myself. Right. Like my biggest belief was that I just never had enough.

So anytime I had more than enough, I would go out and spend it. And so this created a big cycle for me. And if this sounds familiar, just hang in there, cuz it's gonna get better. And if it's not familiar, great, like also listen in for like where this might apply in other areas of your life. Right. Where maybe it's not scarcity of money, but it's scarcity of time or scarcity of opportunities.

Anytime we're in that lack, it's just never going to align us with the abundance and creating more. When we're only thinking about what's right here in front of us and like just air quote, managing what's right here, we're not creating the space and the possibility to receive more. Right. Like back then, I was never thinking, well, actually that's a lie. I was thinking, how can I make more money? But I wasn't thinking like, how can I tap into what's valuable about me? Right? Like what do I already have? That's valuable. I was thinking like I had to go out and find something else or get just like the easiest, simplest job as a performer, which was like mostly waiting tables, right?

Like zero commitment, no big thing. Like just go make like fast, easy, simple money. And so, all of this to say, I just think there's like a missed opportunity for a lot of performers to realize that what you have, who you are is valuable. That you can create value. That you can create and access more money just by tapping into who you are.

So the first thing that needs to happen if you are in the camp of like struggling with money or thinking that it's hard to be a performer and have money or have the lifestyle you wanna have. Right. Like I used to always think that I was never, ever gonna get to be happy or like have the kind of life I wanted until I married someone rich or until I finally made it to Broadway or finally booked that big contract.

I used to think like that was the thing that was gonna allow me to feel wealthy and abundant and sufficient. And what I learned is that it's not those outside things that create the feeling, right. It actually is us. The feeling comes from us. And you have to be willing to feel the feeling of wealth, to tap into raising your own self-concept, what you think about yourself with money,  in order to have access to more money.

It's not the circumstances that create more money. It's you. It's how you feel and think, and you know, vibrate about wealth, which is something that really took me a long time to figure. And so I just want you to check in with yourself when you think of yourself and the amount of money that you have, how does it feel? Like, does it feel good?

Does it feel tight? Does it feel scary? Does it feel exciting? Like how does that feel for you?  And the thing is whatever amount of money you think it is, right? Like, I used to say, Ugh, if I could just have like $10,000, that would be so amazing. Like my brain couldn't fathom having $10,000 in my account.

Right. Like it was like, oh gosh, like I would just feel so much better if I could just have a thousand dollars. Right. But like whatever was in my account, $300, $50, like I've been in the negatives and like I would just be so freaking scared and tight. And then I've also had the experience where my account's been in the negative and had like zero emotional reaction.

And to me, that's honestly where the emotional, financial freedom is. When money isn't the thing that's creating, how you feel about yourself, your life, or your money. Now here's the thing. You can have lots and lots and lots of money and still have thoughts that it's not enough. You can have like a little money and feel very, very grateful, right? Like it all comes back to how important your thoughts are when you are thinking about yourself and your money.

So what I wanna offer is like, again, think about how you feel about money right now. And also, what is the number that you currently associate with yourself? Like what is the air quote annual salary and income that you associate with yourself right now?

Maybe it's $30K. Maybe it's $50K maybe the idea of making like $100K in a year feels like wild to you. Right? You're like, holy shit. If I made a $100K, that would feel crazy. Right. And I'll just share that right now, I'm in the process of believing that I am a person who makes $500K a year. Right.

And I just remember, like when I realized that people could make $200,000 as a coach. I was like, what? That's possible? What? Like, I could do that? Right. And like over the course of a few years now, I'm like growing my self concept to believe that I can be someone who makes $500K a year, right. As a performer and as a coach combined, because again, like they're all part of who I am, but I can be a $500K earner.

What happens in your brain when you let yourself believe, like I could make $500K a year? Does it feel like totally wild? Does it feel like a fantasy? Just interesting to notice and observe and witness what's happening in your brain?

Okay. So all of this to say, like, I have been on a freaking journey with my money. And my money mindset. And I want to just, again, reiterate that it starts with your thoughts. It starts with how you are thinking and feeling about yourself with money. So this is the part of the, this is the part of the podcast where you're like, okay, Kelli, great.

This is all amazing. But like, what do I do? Here's what you're gonna do. No matter where you are with your money. I want you to just start noticing the thoughts that you think about money. Right. Are your thoughts about money? Like, Ugh. Money is like the worst thing in the world or are you thinking like money loves me and I love money.

Like I love money and it's so great when I have it and I appreciate it and I love it and I, you know, take care of it or is it like, oh my God, money is just like the bane of Bain. Is it Bain or vain?  money is just the worst thing in the world. It's the bane of my existence. I don't know if I said that right, but that's ok.

But so you just wanna start noticing, what are your thoughts about money? What are your thoughts about having the life you wanna have while being a performer? Are you telling yourself that you're gonna be in financial struggle for the rest of your life? Or that it's gonna be too hard to be a performer because you can't afford to live? Or that you'll never be able to afford rent? Just notice if you're telling yourself like, oh my God, it'd be so nice if I could have that, but I can't because I'm being a performer. Because I'm choosing to pursue acting, singing, or dancing because I'm choosing to be a performer, I cannot have the life that I want. And if that's you, I just wanna say like, I totally get it.

And I love you. And I've been there. It's up to you to start changing your thoughts about money. It's up to you to start seeing how money is a tool, how money is just energy. And that money gets to be a resource that you, you, literally YOU, have access to right now. Right? The sooner you start believing this, the sooner you can start tapping into ways that feel good to make money, to receive money, to become a magnet for money.

and the reason why this is so important for performers is because again, I think that so many performers stop themselves from doing things or making investments that can serve them just because they don't wanna spend the money. And I get this again, this used to be me. I used to say like, oh my God, I can't afford to go to class.

I just don't have the money. I can't afford it. And I would tell myself over and over and over that I just couldn't afford my life. I couldn't afford being a performer. I couldn't afford the resources I needed. And it wasn't until I started shifting my thoughts that I was like, wait a second. I am willing to figure out how I can budget $20 in a week to go take a class.

Like taking a voice lesson once a month, even if it means I'm spending a hundred dollars or more, is like so freaking worth it to me. Why is that experience worth more than the money that I'm spending? Right. And this is where it's like, we're gonna talk about this more too, but it's like really, like, what is the difference between spending and investing?

And like, when I invest in myself as a performer, right? If I pay $500 to take a course, like I remember earlier this year, or maybe it was even the end of last year I had signed up for Galen Hooks intensive. And I remember thinking like, Ooh, this is expensive. But it was like fun, kind of expensive. I was like, Ooh, this is like a really big investment in myself, in my career.

Like this is gonna be so valuable. This is really going to serve me as an artist. Right. Again, it's taken me a little while to get to these thoughts, but just know that they're available, right? You could choose to think that every dollar you spend will come back to you 10 times. You could choose to believe that it's easy for you to make money and that you are a money magnet and money comes from everywhere, unexpected places, right?

So I just want you to start being aware of what your thoughts are and like, what would it look like for you to believe that every time you invest in something, whether it's LaDucas, new pointe shoes, taking a dance class, getting on the bus and paying for the bus ticket to get to dance class or the train, right?

Like I remember I used to have so much drama when I was living in New Jersey, like I would, I would totally go take class, but it's gonna be so expensive cause I have to pay for the train and the class and it's just like, it's not gonna be worth it. Right. So I would stop myself from even making those investments before I even did it. Or the same thing with auditions, it's like, Ugh, I would totally go to that audition, but it it's gonna cost me time and money to go to this audition. Right. It's like your brain focusing on the loss instead of what it's gaining. Instead of what it means to really invest your time, money, and energy into being a performer.

Right. And so the last thing I'll just share is that before I booked Anastasia, I had a final callback or even no, that's a lie. I had an appointment and I remember just thinking like, Ooh, this is something I really want. And I really believe that I am perfect for this show. Right. I went all in. I was like, what do I need to do to make sure that I am as ready and prepared as possible for this audition?

At the time I had not been doing pointe. And I remember like literally being like, I better go out and buy some point shoes. I gotta be taking ballet class and like taking pointe class. And I remember thinking, like, if I book this show, I'm gonna need to know exactly what pointe shoes that I want the wardrobe, costumes to be able to order for me, so I need to figure out what shoes work for my feet. Right? So even just being willing to take the time to go have a fitting and figure that out ahead of time, I was willing to invest because I was tied to the belief that it was possible. I booked so many voice coaching, voice lessons, and I just remember like really thinking, like, what would it look like if I went it all in? And I have to be honest at the time I had been on tour with The King and I, but I still hadn't quite learned how to have money because I wasn't believing I was a person that had money yet, even though I had been on Broadway. Been on a National Tour. I still was kind of like in this place of like air quote, I don't know how to manage money. I don't know how to be a person that has money. Right. So just notice if your brain is telling you, oh, it'll be so much easier to like deal with money once I have it, like, you still have to do the work of the thoughts and managing your mind around money to be a person that has money.

But anyways, at the time, even though I had been working and like having these high paying jobs, I didn't actually have money. So I remember when this audition was happening, I was like, shit, I'm gonna have to put this on my credit card. I'm just gonna put it on my credit card. Right. And being willing to even take on debt to invest in this opportunity, to invest in this next career goal. Right? And so at the end of it, I think I had spent over $400 on this one audition.

And a lot of people would've said like, that's crazy, that's wild. I'm not doing that. But you know what happened? I freaking booked the show because I was more prepared than I had ever been going into that room, with the belief that it was possible for me to book this show. Right. And I just think back, and I'm so proud of myself for doing the work around my money beliefs, even though I still had some work to go, right. Like I still was figuring out and navigating how to be a person with money. Right. But like, I'm so grateful to myself that I was willing to spend it. That I wasn't looking at the loss of the money and preventing myself from investing in that next thing.

Right. From being willing to spend it, knowing it was coming back to me. Right. It's like, what would it look like if you weren't deciding what you can do or can't do, or what's possible based on money? And if you weren't afraid to lose it. Because the truth is money comes and goes, it's always available and it, you can always make more of it.

But where are you right now maybe stopping yourself from investing in a class or a lesson, or literally anything that would serve you in your career as a performer? And what would it look like if you were believing that you had access to even more wealth and abundance, then you even know is possible?

It is a hundred percent been my experience that when I am vibrating full of wealth, right... and nothing in your circumstances needs to change to do that. You can just start feeling and finding the ways that you have enough, right. And when you're showing your brain over and over and over again, I always have what I need. You're gonna feel safer and different within yourself. And you're gonna start building trust with yourself to spend money. Because yeah, what would've been different if I hadn't gone all in? What would've been different if I hadn't been willing to spend that $400? Who knows! The outcome might have been very, very different.

I might not have booked my second Broadway show. Right. If I was like, oh, I gotta just use what I have, these old pointe shoes from like 10 years ago. I don't know that's an exaggeration, but right. Like, or I don't wanna spend the time. I can't take the time to go have this pointe shoe fitting. I can't spend the money on this voice lesson cause I just don't have it.

Right. I'm not saying you have to go into debt, but like what does it look like for you to not be afraid of it, to know that no matter where you end up, you'll always have exactly what you need. We're gonna keep talking about this cause I think it's really, really important. And again, every performer could be a $500K earner.

I really think that. Like every performer can have the lifestyle that they wanna have right now. And if you are not yet believing it's possible for you, why not? Why not you? And this is one of the things that I really work intensely with my clients on is. Choosing to believe they can have the life they wanna live, which a lot of times includes improving and changing what they're feeling and thinking about themselves when it comes to money and having a life they wanna live.

So if this episode really speaks to you just know that you can join my wait list now. Head to kelliyoungmanwellness.com/waitlist and you can get on my wait list for one on one coaching.

But just know, again, all of this starts with you and your thoughts and what you're believing about yourself as a performer. So just start there. Start practicing and thinking thoughts that include financial stability, financial wealth, financial freedom for you in your life as an actor, singer, or dancer. Okay. I will meet you back here next week for another episode.

I hope you enjoyed today's episode. And if you did, make sure to share it with a friend who is also an actor, singer, or dancer. You can also help spread the word by leaving this review wherever you listen to podcasts in order to help people find this resource.

You can find me on Instagram at @kelliyoungmanwellness. And if you're interested in coaching, make sure to head to kelliyoungmanwellness.com/waitlist to join my list now. See you soon!