Love Your Life as a Performer

Ep 3: Decide You are a Performer

August 07, 2022 Kelli Youngman Episode 3
Love Your Life as a Performer
Ep 3: Decide You are a Performer
Show Notes Transcript

In this episode, I'm gonna share how you can start feeling proud of being an actor, singer or dancer today. It's also gonna be extremely useful if you've ever felt yourself hesitate. When someone asks you, "What do you do?"

I hope you enjoyed today's episode! And if you did, make sure to share it with a friend who is also an actor, singer or dancer. You can also help spread the word by leaving this review, wherever you listen to podcasts in order to help people find this resource.

You can find me on Instagram @kelliyoungmanwellness and if you're interested in coaching, make sure to head to kelliyoungmanwellness.com/waitlist to join my list now.

For a full transcript, go to podcast.kelliyoungmanwellness.com.

Join us inside of Momentum with Lifetime Access at kelliyoungmanwellness.com/momentum.



In this episode, I'm gonna share how you can start feeling proud of being an actor, singer or dancer today. It's also gonna be extremely useful if you've ever felt yourself hesitate. When someone asks you, "What do you do?" You ready? Let's go.

Hello! You are listening to Love Your Life as a Performer podcast. I'm Kelli Youngman and I am The Life Coach for Performers. I help actors, singers, and dancers love themselves and their lives way more. So keep listening to learn how you can love your life - both on and off the stage.

Hello. Can you believe we have made it to episode three of the love your life as a performer podcast?!

Now that you know, you are a powerful creator. And that your thoughts are your most powerful tool in this creation process. I am gonna let you in on one of the fastest ways that you can start loving your life as a performer today, whether you are an actor, singer, or dancer, or all three, any combination in any specific order, I want you to just decide that it is who you are.

Now I'm gonna tell you this sounds simple, but our brains love to do lots of things. And most performers find themselves really confused about whether or not you are a performer. So I am going to offer that you get to just decide. You have permission to decide right now that you are an actor, singer or dancer.

Now, the way this shows up for most of my clients. And at times it showed up for me as well, right. There was confusion about which one I was. And so there's this idea of having to fit into a label or a category or a type, and we create this illusion of needing to figure it out. We spend a lot of time figuring it out.

And this also might look like, okay, if I'm a dancer, am I contemporary? Or am I classical? Am I a musical theater dancer? Or am I commercial? Right? Am I gonna do legit acting or do I wanna do more TV and film? We create all of these like air quote subcategories. And spend lots of time thinking we need to figure it out and I'm just gonna let you in on a little secret. You don't have to choose.

Now, remember what we said: you're not gonna use anything that I say on this podcast against you.  And there's, of course, gonna be times where we want to make the decision and we want to actively pursue one specific thing. That's not necessarily what I'm talking about at this point in time. What I am referring to is thinking that you can't be successful until you air quote, figure it out and make a decision. That is just simply not true.

And another good thing is that you can't get it wrong. When you are willing to just take action and decide that you are a professional and that you are an actor, singer or dancer, you can let the opportunities that come to you be in perfect timing.

You can trust your intuition when you're drawn to specific projects, right? That's one of the things that will become clearer as you keep moving forward. So don't let this idea of air quote, needing to decide, keep you from moving forward. Right?

The next way that this shows up is when people are confused about whether or not they are a professional. And here's the thing. You get to decide what it means to be a professional. Did you know that? Everyone is gonna have slightly different ideas of what it means to be a professional. Okay. And you literally can just decide what it means to you. So just take a second, even right now, what does it mean to you to be a professional?

What does that look like. How do you show up in the world when you believe that you are an actor, singer or dancer, and that this is your profession. I'm just gonna offer that if you are pursuing this actively as a career, that you can choose to think of yourself as a professional. I know you might be thinking I've lost my mind. But seriously.

And especially if you are at a place in your career where you haven't yet booked that big contract or that equity job, or that project that really is gonna make you air quote, officially professional and officially legit, lots of air quotes going on here. I just wanna offer, why wouldn't you let yourself step into the place of thinking and identifying as a professional?

What do you think the harm would be? It's so, fascinating because most of the time, the fear comes from the interactions and conversations that you are having with people outside of the industry. Right? It's those conversations with friends, family, extended family, acquaintances. When you have to answer the question, "What do you do?"

And you answer with actor, singer or dancer, and feel like there is an immediate sense of inadequacy when you have to sort of explain or feel like you need to justify that title. Let me know if this resonates with you. Just try it on. Because oftentimes the question that comes next is, "Oh, what have you done?"

What have you been in? Would I have seen you in anything? And what I know from my clients is that oftentimes the next thought in their brain is: Oh. Nothing big, nothing that you would've heard of. Now, I have to just remind you, right, that the feeling of inadequacy, when you are asked those questions is also optional, because we know that our thoughts are optional.

So before we move on, just a little side note: you get to decide how you wanna feel when you are asked those questions. And you can decide that someone is not trying to undermine your career or call you out. You could totally choose to feel excited that they're interested in your career and you could choose to have the thought: not yet, but I'm about to be in something amazing!

Right? You get to just think whatever thoughts you want and create whatever beliefs you want in your brain. Okay. And I'm gonna talk about this on a whole nother episode, but I literally did this for six months straight. So I know it's possible. I told everyone and their mom that I was gonna be on Broadway and that I was about to make my Broadway debut, even though I had literally no evidence. Okay. So just wait for that story. It's coming.

So all of that to say, you get to decide that you are an actor, singer, or a dancer. You get to decide that you are a professional while you are auditioning, while you are in between contracts, and that it is unconditional. It is just who you are.

And here's the next thing. If your brain is already like, wait a second, Kelli. You're crazy. You're a professional. When you get paid, that's fine. You can totally hold onto that belief. Just consider and ask yourself, is it serving you? I wanna offer that choosing that belief sets up the premise that you are only a professional when you are actively working.

And that my friends is where a lot of really talented, freaking amazing performers get stuck because they're thinking that they are only professionals and that they are only actors, singers, or dancers, if, and when they are on a contract. And that simply isn't true.

I love giving this specific example because I just think it is so clear, right? For some reason, performing artists love to think that our title is conditional. Right. But I want you to think about a doctor. Okay. A doctor who is very amazing at what they do, and they have their license and they've trained and gone to school. And then they open up a practice. Sometimes they are seeing patients. Other times they are not. Sometimes they might be in a surgery. And again, other times they are not.

That doctor is never stopping to think that they are not a doctor in between those moments. Right. They're not only a doctor when they're seeing patients or in surgery, right. Being a doctor is part of their identity. It is who they are. They would never think that they are less of a doctor when they're not doctoring.

So I want you to just check in and ask yourself, where are you making your artistry, your career, your profession- where are you making it conditional? What are you making it mean about you when you are in moments of auditioning or training or the air quote in betweens of contracts and being on set?

And here's another Truth Mirror moment. Okay. What would be different if you weren't treating those air quotes in between moments as in between. Whattttt. I'm gonna say it again. What would change about how you are approaching your career, if you weren't treating those air quote in between moments as less than, or as diminishing or as something that you should be ashamed of, or embarrassed of, or allow it to disconnect you from the pride of being an actor, singer, or dancer.

This is the power of choosing how you want to relate to yourself and your career. And it starts with choosing to believe you are an actor, singer or dancer, right freaking now. It doesn't matter if you're getting paid today. It doesn't matter if you've been on Broadway or been on TV or any of that. It literally doesn't matter. What matters is what you are choosing to believe and how it makes you feel, right freaking now.

Okay. So if you've gotten on board with the fact that you are an actor, singer or dancer, you might be like, okay, Kelli, but now what? Amazing. This is a great place to be. Now what? I want you to connect to being an actor, singer or dancer and ask yourself, what would that version of you be doing right now?

When you know that you are a professional and you treat yourself with the level of love and compassion and respect that you would, when you're booked on your dream contract, what would you be doing today? It's very simple. When you're choosing to be an actor, singer or dancer, it informs the thoughts, feelings, and actions that you take.

Right? This is how you start being a powerful creator. You just ask yourself, what would this version of me be doing right now? It's very, very simple. And if your brain wants to be confused right now, just pause this podcast. Take 30 seconds to think about: what would I be doing if I genuinely believed I am an actor, singer or dancer, that I am insanely talented and that opportunities are available to me now? What would I be doing with my time?

What would I choose to be doing? What would I be thinking about myself? What would I be believing about my career? And then guess what? You just do those things. It's that simple. You start living your life as if you are that version of you.

Now listen. We are gonna keep talking about this in- depth in upcoming episodes.

So don't worry if your brain is getting a little bit confused or overwhelmed by the next steps. What I want you to take away from this episode is just simply getting your brain on board with the idea that you are a professional. That you are an actor singer or dancer, or all three or any combination of the three, right now. This is something that is unconditional.

And I want you to really think about where are you making it conditional? Where are you currently creating subconscious rules or conditions about when you are a performer or when you are not. And what does it look like to close the gap of believing that there are parts of your career that are more important or more successful or more meaningful than other moments?

Right. You just get to decide that right now you are in an amazing chapter of your career. And I want you to really sit with why wouldn't you want to believe that? Why wouldn't you create beliefs about yourself and about your career that are juicy and inspired and fill you up with so much passion, excitement, joy, and pride for being an actor, singer or dancer?

Right. And really, that's what I want you to take away from this episode. That you can choose to love being an actor, singer, or dancer. And it starts with really deciding that you are one always and forever, as long as you are decided. Okay. I am getting fired up! And this is just the beginning. So I will meet you back here soon.

I hope you enjoyed today's episode. And if you did make sure to share it with a friend who is also an actor, singer or dancer. You can also help spread the word by leaving this review, wherever you listen to podcasts in order to help people find this resource. You can find me on Instagram @kelliyoungmanwellness and if you're interested in coaching, make sure to head to kelliyoungmanwellness.com/waitlist to join my list now. See you soon.